Nearly FMLs

By Soaked - 24/09/2017 07:12

Today, during a torrential downpour my boss' boss came by to say, "without being a dick" that unless your raincoat was fire resistant you couldn't wear it. Just in case you caught on fire... in the rain... FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 7

By Anonymous - 24/09/2017 00:07 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, after over a decade, I found out that my childhood dog didn't die of old age like I'd been told, but was actually suffocated by my father. Turns out, that hadn't been his first attempt at quietly killing my dog either. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 9

By Youngster Joey - 23/09/2017 23:49 - United States - Edison

Today, for the first time, I smelled old people smell at my parents' house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 7

By fml110202 - 24/09/2017 05:36

Today I began my first day of internship as a medical student, and for the first time in my life got racial slurs hurled at me, just because they thought it was funny, by two different demented patients. Don't know what else I was expecting, but I guess I better get used to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 6

By 1brokegirl - 24/09/2017 04:16

Today I had several of my friends confirm they were coming to my housewarming party later in the day. My roommate and I got everything set up and waited for 2 hours after the official start time for people to show up, and not a single person came or even texted us to say they couldn't make it. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 24/09/2017 04:03

Today i was on my friends phone in class to calculate a problem. The teacher doesnt allow phones in class, and of course he caught me, and threw the phone at the wall, destroying the phone. My friend isnt really happy with me anymore.... FML

I agree, your life sucks 35

You deserved it 73

By Anonymous - 24/09/2017 03:23

Today, while staying at my boyfriends house, i had to borrow some socks for work. Turns out one of them was his used cum-sock and it was fresh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 14

By "Lalli Beenhere" - 23/09/2017 19:35 - United States

Today I went on an interview for a really good job. Only to find out the HR rep knows my current boss on a first name basis.... FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 7

By vegantreegirl - 23/09/2017 22:53

Today, I'm only three months away from paying off my student loan.I found out I'm being laid off next week....FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 7

By Megz - 23/09/2017 13:05 - United States - Delhi

My MIL showed up to our wedding and told my now husband she couldn't stay the who time, she had to get to a friend's wedding.... The friend was my husband's ex fiance who had cheated on him...

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 6

By stootyooty - 23/09/2017 17:04

Today when I went to the bathroom at my school, I opened a stall door and saw my math teacher masturbating. I guess he closed it but forgot to lock it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 4

By Anonymous - 23/09/2017 15:57

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I moaned "God," she then stopped in the middle of it, looked me directly in the eyes and said "God doesn't exist." The mood was ruined after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 13

By piliseep - 23/09/2017 07:10

Today, I learned that my cousins, who are also my roommates, went out for drinks and dancing without me, again. I also found out my boyfriend, who claims to never have enough time for me, went out to a bonfire with his friends and got drunk instead of calling like he promised for the third time.

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 9

By Betrayed - 23/09/2017 06:40

Today my family is taking a Disney Vacation, I moved out of my parents home months ago because they cause me crippling anxiety by constantly reminding me why im not good enough, instead of taking me to the parks they cornered and screamed at me until I was sobbing. I have no way to go home... fml

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 6

By The boss guy. - 23/09/2017 06:31

I have been working for the same company 13 years, finally got a HUGE promotion. First night at our new facility just me 75 associates and the vendor who died of a heart attack my first day alone in a new role.

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 5

By "Dustin Allen-Duwayne Lakey" - 23/09/2017 04:31

Today...I lost my car keys. Then while looking for them, I lost the flashlight I was using...FML

I agree, your life sucks 29

You deserved it 27

By "GumStickExtraGmail" - 23/09/2017 03:48

Today, I was doing a play where I had to where a skirt to play a senile old man. As I said my line, a woman from the audience says, "She wore hairy stockings to seem old!" I didn't.

I agree, your life sucks 36

You deserved it 14

By Bloody - 23/09/2017 02:42 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I found out I got my period, by kissing the girl who just went down on me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 20

By "chubbear" - 22/09/2017 23:30

Today I went to schedule an eye exam, and the receptionist told me my name doesn't come up on my mom's insurance at all. Then I found out mom's company took off her dependants without warning anyone, which means I'm not covered at all. I can't refill any meds I need now, either...

