Nearly FMLs

By DArK DUdE - 05/12/2017 05:13

Today I watched my gf make a sims world where her and her "friend" are husband and wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 7

By Dani - 05/12/2017 05:05

Today my boyfriend found out that I use his shower towel as my cum towel after sex... today I also found out that he uses my shower towel when we run out of toilet paper... FML

I agree, your life sucks 27

You deserved it 112

By awkwardteen - 05/12/2017 02:16

Today, my younger sister was allowed to go out with her friends even though she threw a huge fit yesterday, including punching the wall and threatening to move out. Meanwhile, I got in trouble the other day for moving a spoon. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 11

By Anonymous - 05/12/2017 02:14

Today my dog decided he was going to go play with the cows in the field beside my house.. after calling back home I find that a cow has taken a huge dump on my dog. it only took 4 washes to get him back to his original color which is white... fml

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 05/12/2017 00:37

Today I finally got the news that my landlord will replace my mattress which sags. Sadly, I have to wait for several months. I have back pain and haven't slept well for weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 9

By Anonymous - 05/12/2017 00:01 - South Africa

Today , my life has reached the point where , after taking a shower (because the bath doesn't work) I need to air out my towel to make sure there are no cockroaches in it before I can even use it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 16

By FutureEngineer - 04/12/2017 13:42 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I had to explain to my Intro to Biology professor that no, there is no blood type 'C'. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 8

By two2blue - 04/12/2017 19:30

Today, we ran loud industrial fans to deal with a flooded ground floor. I was snoozing peacefully in the quiet car in the garage when my mom woke me up at 2 am yelling and crying because me sleeping in the car embarrassed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 158

You deserved it 335

two2blue tells us more.

two2blue 28

Friday 1 December 2017 22:23

OP here. Nope, car was off, car window and garage window both slightly open. She thought sleepimg in the car was "trashy".

By ram ranch really rocks! - 04/12/2017 19:02

Today, I was airdropping just random shit to everyone in my class. My teacher must have turned on her airdrop because she asked the whole class who sent her a picture of a half-naked cowboy in a tanktop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32

You deserved it 98

By INeedANewJob - 04/12/2017 10:00 - United States

Today, when I showed them a project I'd completed ahead of schedule, my surprised Associate Director and Division Director said, "Oh, we went with something else because we didn't know you were working on that." They assigned it to me. I work for idiots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 696

You deserved it 148

By Anonymous - 04/12/2017 18:41

Today was my birthday. At my place of work, we all sign birthday cards for the person's birthday and place it on their desk. Since my birthday is the last one of the year, I've signed everyone else's in our 5 person office...I got no card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 6

By stoner - 04/12/2017 15:45

Today, a nearby skunk farted and it's scent managed to sneak through the open window in my bathroom. My mom came in and thinks i've been smoking weed. I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 9

By Dan - 04/12/2017 11:59

Today, I had a checkup to have a docor clean and review a wart-removal surgery I had on my finger last week. My fingernail is dead and needs to be removed, my fingerpad is numb due to a damaged nerve, and the wart is already growing back. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 7

By "axon Impulse" - 04/12/2017 03:17 - United States - Shreveport

Today, after accepting my offer on my new dream job, I got a phone call explaining that there was some administrative confusion and my position was dissolved. I already quit my other job and they've already replaced me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 10

By LiliDS - 04/12/2017 01:13

Today, I quit my job, left friends and my city to move in with my boyfriend on the other side of the world. I got dumped the moment I arrived. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 14

By z guy - 03/12/2017 23:57

Today... I finally replaced my car which I had owned for a week before it was totaled by Hurricane Harvey. While driving it home after three hours I made it to my house and promptly hydroplaned into the neighbors yard and totaled my second car... FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 22

By Lefty - 03/12/2017 19:04

Today I was feeling a little queasy after having surgery on my wrist, so I decided to lay down for a nap with my dog. I later woke up to the smell of vomit, but it wasn't mine. I had to stuff the dog-puke covered blankets into the washing machine one-handed. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 9

