Nearly FMLs

Riiiiight...

By Ffs mum - 25/11/2017 05:00

Today, I let out a big sigh after a long day. My mother, a "recovering" alcoholic, overheard and promptly used it as an excuse to go out and buy wine. Apparently, if I cared about her I wouldn't "spread the negativity" and she would still be sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 909

You deserved it 233

By Anonymous - 25/11/2017 02:19

Today, I found out that my girlfriend's almost daily overtime is actually her still being at her place of work.. except she's fucking the manager in the storeroom. ... Atleast that explains her constant "headache" whenever we slept in the same bed lately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 12

By HoobidibooFox - 25/11/2017 00:46 - United Kingdom - Huntingdon

Today I’m experiencing withdrawal symptoms from coming off one medication, side effects from my new medication and to top it all off I’m on my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 9

By Thesortitguy - 25/11/2017 00:36 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, my boss yelled at me for something I had no control over whatsoever. When I told him, he said he “would sort it out”. I was really glad so I kept thanking him. “No,” he said, “I meant if I were you I would sort it out”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 10

By WhisperedThreats - 24/11/2017 22:41

Today, on Thanksgiving, I developed the flu. Vomiting, diarrhea, everything. My in-law’s don’t have medicine or crackers and everything is closed. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 4

By lowbatterywarning - 24/11/2017 22:41

Today, I noticed my husband was wearing a plain gold wedding ring instead of his engraved one. He told me that he has a habit of losing his wedding rings and just buying new ones to replace the lost one. This is apparently his fourth replacement in 2 years. He doesn't understand why I'm so upset FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 24/11/2017 21:16 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I hardly slept last night. But I decided to go to university anyway. Five minutes before the beginning of the lesson, we got a call from our teacher saying he was still on holidays and there wouldn’t be any lecture today. We were all sitting in the lecture hall already! FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 7

By Zabes - 24/11/2017 20:25

Today my wife and I decided to decorate for Christmas...the worst task to give to a perfectionist is to “fill out” an artificial tree...FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 9

By Potnkettle - 24/11/2017 20:02

My boyfriend got mad when he found out my new boss had cheated on his wife with the woman I replaced. I found out he's been trying to cheat on me for the past month.

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 6

By MenstruationSituation - 24/11/2017 18:07

Today, I was attempting to empty my menstrual cup in the toilet at work as I accidentally dumped its contents into my work pants. I had to waddle through the office and ask my coworkers for spare pants with a giant blood stain on my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 23

By "Zyvun" - 24/11/2017 17:47

Today, while pooping at work I stood up and didn't notice that a small piece of feces fell on the floor. Later my colleague stepped in it and blamed the security guard. He got fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 38

Mind-Blowing

By Housekeeper - 24/11/2017 15:00

Today, I'm taking care of the family house, as my parents died last month. Having spent 3 days manually raking the lawn, I was looking for tarps to help me move the leaf piles. I found the tarps covering a leaf blower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 695

You deserved it 545

By Anonymous - 24/11/2017 08:15

Today while doing anal for the first time I learned that surprise diarrhea is more slippery than the lube we've been using. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 31

By Anonymous - 23/11/2017 23:13 - United States - Pomona

Today, I found snapchats to random girls in my husband's phone when I repeatedly told him I had issues with this. He thinks this is grounds for divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 11

By BigFeet - 23/11/2017 20:50 - United States - Round Rock

Today I got to hang out alongside friends for the first time in months because jobs make it hard to find days off together. i slipped on some steps and hurt my ankle but didnt feel like ruining the fun, so stayed with them through dinner and a movie. i cant get my shoes off due to swelling FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 16

By Dem - 24/11/2017 03:15

Today I was at Walmart and an elderly man in a wheelchair looked at my legs and noticed how skinny they are. He stopped wheeling and said, "Hey bud. How do you even walk with those legs? They're so skinny and useless." I looked surprised as he just wheeled off. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 10

By Anonymous - 24/11/2017 02:03

Today, my sister was buying a car for $1500. We drove over an hour to go get it. About 15 minutes into driving it home a deer darted in front of us. There's now a $1500 deer running around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 8

