Nearly FMLs

By guess not - 14/02/2018 23:03

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to be intimate for the first time on Valentine's Day. When we got started, we discovered that we had both started our periods. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 13

By Yikesberg - 14/02/2018 22:08

Today, I accidentally sent a message to my father that was meant for a friend. The message said that I’m classifying us as friends with benefits now. I want to die, worst Valentine’s Day ever! FML

I agree, your life sucks 29

You deserved it 50

By min - 14/02/2018 14:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he felt disgusted to be called my boyfriend. It's Valentine's Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 8

Kid can't look me in Eye

By Ronnel - 14/02/2018 19:54

Today, me and my husband decided we'd finally go meet our new neighbors. We knocked on the door and their son answers, gets a grin from eye to eye, and spends the rest of the evening staring at me. After a tour their house, I realized our blindless window is right across from their son's window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 54

By Anonymous - 14/02/2018 11:23 - United States - Union

Today, my sister told my parents, she has been going to therapy. My dad was surprised that it wasn't me in therapy. When I asked why, he said, "Because you cut your own hair when you were a kid". FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 3

By "TheBraveLittleToaster116" - 14/02/2018 16:19

Today, I had a pretty bad panic attack and I started hearing voices and breathing really heavily. I went to get a glass of ginger ale because it helps me calm down, but my mom decided, since my breathing annoyed her, that it would be logical to dump the 2-liter of ginger ale down the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 1

By Moira - 14/02/2018 15:00

Today, one of my customers, a rather attractive looking young man, smiled and handed me a gift: one single dog treat. Happy Valentine's!. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 4

By SirFapsalot - 14/02/2018 12:02

Today, it's Valentine's Day. I'm 23 and have never had a girlfriend or even a kiss. I got a hug once. This shit's depressing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 6

By Sweet pea - 14/02/2018 11:27

Today, I came home from work got a Valentine’s Day card & Flowers from my boyfriend. As I went to thank him his phone goes off where a girl sent him “Happy Valentine’s Day” and then I saw where he sent a sad song to his ex wife and a few personal texts back and forth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 5

By Not so lucky - 14/02/2018 11:19

Today, I have to fulfil my boyfriend's Valentine's day wishes since he treated me to the most romantic dinner last year. His wishes were simple: "Make me a home cooked dinner, don't speak while I'm playing online chess and don't bother me for sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 20

By Anonymous - 14/02/2018 02:13 - New Zealand

Today I anonymously gave my crush a flower for Valentine's day, he then proceeded to say he didn't want it and give it to one of his female friends FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 9

By I'mLovingIt? - 14/02/2018 00:19 - United States - Round Rock

Today, I got my boyfriend black panther tickets and a theatre exclusive poster as his valentines day gift. He hasn't done anything but hand me a mcdouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 4

By Anonymous - 14/02/2018 06:07

Today my boyfriend was going down on me... and then stopped suddenly he came up asking if I would like help shaving the hair around my vagina that I haven’t been able to reach or see clearly... FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 15

By NotSoQuickDraw - 14/02/2018 05:58

Today, I decided to rub one out while I had the house to myself. The only computer in the house is in the living room, easily visible from the front door, so I made sure to lock that. Turns out I can't turn off the porn & pull up my pants faster than my brother's girlfriend can unlock the door! FML

I agree, your life sucks 40

You deserved it 71

By Anonymous - 14/02/2018 05:30

Today, my girlfriend of about 7 months didn’t wish me a happy valentines day. Turns out we broke up 4 months ago and she never told me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 18

By Anonymous - 14/02/2018 05:02

Today, my roommate is watching the Angry Birds movie unironically and describing it shot for shot by shouting across the house. He is 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 4

By Dopey - 14/02/2018 03:07

Today, on my way to work, I stopped to get coffee. On my way out I decided to hold the door for a lady walking in. As soon as I let go of the door, the cap snapped off and fell to the ground and spilled all over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 3

By Anonymous - 14/02/2018 03:04

Today, 30 minutes before my first date (I haven't been on a date for a whole year) I am currently glued to the toilet with fierce diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 4

