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Today, I went to dinner to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I received a text message, so I pulled out my phone to check. Apparently, his parents have a "No phone at the table rule" and took my phone away until I can learn "proper table manners." FML

#18542598
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16310) - you deserved it (42145)

On 12/18/2011 at 4:59am - misc - by grounded - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on my way home from work and decided to stop at the grocery store. I purchased $200 in groceries and went to put them in my car. I then realized I drove my motorcycle today. FML

#916470
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16308) - you deserved it (81967)

On 04/11/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was jacking off casually to a picture of my ex-girlfriend, when all of the sudden, my friend sends me an IM picture of a granny bending over which pops up on my screen. I think my sex life is ruined forever. FML

#539
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16304) - you deserved it (27077)

On 12/17/2008 at 11:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I fell flat on my ass while running for the subway. Made it on only to find out that it was standing by for ten minutes. I then got to ride all the way to work with a train full of people who watched me fall. FML

#3586
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16302) - you deserved it (2776)

On 01/30/2009 at 6:30am - work - by Weter - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while out at dinner with my boyfriend, I accidentally ripped out my tampon picking a wedgie. FML

#20017935
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16298) - you deserved it (15342)

On 08/13/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by brooke - United States

Today, I decided to run outside. I noticed a really hot guy mowing his lawn. I ran a couple of laps past him. After a while, when I slowed down, I smiled at him, and he replied You look really hot." I thanked him, and he quickly replied, "No, I mean you're sweating a lot." FML

#1505270
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16297) - you deserved it (46954)

On 04/30/2009 at 8:52pm - love - by Eli123 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, as my girlfriend and I were finishing up a romantic dinner, she gazed into my eyes for a moment and said, "You know, sometimes you look like a character from Sesame Street." FML

#20153942
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16296) - you deserved it (1725)

On 11/07/2012 at 6:48pm - misc - by derve - United States

Today, the only guy who I ever thought liked me for my personality said he had something important to tell me. Later I got an e-mail from him saying he is "worried about me because I lack the skills to get along with other people." FML

#2741
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16288) - you deserved it (2548)

On 01/26/2009 at 8:32pm - love - by kai - United States (California)

Today, my dad's boss called our house and I answered. He said "is your dad home?" I replied "I'll go check." I put the phone on mute and asked my dad if he wanted to talk to his boss. My dad says "Does that asshole not have a life?" Turns out the phone wasn't on mute, it was on speaker. FML

#3935367
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16284) - you deserved it (37317)

On 07/21/2009 at 5:54pm - misc - by jtaylor94 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to talk to this hot guy in my law school contracts class. His response? "I'm no fashion expert, but I don't think you're supposed to wear purple underwear with white pants. Not that it matters, though, because your zipper is wide open." FML

#10604830
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16277) - you deserved it (34125)

On 05/18/2010 at 1:22am - love - by Dana422 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML

#15105515
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16274) - you deserved it (46284)

On 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by verasam01 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, one of my cousins offered to sell me his mac for a low price. When I got it, I realized it was an old toshiba painted white with an apple sticker on it. My cousin still insists it's a mac. FML

#12612052
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16272) - you deserved it (27623)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:53pm - misc - by roflcopter (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML

#2236513
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16264) - you deserved it (57451)

On 05/24/2009 at 9:44am - misc - by burned (woman) - United States (South Carolina)



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