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 7

By Ken - 22/09/2017 22:44

Today my girlfriend left me for a guy who i work with and had told her how good of a person he was. Before this a year ealier she had left me for one of my best friends and being the desperate person i am after they broke up i had begged her to comeback to me.FML

I agree, your life sucks 22

You deserved it 76

By Applicant - 22/09/2017 20:31 - United Kingdom

After finishing off a weeks long meeting / planning session in the UK me and the only other American there went out for a drink. He leaned over and said you know you just spent a week eliminating your own job. My response. Yes, I know.

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 7

By Alwayshappens - 22/09/2017 13:02 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and his roommates fling was hanging with us. I thought I was seeing things when I saw him staring at her and their little jokes. I fell dozed off and woke up to them talking aloud and then DM each other on FB so I wouldn't over hear their private NSFW convo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36

You deserved it 7

By leah - 22/09/2017 11:57 - United States - Tampa

Today, my best friend blocked me on all social media and is refusing to speak to me, calling me "morally reprehensible". Why? I took a DnD Alignment test and got Chaotic Evil, and he took it seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 11

By mulch - 22/09/2017 09:23 - United States - Butler

today almost every member of my family refused to let me sleep on their couch even tho i was evicted. their reason, 'you're over 30, you can figure it out'. last night i slept on a pile of mulch because it's the only place i could find where i won't get arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 18

By mulch - 22/09/2017 15:21

today almost every member of my family refused to let me sleep on their couch even tho i lost my apartment. their reason, 'you're over 30, you can figure it out'. last night i slept on a pile of mulch because its the only place i could find to lay down where i wouldn't get arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26

You deserved it 8

By supremebaritonegoddess - 22/09/2017 06:48

Today I didn't see my hamster in his cage so I spent 5 minutes looking for him. After a while I gave up and looked at his cage and saw him just sitting there. I was already running late, and traffic was bad. I wound up missing the bell and getting my first detention ever. Thanks, Hamilton. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17

You deserved it 48

By Anonymous - 22/09/2017 05:28

Today at college, a girl waiting outside the men's restroom asked me to hand her some paper towels because there were none in the women's restroom, so I obliged. This takes the total number of girls I've made wet this year down to -1. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 8

By "OkayyyBoyyy" - 21/09/2017 18:25 - Panama - Panama

Today I was planning to break-up with my boyfriend because I'm in love with my best friend. Turns out my boyfriend cheated on me with my bestfriend this whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 22

By NotSoSmart - 21/09/2017 15:51 - United States

Yesterday I was late to work due to not being able to find my wallet. When I finally gave up and left home, I was dead center into the massive traffic jam and going to be an hour and a half late. After a long 16 hour shift, I came home to find my wallet under paper on my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32

You deserved it 35

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my mom gave me a severe scolding because I refuse to support my 3 sisters, and support 3 "home-wreckers" instead. They are my daughters, who are 3, 5, and 7 years old. My sisters are 25, 28, and 31 years old, and won't get jobs because they are "too important". FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 333

You deserved it 239

Today, I woke up panting and drenched in sweat from a horrible nightmare. I'd been dreaming that bright, colored shapes were falling from the sky and I couldn't make them all neatly align with one another on the ground. I guess I should stop playing so much Tetris before bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 598

You deserved it 5 116

Today, my dad asked what I wanted for my birthday. The only thing I wanted was the complete series of Dragon Ball Z on DVD. He just sighed, shook his head, and asked me to pick something normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 320

You deserved it 2 010

Today, I ran into a new guy at work who told me the regional manager was visiting today to evaluate the staff. I scoffed and said that everything I'd heard about the manager made him seem like a total prick. His reply? "Maybe, but I'm a prick who can FIRE people." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 323

You deserved it 27 296

Today, I woke up at 7am next to the man I swore I'd never get intimate with again. After trying to get back to sleep despite my shame and disgust, he ripped the loudest fart ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 283

You deserved it 48 099

Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 402

You deserved it 2 421