Nearly FMLs

By DarkAngelTorra - 22/11/2017 12:39

Today, I finally asked my man why he wasn't into sex anymore after 2 years spent with me. Turns out he just honestly thinks I'm ugly, but loves me and doesn't want it to end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 9

By History Teacher - 22/11/2017 05:55

Today I handed a student back their assignment from last week. They recoiled in horror, and yelled at me for "misgendering them". They are genderfluid, and apparently did not feel the gender they did on the assignment they submitted themselves last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 5

By PizzaAnytime - 22/11/2017 03:17

Today I had to deliver 2 times the pizzas because one of our drivers quit mid shift. they are forcing me to take her hours for thanksgiving too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 8

By Andrew - 22/11/2017 01:45

Today, my friends and I nearly had a project done that's due by midnight. To summarize what happened, we all had parts to do, but apparently I'm the only one that did my part. Their "internet went out" and they asked me to finish the few slides that are left. 85% of it was incomplete. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 13

By Black Sheep - 21/11/2017 08:22 - United States - Pickerington

Today, I realized that hentai is currently appearing on my Amazon front page. I share my account with my family. I'm feeling a bit uneasy. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 36

You deserved it 62

By Anonymous - 21/11/2017 04:54 - Australia

A few months ago I was laid off work due to disability. To keep up with rent and bills I rented a room to a friend. Today I found out the reason they haven't been home in a few days is because they moved out without telling me. I now have $300+ in bills and rent due and have to pay both our shares.

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 10

By Sexless Marriage - 21/11/2017 10:25

Today my husband says he's afraid to have sex with me from fear of getting me pregnant, because we don't want kids. The whole reason I started taking birth control, along with the condoms we were already using, was to alleviate that fear so we could have more sex. We have less sex now than ever. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 8

By LoanShark - 21/11/2017 08:19

Today i finished paying off my school loan after only 8 years. Today i also had to get a dental loan because all 4 of my wisdom teeth came in crooked, and i have to get 2 molar root canals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 7

dadtoporno

By Emil - 21/11/2017 03:30

Today I told my dad that I wanted to go see a movie that had an actor I loved in it. He took me to see it and it turned out to be a porno.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 58

By Teacher7 - 20/11/2017 23:16

Today on the bus an Asian lady was coughing alot. When she was done she pulled out a clear plastic bag and spat into it. The bag was already filled with her mucus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 11

By Anonymous - 20/11/2017 21:37

Today, because my sister got pregnant from a drunk one night stand she came up with the brilliant idea of putting my name on the birth certificate instead of leaving the part saying “fathers name” blank. This is going to cause me so many headaches I just know it FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 7

By "milf4u2011" - 20/11/2017 20:00

I took my car in to the shop for an airbag recall. not even 30 minutes later the shop called. I have 5 other recalls I had no idea about. I was driving a death trap on wheels for the past 3 years with no knowledge.

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 8

By Meowz - 20/11/2017 14:25

Today, I got a message from a man I don't know telling me he has proof of my wife cheating on me. Apparently, he is her lover of one year, and he contacted me since he's hurt because she cheated on him. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 9

By Asshat - 20/11/2017 10:43

Today after 2 years of not touching my wife I decided to touch her shoulder. She pulled away and started screaming about how disgusted she is of me for only thinking about sex all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 9

By Egghead - 20/11/2017 08:38

Today, my girlfriend who is a model, continues to only take baths and put on make up when she has to go to a shoot which is once a week. She is a glamour model and makes a fair amount on looking sexy, but our sex life is down the drain. I had more sex when I was single than I do now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 15

By Birb - 19/11/2017 23:00 - United States - Little Elm

Today, I lost my only asthma inhaler(I'm severely asthmatic), broke my headphones, and found out a family member of mine has been claiming my half-written unpublished novel as his own work.

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 19/11/2017 19:47 - United States - Irving

Today, I walked in on my sister having sex with her 18 year-old boyfriend. She's 15. They were also doing it on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 14

By anonymous - 19/11/2017 20:56

Today, I asked my boyfriend to have sex with me. He replied with “Let’s get this over with.” FML.

