Nearly FMLs

By Samantha Glennie - 21/09/2017 19:36 - United Kingdom

Today I was accused of being a home wrecker and a bitch for stealing their boyfriend. Im their boss and all I did was text them with the times and uniform for his next shirt. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 8

By Dating Sucks - 21/09/2017 20:32

So I have been trying out some dating apps to find "the one". I was excited last weekend because I had two different dates, one Saturday and one Sunday. Saturday night the one date didn't even show up. Sunday when driving an hour to that date he sent me a text to cancel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 8

By virginal - 21/09/2017 20:03

Today, I found out I have genital herpes. I lost my virginity just a month ago to my now ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 11

By purrito - 21/09/2017 19:41

Today I found out that my boyfriend recently joined grindr FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 11

By Jinxy - 21/09/2017 16:31

Today I woke up to my roommates dog howling outside my door, knowing she needed to go outside. (My roommate worked at 5am) so I open the door and the dog had gotten into her bathroom trash and tore up a shit ton of tampons and had them all over the hall.... FML

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 8

By Uncle Dumas - 21/09/2017 13:34

Today, I told my baby mama about a relatively expensive toy I bought our son for Christmas. Hours later, she called to tell me that she has asked her father to get the same present for our son for his birthday, which is at the end of this month. Her response "so he can have it for his birthday". FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 7

By Anonymous - 21/09/2017 13:08 - Norway

Today, I realized that my girlfriend of 2 years is three weeks pregnant. And engaged. We last met 3 months ago. We were in a long distance relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 14

By Nickels28 - 21/09/2017 07:00

Today my boyfriend and I had just started to have sex when our neighbor and his kids knocked on the front door. He's now in the lounge room playing video games with them while I now have to get ready for work horny and unsatisfied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 11

By Florida girl - 21/09/2017 04:58

My mother moved back in town a month ago and still hasn't contacted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 7

By 30andbabyfaced - 21/09/2017 04:45

Today, I walked into a restaurant to order soda. The employee said "you're both too young to drink alcohol" referring to me and my elementary aged student as we looked at the drinks menu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 5

By Dammit. - 21/09/2017 04:07

Today, I realized I'm friends with someone who thinks the Holocaust was faked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 10

By WhyYouLying - 21/09/2017 01:39

Today I found my "ex" boyfriend has been sexting with his ex behind my back the entire relationship. I found out when she sent me the pictures on Facebook FML.

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 7

By Anonymous - 20/09/2017 21:23 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, within hours of my 9yo brother finding out I have a boyfriend I received an anonymous text from "a friend" warning me my boyfriend is cheating on me. Attached to the message was a badly photoshopped pic of my boyfriend, which I had taken of him, seemingly kissing Jennifer Anniston FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 20/09/2017 22:21

Today, I took a phone call from a very large client of ours who asked to speak with their account rep. After confirming that the rep was at her desk and I would be transferring the call he replied, "Thanks kiddo." I'm 34. FML...

I agree, your life sucks 43

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 20/09/2017 22:21

Today, I found out that my life-long friends who promissed to stand by our side as my to-be ex wife and I are going trough a divorce, who have dropped me like a stone as "they had'nd heard from me anymore in a while" Had a nice dinner all together with my to-be ex wife FML.

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 9

By Amanda - 20/09/2017 17:48

Today, it took me so long just to get a full time job and health insurance. After finally obtaining these with a position I really like with super nice people, our boss said he decided he was going to sell the company. Guess I'm job searching again. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 20/09/2017 08:26

Today, I tripped & hit my head on the concrete at school. The back of my head absorbed all the impact. I went to see the nurse & he was the most unhelpful, rude person I’ve ever met. I got no ice, he yelled at me, complained, and kept asking why I was crying. Why the hell do you think I am? FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 8

By wasted time - 20/09/2017 06:49

Today, I found out my husband has an ad on Craigslist for personal encounters. There goes 10+ years of marriage down the shitter. fml