By ADDead - 24/11/2017 00:41

Today, I had to return my ADD self-help book that I've been renewing from the library for months because I just can't get through it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 12

By doctorshateher - 23/11/2017 22:59

Today, the dentist told me I have to see a surgeon to get rid of my wisdom tooth that causes me a lot of pain. The surgeon I went to last time didn't accept me and told me to call a clinic instead. The clinic isn't answering my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 10

By ALFABOT2000 - 23/11/2017 21:43 - United Kingdom - Hayes

Today I was going old school and playing bowling on the Wii. I didn't have the grip jacket on it but I wore the strap so as I swung the remote flew up and whacked me right in the forehead. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 30

You deserved it 52

By 7-1 :( - 23/11/2017 22:25

Today, I was playing an old baseball game on an old gaming system I’ve had since I was 11. My cousin came in the room screaming and wanting to play Sonic. I said no. He took the console and threw it down the stairs. Guess who got blamed. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 11

By "KawaiiSkank" - 23/11/2017 21:54

my boyfriend was scrolling through his photos to show pics of the cats to his mom and he went right past a butt pic that wasnt mine in his camera roll

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 23/11/2017 13:31 - United States - New York

Today like every other year we are running late to thanksgiving because my husband refused to wake up and decided to pick a fight with me to get out of going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 15

By Mylife - 23/11/2017 18:59

Today is Thanksgiving. I'm at home alone with no food in the house and everything is closed. #FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 34

By just following the rules - 23/11/2017 11:11 - Canada - Welland

Today, at my cashiering job, I had to give a customer a large amount of change due to me not having anything besides nickles and dimes. He watched me count his change for 2 minutes while I apologized profusely, only to freak out and throw the money at me when I was done. fml

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 8

By Poor & embarrassed - 23/11/2017 01:10

Today, I tried to wash my work shirt in my bathroom sink. I thought it worked, until my manager took me aside to tell me that my coworkers had complained about 'my hygiene' - I shower & use deodorant every day, but I'm just too broke to wash my clothes in my complex's laundry room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 21

By SadNeighbour - 22/11/2017 19:04 - United States

Today I had to pick up my roommate from another town because it turns out, her family was not having Thanksgiving this year because her mother died two weeks ago. Literally none of her family members thought it was important to tell her until she drove up and asked her shocked dad how mom was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 8

By SadLittleBrownGirl - 22/11/2017 23:21

Today I was working at ikea putting up Black Friday deals, and a woman came up to me , holding a huge tv for show, if it was for sale and I said no. Then she threw the tv at me, missing by a mile . Then, My boss saw me and accused me of breaking the tv. Turns out it was an expensive tv and im fired

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 6

By SadDad - 22/11/2017 20:42 - France

Today, I found out I was being cheated on by my wife. Guess who she cheated on me with? Her stepson. My son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 10

By Anonymous - 22/11/2017 14:37

Today, my boyfriend texted me asking if I wanted to hang out at the movies. I got there early and found him exiting with another girl. He saw me leaving right after they kissed, and texted me saying it was his sister. He's an only child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 9

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, as always, when my dad says he needs my help and that it will only take 15 minutes, it will actually take all day because he doesn't plan ahead. This has happened three times now, so this time I demanded he compensate me for my time if I have to drive out there. He called me an "entitled little shit" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 219

Today, a friend of mine sent me a message saying, "Man, I am so sorry but we were both really drunk and I swear it didn't mean anything." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 427

You deserved it 4 332

Today, I got a completely random boner at a coffee shop, five seconds before two attractive women asked me to stand up and take their picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 594

You deserved it 5 782

Today, I got fired for saving my company upwards of $6,000. I'm as confused as you are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 246

You deserved it 2 362

Today, I was shopping with my friends and I got asked by a man if I could be in one of his commercials. I obviously said yes without thinking twice. I then found out that he wanted me to be the before picture for an acne control moisturizer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 353

You deserved it 10 169

Today, my boyfriend came across an old poem I wrote. I like to write horror stuff, but he was disturbed, called it “silly” and “sad”, and said he didn’t want to have a girlfriend who thinks about stuff like that. I'm now discouraged from becoming a writer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 761

You deserved it 226