Nearly FMLs

By NightProwler - 30/11/2017 18:14 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I found myself talking to myself about how I need to stop talking to myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 23

By nentenkupo - 30/11/2017 18:49

Today, I went out to eat with my parents. My mom suddenly screamed at me to put my napkin in my lap, and my dad backed her up. The entire restaurant went silent and stared at me. I'm 22.

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 16

By "clutzirella" - 30/11/2017 12:39 - United States - Chincoteague Island

Today I was dying my hair and trying to get a loose strand out of my face I whipped me head. Doing so I nailed myself in the eye with a lock of dye soaked hair. My eye still burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 54

By TwoDaysTilPayday - 30/11/2017 18:17

Today I got groceries after checking my acct balance. Swiped my debit card, but it declined it. Cashier told me to try again and it paid all but $2 which I paid in change. Checked my acct in the lot and saw they charged me twice leaving me with a 0 balance. Supposed to drop off in a few days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 7

By Anonymous - 30/11/2017 18:05

Today, after deciding to take a break from life and my phone I woke up to see my sister had reported me missing and was hanging flyers of my face all over the city FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 22

By Anonymous - 30/11/2017 14:56

Today, I went to the doctor to see if I had herpes from my wife. I didn't before but now I do. Thanks to my doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 10

By Anonymous - 30/11/2017 13:04

Today, I am on day 30 of my seemingly never-ending period. My dad still won't let me see a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 7

By Tucc - 30/11/2017 10:34

So, last night on IG I was exchanging intimate photos with this girl I've been talking to, and somehow, while trying to send a full-frontal, I accidentally posted it to my STORY. Not only that, but it uploaded to my facebook story as well, and I only found out this evening, when friends told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35

You deserved it 85

By waytooyoung - 30/11/2017 06:03

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. I would be furious if I wasn't appalled by how young the girl looked. I threatened to call the police to see her ID to make sure she wasn't underage. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 11

By roomies_SUCK - 29/11/2017 22:39 - United States - Round Rock

Today our electric turned off because my roommate deemed his black friday splurge more important. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 11

By MisterPain - 30/11/2017 05:00

Today I had a HORRIBLE burning sensation in my throat. I found out that I got shingles. Inside my mouth and throat. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 4

By Anonymous - 29/11/2017 20:39 - United States - Sumter

Today, my brother realized that I was watching porn at the dinner table with my headphones on, & he told my super conservative stepmom.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16

You deserved it 241

By Anonymous - 29/11/2017 19:08

Today, my mother-in-law has decided my boyfriend and I are no longer allowed to see each other outside of our shared classes at uni. Why? She wants him to date someone from the same hometown so he won’t move too far away from her in the future. My house is a 50 min. drive from theirs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 9

By James - 28/11/2017 22:43 - United States - Douglassville

Today I fell asleep on the bus on the way home from school. While half asleep I walked to get off but tripped because my foot fell asleep. Stumbling and completely out of it I proceeded to tell my female bus driver “I love you” out of habit and everyone on the bus heard me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 32

By Sarah Marie - 28/11/2017 17:20 - United States - Tuscola

Today, I met my ex husband’s live-in girlfriend’s husband.

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 6

By "zurc" - 28/11/2017 23:40

my boyfriend still has his ex's number saved in his contacts.while reading them out loud to me he purposely skipped her name(could see from my peripherals)to hide the fact that he still does. dunno if they still talk or if it's a just in case thing.either way it bothers me.

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 33

By LostInLove - 28/11/2017 16:35 - Canada - Burlington

Today, I realized I am in Love with my Boyfriends bestfriend, he kissed me in a stoned moment a few weeks ago and now he's all i can think about. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 43

By Tom - 28/11/2017 22:19

Today, I got my biology test back, only to find that whilst daydreaming during the exam, I had drawn penises all over the back of the paper. The teacher called in my parents and asked me to describe to them what I had created. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30

You deserved it 88

By jim crow - 28/11/2017 22:00

Today, while I was asleep in class, my obnoxious friend took my phone and changed my ringtone to a racist song. He turned my ringer on full blast and called me. I'm now suspended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 40

By Paola Caraballo - 28/11/2017 21:27

Today, in my anniversary with my exboyfriend whom I’m still in love with. Instead of celebrating I’m in my room eating pizza, ice cream and drinking my weight in wine.

