Nearly FMLs

By CamBam - 18/12/2017 15:27

Today, I walked into school with pajamas on, because of our school webcast, they said it was pajama day today. Turns out, pajama day is actually tomorrow, and nobody is wearing pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 42

By whyyyyme - 14/12/2017 16:23 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I finished wrapping Christmas presents in the nice wrapping paper I had purchased before my pay cut. I just realized I forgot to cut off all the clearance price tags on all the gifts. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 63

By Jess - 14/12/2017 08:36

Today I dropped a lit cigarette while driving. It's cool though, I caught it. With my thighs. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 168

By Robert - 14/12/2017 02:06

Today, I got the score for a paper on communism back in my college writing class: 45%. It turns out that not only was the USSR not communist, but apparently The National Socialist Party of Germany wasn't socialist either. When I confronted the teacher, he gave me a Communist Manifesto. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 47

By Anonymous - 13/12/2017 17:49 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I decided to clean the "kitchen" of my bachelor/studio apartment. There was a smoothie that I had neglected for about a week (gross) and when I picked it up to dump it, it slipped out of my hand, fell on the floor, and splashed on 3 of 4 walls, my bed, clothes, new shoes, and myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 157

By Why_The_Fuq - 13/12/2017 18:22 - United States - Newnan

Today, I got my PSAT scores back. 1280, in the top 10%... how does my mother react? “You’re an unreliable lazy person because you focus so much on school you act like you don’t have time for a job!”..... No one will call me back for an interview and I’ve applied to 15+ places.... FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 12

By Truffle - 13/12/2017 07:26

Today I got a new baby setting gig.Turns out it for a five year old vegan girl in a minimalist house being raised gender-less who is not aloud to express material "wants" to even the most basic questions ex: do you want food , do you want to go outside. I get to do this twice a week until June. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 16

By beybmoo - 13/12/2017 13:07 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, one month fresh into my new job, after working hard to be confirmed in the job so that I can get full salary, I was told by my colleague that everyone dislikes me in the company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 14

By Anonymous - 13/12/2017 05:22

Today, we were given a new seating plan at work. Our names were put in our places with post it notes. I wanted to sit next to the guy I like so I secretly switched some of the names so he would be sitting next to me instead of another guy. He ditched to sit elsewhere. No one sits next to me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 106

By "Bitchney1992" - 13/12/2017 03:52

Today I caught the flu which would be fine if I hadn't just had stomach surgery the other day. When I cough I throw up from it hurting my stomach so badly. It literally hurts to be alive. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 12/12/2017 22:25

Today, my mom offered to take me to a restaurant for my birthday dinner, since I have no one to go with. She also took her boyfriend along. I felt like the third wheel on a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 14

By Badday - 12/12/2017 17:53

Today, at work I tried to remove the cap of the superglue with my mouth. There was no cap, and I ended up with a mouthful of superglue. The best part of my day was when my boss lent me his toothbrush so I could "clean out my mouth". FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 107

By cammi - 12/12/2017 16:33 - Bulgaria - Gabrovo

Today I found the Xmas present from my parents: apparently they think a cheap plastic hairbrush, a 1 dollar nail polish and a Made in China nail care kit is a great present. Meanwhile, I received their presents via DHL today: Armani fragrance in 100 ml bottle for each of them. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 44

By DinoRexaurus - 12/12/2017 15:00

Today, I asked my art teacher why she gave me a 10 on a project, thinking it might’ve been a mistake. She told me I deserved it since I laughed while presenting. My friend got an 80 and he didn’t even present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 679

You deserved it 321

AlyCo55 tells us more.

AlyCo55 13

Saturday 14 July 2018 12:21

i’m the op, lost my account, my friend finished his in 5 seconds he didn’t try in the slightest, not to mention it’s also a requirement to present

By yourstruly - 12/12/2017 11:39

Today, was the last day of finals for me. When I was leaving class the professor came up to me and inform me on how much of a terrible job I did on my last paper. Told me it's okay, and it won't be in the grade book since "English is not your first language.". I'm majoring in english. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 36

By CreepyCreepyCreepy - 12/12/2017 20:53 - Australia - South Yarra

Today, my daughter's friend came over with her dad. I had the unfortunate pleasure of making polite small talk over coffee with this man, who leered at me the whole time like a starving hyena looks at a steak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 11