By anonym - 03/12/2017 18:19 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I woke up needing to pee badly. But my roommate was blocking the bathroom. When I couldn't wait any longer, I went to the public bathroom at the dorm only wearing my pyjamas. Multiple people saw me. My roomie left the bathroom two hours later. I have to live with her for three more years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 11

By Anonymous - 03/12/2017 17:58

Today, I got an email saying I'm qualified for a job I applied for a few months ago, but that they still weren't going to interview me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 4

By Anon - 03/12/2017 05:12 - United States - Fairbanks

Today I realized that despite losing weight, figuring out fashion, and being involved in community clubs and hobbies....it's been nearly four years since a guy has shown interest me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 9

By Single struggle - 03/12/2017 14:06

Today, I realize how single and lonely I am after crying uncontrollably when watching Fifty Shades of Grey at home. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 11

By Welp - 03/12/2017 12:54

Today I found out that I have high cholesterol levels. I've been vegan for close to 10 years. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 45

By "Caci Johnson" - 03/12/2017 06:26

While visiting NYC, my feet were killing me after walking around the city for 8 hours, so I decided to sit down for a little while. A few minutes later, I was approached by a couple gentleman who had thrown change in my lap. Apparently, they thought I was homeless.

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 9

By Wellllthen - 03/12/2017 06:14

Today after 3 years of marriage, my husband tells me he is not ready to settle down and wants to play the field. I moved states away from my friends and family for him and just started a new job. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 10

By "Ryuuchild666" - 03/12/2017 01:55

Today, I do the laundry for a hotel. My coworker who works overnight has been telling me to leave her towels to fold so she has something to do at night, has now complained that I have been leaving her to much to do. This is the same woman who refuses to do sheets cause they are "too heavy"...FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 6

By Broken_glass - 03/12/2017 00:44

Today my friend and I had a heated argument. He was so upset that he punched my window and shattered the glass everywhere. I now have a huge gaping hole. It's winter, and I live in Canada. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 8

By BoredStudent87 - 03/12/2017 00:25

Today I had to go to the hospital. While there, I discovered I have mono and won't be able to get out of bed for the next week. My teachers refuse to give me extensions and expect me to hand in all of my homework for the next week on Monday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 8

By sad Mom - 02/12/2017 22:24

Today my dad berated me almost to the point of tears. I was called a bad mother told I was raising my daughter all wrong and that I would regret her lifestyle in years to come. Why? My two year old wasn’t wearing clothes in the living room. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 15

By Anonymous - 02/12/2017 21:30

Today, while I was at the doctor's office with my first grader for his unending high fever, the school was frantically trying to reach me to tell me about my fourth grader's concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 9

By Narci96 - 02/12/2017 13:21 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, for the first time ever, I was complimented on my brown eyes by the guy I have a crush on: "Your eyes look like wood. But not like regular wood, you know, more like rotten, dead wood." FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 4

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my dad and I got into an argument. When I was proven wrong, he said, "Good job, genius." I shot back the first thing that popped into my head, which was "I am NOT a genius!" He laughed and says that if I die before him, he's having that engraved on my tombstone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 526

You deserved it 14 393

Today, my dad asked me if I needed crayons for school. I'm going to college this fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 372

You deserved it 225

Today, a notification from Tinder popped up on my girlfriend's phone, saying, "Congratulations, you have a new match." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 801

You deserved it 2 373

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 071

You deserved it 9 052

Today, I'm no longer allowed to work the drive-thru at my job, because over the weekend, 3 dumbasses I go to school with came in and complained to my manager, saying I sounded a creepy pervert and that it scared them enough to take their business elsewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 490

You deserved it 1 985

Today, the elderly lady I work for got mad at me, all because I wouldn't feed her imaginary friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 056

You deserved it 1 374