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 8

By "jellybeanjones" - 19/11/2017 20:39

Today I decided to get a tattoo of my mom's name. I was told that the person who would do it was a beginner at the tattoo shop, and I would be his offfical first client there. I was like, oh yeah of course he can do my tattoo what could go wrong. He spelt my mom's name wrong! FML.

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 64

By acmariner99 - 19/11/2017 20:36

Today, my narcissistic bitch of a mother did nothing but yell at me, crying about how much we are hurting her in front of a large group of family and friends. We are moving because I got my dream job and can finally afford to buy a house. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 5

By Not amused - 19/11/2017 17:38 - Germany - Munich

Today I found out everytime my sister is mad at me she goes to the bathroom and spits on my toothbrush. She has been doing that for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 10

By anonymous - 19/11/2017 12:32 - Brazil - S?o Paulo

Today I found out that the giant knot in my back is in fact a fractured rib. I just started rowing for a new club, and won't be able to row for the next two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 19/11/2017 11:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I missed the last bus and live about an hour's walk from the city, so called a guy I've been seeing to crash at his. Three hours later, I had to sneak out of his house before my ex, who lives there too, woke up. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 27

You deserved it 56

By huntergirl - 19/11/2017 09:56

Today the man I love got engaged to someone else. I would be happy for him hadn’t we been planning our engagement & asked my family for permission (who said yes) a week before he got engaged to someone he had never meet or spoke to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 3

By hanaRedcrown - 19/11/2017 09:56

Today, my mother pointed to the unframed, but certified and signed, limited edition animal paintings, which I got for doing a job for a rich friend when I was jobless and broke, and said "You should sell those, they aren't really your taste anyway." I gave them to her for Christmas last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 11

By "dm_78" - 19/11/2017 08:46

Today I had to drive 2h to give a presentation. When I got there, my assistent realized she had forgoten to bring the pen-drive that held the entire content and, when attempting to wing it, I then noticed my computer had fried on the drive over.

I agree, your life sucks 32

You deserved it 31

By Andrew98 - 19/11/2017 07:38

Today I took my wife Swing Dancing, which I hate and am terrible at, so was happy when she said it was fine if I stayed in the bar while she dancing the night away upstairs. Several drinks and hours later I find her alone with some guy in the empty blues room and they were no longer dancing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 31

By Julie - 19/11/2017 05:22

Today, the mother of my new boyfriend showed up at his place. He hadn't bothered telling me in advance. After he welcomed her, he jumped in the shower without me. I gathered my courage and went to the living room, with sex hair and wrinkled clothes, to meet her. She didn't know of my existence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 13

By Wayne - 19/11/2017 04:12

Today I took a laxative because I felt backed up for some reason. Well I didn't feel a thing until 3 hours later in the middle of Safeway buying beer and pizza. 1 hour later. Still on the toilet in Safeway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 23

By R.I.P Krusty Krap - 19/11/2017 00:07

Today, I heard my son crying. He is 15 years old, and from what I hear from his friends he is "tough" so I went to check on him, braced to hear news of a breakup or something similar. What I got instead was news of the tragic death of his pet fish. On a computer game. Its name? Krusty Krap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 12

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was helping my elderly landlady (75 years old) carry in her groceries. She said "Thanks" and then handed me a notice of eviction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 569

You deserved it 5 293

Today, after calling my bank to see where my paycheck was, and waiting on hold for my entire lunch break, my boss told me she forgot to submit my deposit. I was relying on that money to pay for lunch today as I used all I had for bills. Looks like I eat tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 713

You deserved it 1 154

Today, I was watching a movie on my chair. I leaned back on the back of the chair and kept leaning back. Then I slowly fell down with my chair, onto the floor. It made a big noise, but nobody was hurt, it was just really absurd, like I'd watched another episode of Mr. Bean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 345

Today, I accidentally unmuted my mic during a class, and normally it would've just been silence, but dumb old me just had to sing a song at the top of my lungs, and I only stopped when my phone blew up with notifications. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 1 180

Today, I had to make up a boyfriend to stop my lesbian roommate coming onto me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 315

You deserved it 6 658

Today, I was checking out my boyfriend's facebook profile. I saw that he had just taken the "How long will it take for your girldriend to realize you're cheating on her?" Quiz. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 384

You deserved it 5 784