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 10

By Rapunzel1974 - 20/09/2017 06:07

Today, while I was relaxing in the tub with a glass of wine, my spastic Chihuahua jumped up and stuck her tongue up my nose. When I screamed, she stuck her tongue in my mouth. I couldn't push her away without spilling the wine or dropping the book. I got waterboarded by man's best friend. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 16

By Lovesick Sophomore - 20/09/2017 04:25

Today, I was planned on confessing to my best friend of 4 years. A few hours before my planned time of confession, we were texting, and by 30 minutes' time, without me even saying anything about our relationship, she'd dropped two bombs on me; "I love you like a brother" and "I'm a lesbian". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 9

By "islandian" - 20/09/2017 02:43

Today I third-wheeled. I was with my boyfriend and his friend. He had me sit in the backseat of the car.

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 12

By Concernedparent - 19/09/2017 16:51 - United States - College Station

Today, I was billed $19.99 for a gay pornography video. I'm not sure if I'm more upset with the bill or the fact that I only have two sons. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 15

By ElectricJeep - 18/09/2017 23:29 - United States - Fairbanks

Today, my husband officially voiced he definitely wanted a divorce. I was speechless. He took that to mean that I don't care about our marriage. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 12

By Klutche - 17/09/2017 14:00 - United States - Seminole

Today, I found my wallet while cleaning my room. The same wallet I'd accused my drug-dealing stepbrother of stealing a month ago. The same wallet that has $500 in it that I was certain he'd taken. The same one my stepfather yelled at him for, because he believed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 365

You deserved it 3 994

By HowToMeetNewandInrerestingPeople - 17/09/2017 11:22

Today, I met a 21 year old proud mother of six. I noticed she had more children than teeth. Gotta love working in a hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 10

By snowbirdie34 - 16/09/2017 04:30

Today, I signed a lease with a coworker because she seemed normal enough and our city is ridiculously expensive. Promptly after signing, she said that she's having an affair with another coworker and that he needs a place to stay as his wife is kicking him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 704

You deserved it 610

By SAW96 - 15/09/2017 02:53

My boyfriend was giving me A piggy back ride just to good off and when I got off his back my period soaked through my pad and jeans, and on to his white shirt...

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 20

By That girl - 14/09/2017 12:35 - United Kingdom

Two nights ago my boyfriend came over with all my stuff and broke up with me. We had just gotten back from vacation and I was even more in love with him before. All he could say was we just weren't right for each other.

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 13

By Anonymous - 13/09/2017 20:45 - United States

Today my mom posted all about my sister's birthday. it was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 11

By Bryan - 14/09/2017 00:13

Today I was leaning against a wall, and felt a tickle on my neck. I thought it was my collar on my shirt, ended up being an ear wig, FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 6

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The Top

Today, I got my husband his favorite candy and wine for Valentine's Day. He got mad and accused me of doing it to "bribe" him into bed, since he hasn't been wanting sex lately. When I asked how he could say something so cruel, he admitted that he's been cheating on me, and my gift made him feel guilty about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 103

Today, I thought it was a good idea to flush the stink bug I found in my kitchen. Later I went in the bathroom to take a crap, and next thing I know, I feel a stink bug on my privates. I guess it didn't flush after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 025

You deserved it 8 729

Today, after putting the same load of laundry through the wash four times, I was wondering why my clothes kept smelling worse and worse. Turns out, my cat learned how to open and pee in the detergent funnel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 529

You deserved it 876

Today, I went to my first university party already a little drunk. I perched on the end of a table to cool off from the dancing and the whole table tipped over and dumped me onto the floor. I was promptly laughed out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 444

You deserved it 889

Today, my grandpa decided to charcoal-grill some steaks. Inside the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 269

You deserved it 2 109

Today, my financial troubles got so bad, I contemplated visiting a friend simply so I could swipe their deodorant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 294

You deserved it 7 095