By "novdestiny" - 12/12/2017 17:16 - Australia - Canberra

Today I'm so broke that I'm resorting to selling books. At least I would be if I had enough gas money to get me to the 2nd hand book store. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 13

By unplannedparenthood - 12/12/2017 02:42

Today, I finally broke my 5 month dry spell. Too bad the condom broke too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 24

By Anonymous - 12/12/2017 00:50

Today...I had an allergic reaction to my new lip balm. I now have a huge blister right in the middle of my bottom lip. 3 people have already asked me if I have herpes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 10

By Anonymous - 11/12/2017 15:12 - United States - Las Vegas

I sat down for my final exam, I've been fighting a nasty cold all weekend.\n\nDuring the exam I sneezed so hard that I couldn't cover it in time. I watched in horror as a big, thick, green, glob nail the neck of the guy sitting in front of me and slid down his collar.

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 20

By ash-ley - 11/12/2017 21:04

Today I found out my boyfriend has a smoking fetish by losing a bet. Guess who gets to spend her Saturday smoking cigarettes in her sexiest underwear while he watches? This girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 68

By Anonymous - 11/12/2017 20:44

A few days ago, I went to an ultra-religious friend’s wedding. When I congratulated the newly wedded couple, he said he wishes I would find a good and loving husband. I am a lesbian in a relationship with a women for almost a year and he knows it.

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 20

By LittleSnowglobe - 11/12/2017 20:30

Today, my boss let everyone leave an our and a half early because of the beyond terrible snow-weather. It only took me an hour to dig my car free out of the foot and a half of snow, and another 3 hours to finally get home. Usually this is a 45 minute trip. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 12

By lonelygirl - 11/12/2017 10:26 - Austria - Graz

Today, I ran into my ex after not seeing him since we've broken up 5 years ago. He was the love of my life, but he left me as he didn't want to have kids as I did at that time. He apparently has two kids now and is happily married. I'm still single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 18

By Bad Romance - 11/12/2017 07:12

Today, I decided to treat myself and ordered a large chicken pizza. The pizza was delivered 1 hour later than the scheduled time and was missing the chicken. The company refused to do anything about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 11

By hazardpay - 10/12/2017 23:41

Today an old woman had a diarrhea attack at the store I was in and shat a trail all the way to the bathroom. I was the worker that had to clean it up. ....FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 11

By I'mABalloon - 10/12/2017 19:32 - Australia - South Yarra

Today, I found out why I still have extremely painful bloating, even after not having lactose for over a year. I'm intolerant of the soy milk I replaced it with! I was in less pain with cow's milk! FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 16

By Mike - 10/12/2017 04:33

Today, I tried to buy a homeless person a bottle of water. My card was declined. FML..

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 13

By Anonymous - 09/12/2017 19:06 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I got called by my boss for not showing up to work. Confused, I told her I wasn't scheduled to work today. Her response: "I sent you a picture of your schedule this week." The schedule was for next week, and I was told my job is on the line for this. My aunt is my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 13

By kel - 09/12/2017 20:51 - United States

Today while at work giving my dementia resident his medication he told me I looked like a caveman, that would be tender with other men. I'm a lady... FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 11

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 352

You deserved it 4 031

Today, I found out that instead of having four wisdom teeth, I have eight. They all have to be removed as soon as possible, which happens to be over the Christmas break. I get to spend my whole vacation in excruciating pain and a swollen face to boot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 835

You deserved it 3 277

Today, my sister made her engagement official on Facebook. When I shared the post to spread the word, people didn't read her boyfriend's name, and I started getting questions on why my sister and I were getting married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 560

You deserved it 337

Today, my boyfriend and I went to taste some wine with some friends. I drank a little too much and referred to him as my brother to a random guy. Let’s just say I put a strain on my relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 689

Today, I discovered that my abusive, obsessive, psychotic ex-boyfriend from over two years ago still has a thing for me. How did I find out? Although I've ignored him walking unnecessarily past my house for the past two months, it was hard to ignore when he fell from a tree outside my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 798

You deserved it 2 897

Today, I had to go through the embarrassment and pain of telling my parents I was pregnant. I took the test and it came out positive and I was freaking out. I got grounded for the rest of the year and they're really disappointed in me. Five minutes ago, I got my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 900

You deserved it 29 926