By "sweetbliss3" - 14/02/2018 02:43

Today, my date threw a condom at me within the first 5 minutes of hanging out, and then scrolled through porn for 10 minutes before deciding to tell me he's into tranny porn. This was our second date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 9

By Anonymous - 13/02/2018 19:32 - United States - Omaha

Today, I broke my phone. How? By drunkenly slamming it on my own knee, I didn't even realize till a few minutes later when I went to go use it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21

You deserved it 68

By autismmumhun - 14/02/2018 02:18

Today, yet once again, my autistic son was excluded from fun class activities. So now I have to write "to my friend" on all of his valentines because the teacher never bothered to send home a class list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 10

Not what he asked for...

By LadderClimber - 14/02/2018 02:09

Today, After a boyish evening of drink and debauchery, my higher ups agreed that they saw a bright future in this young male recruit. After I drove home the senior of the two asked me to message him a pic I took with our hot waitress... he received a steamy nude instead. Don't drink and text people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17

You deserved it 70

By "MelissaaAnnee" - 13/02/2018 16:49 - United States - Portland

Today... I found messages between my mom and my sister saying that I'm a bitch and they don't want me in their homes because I always have a negative attitude if I don't get attention or things don't go my way. All I ever try to do is make my mom proud of me, I guess that's too much to ask for.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 19

Valentines Not

By Bob - 13/02/2018 23:18

Today, this Valentines day, I woke to a bench full of rose petals and piles of presents. Only the rose petals were actually ants and the presents were actually dirty dishes everywhere.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 30

By Anonymous - 13/02/2018 22:42

Today my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me, the day before Valentine's day, after I bought her a gift, now I'm out of a girlfriend, $100, and a date to prom in 2 months, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 5

By "Michaela R" - 13/02/2018 15:22 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, my mother looked at me, and without a hint of humor in her voice said, "You'd be really pretty if you were skinny, you know what I mean?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 9

By Sick of People - 13/02/2018 21:04

Today, at my job as a tooth whitening tech, some woman expected to be seen without having an appointment booked. There was no room for her and she never could find the confirmation that she "knew" was sent to her. She then pitched a fit and called me a racist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 2

By Anonymous - 13/02/2018 03:06 - United States - Waterloo

Today, I called 911 like my mother told me to because she thought she was having a stroke. As soon as I got off the phone, she yelled at me and kicked me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 2

By Mjskywalk - 13/02/2018 00:12 - United States - Denver

Today, my 18 month old daughter threw an epic tantrum at the museum. I was holding her while she thrashed when someone told me “you shouldn’t treat your baby that way.” I was a mom-shamed by a 5 year old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 10

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The Top

My long-distance partner came to visit me for the weekend. When he arrived he seemed moody and tired, and refused any kind of physical contact. Upset, I asked him what was wrong. Turns out he's mad for coming to see me because I've put on weight, making the trip a waste of his time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 653

You deserved it 494

Today, I spent three and a half hours creating a Wikipedia page for myself. Three minutes after publishing, it was deleted due to me being a "Non-notable person nobody's ever heard of." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 329

You deserved it 56 223

Today, I have never been more disgusted at my daughter. She was on her phone and almost walked in front of a bus, until a man with some kind of facial disfigurement pulled her back. She called the poor man a "freak" and not to touch her, and he started crying. I'm ashamed to think she is mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 897

You deserved it 482

Today, I was driving home from school when I saw this girl I like walking home. Trying to be polite, I pulled over and asked if she wanted a ride. My offer was rejected as she said, "No, I'm actually already home," and walked up the nearest driveway. My driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 232

You deserved it 7 018

Today, at nearly 9 months pregnant, I came home to find the nursery that had been set up was now completely stripped of everything. My husband was angry at me for not forgiving him for getting another woman pregnant at the same time, so he took everything from the room and gave it to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 756

You deserved it 90

Today, it was dad’s funeral and I intended to speak but I was crying so much I couldn’t finish and mom had to help me back to my seat. Unfortunately, most of our family are arseholes and I could hear someone saying, “Disgraceful, shaming his dad like that.” It was the worst day of my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 116