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 36

By HowAreYouToday - 28/11/2017 20:59

Today I was at the gym when I decided to use one of the machines. I set my phone down on the ledge, and after one set found it on the floor. I guess the movement made it fall, and of course it fell directly onto the power button, smashing it in. Looks like I can’t let my phone die now... FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 26

By sad_and_alone - 28/11/2017 18:18

Today, I was laid of from my job. My long-distance boyfriend of 4 years and I had discussed moving in together and I cancelled the lease on my flat. Now he's telling me it would be better if I didn't move in and we broke up. No boyfriend, no flat, no money, no job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 11

By Anonymous - 28/11/2017 02:08

Today, mom and dad invited me to their Christmas dinner. They are divorced. I have to choose one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 8

By Gwenivere Elizabeth Dixon-Johnson - 27/11/2017 19:55 - United States

Today, after avoiding driving for years due to being afraid of it, I finally got my license at age 20. Guess what was the first thing that happened when I went to park at my college ? I hit someone else's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 22

By Oof_ - 27/11/2017 15:58 - Canada - Westerose

Today, I had to give my girlfriend a talk on why it's not ok to sleep with other guys while in a relationship. She still doesn't see why I'm upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 11

By Shattered Heart - 27/11/2017 21:37

Today I happened to glance at my partner's phone message that came through. She has been reconnecting with an abusive ex from several years ago. They are planning on seeing each other "whist having an intimate moment" on New Years. I'll be out of town visiting my family.....FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 7

By RagnarLives1 - 27/11/2017 01:36 - United States - Shakopee

Today, my pregnant girlfriend who went back to England to be with her mom when she haves her baby, broke up with me without giving a reason and blocked all communications. I lost the love of my life, my unborn child and my hopes and dreams and I don't know why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 27/11/2017 07:27 - United Kingdom - Poole

Today, after 6 years, I've been diagnosed with chronic depression. The reason the diagnosis took so long was because my mother believed I was just "a miserable bastard who hates food". She was diagnosed with depression when she was my age. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 7

By Anonymous - 27/11/2017 08:19

Today, I woke up at 3am, sobbing from a nightmare and struggling to breathe. I cried out to my stepdad, begging him to call an ambulance. He ignored me until I passed out from lack of oxygen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 9

By castello - 27/11/2017 06:52

Today, my roommate fed my dog the leftover chicken. He did not know that it would give him diarrhea. Since the dog is a good boy, he did not want to shit on the floor so he pressed his ass against the wall. It did not stop him from shitting. He just ended up spraying it all over the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 6

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The Top

Today, I decided I would eat healthy in order to lose weight. Feeling powerful, I threw away all of the icecream in my freezer. An hour later, I picked the icecream carton out of the garbage and ate the entire half-melted carton. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 463

Today, I told my girlfriend about my extreme fear of flying roaches. She immediately got upset because she thought, since I'm from the Caribbean, I would be "manlier" and "eat stuff like that for breakfast". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 693

You deserved it 4 961

Today, while on Grindr, I met a guy who seemed really nice and we hit it off. After chatting for a bit, I received a message from his wife, telling me I'd better leave him alone. This isn't the first time that's happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 754

You deserved it 304

Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 372

You deserved it 3 533

Today, I posted a status on Facebook saying I was depressed and needed someone to talk to. Someone commented on it saying "Just kill yourself". It got 20 likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 695

You deserved it 16 743

Today, I was laughing at the new granite stool sculpture our work put in the office garden. I said to my colleagues for a laugh that I'd be the first to sit on it. Turns out it was a bird bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 171

You deserved it 4 517