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Today, I witnessed my dad rummage through his nostrils, thoughtfully examine the contents, and flick them nonchalantly onto the carpet. All of this he did with the biggest demented grin on his face. Sadly, this has become a regular occurrence. FML

#21313940
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25201) - you deserved it (2393)

On 12/08/2014 at 6:08pm - misc - by blech (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that one of my best mates had his backpack, clothes, and everything else in it stolen at an airport overseas. I was feeling sorry for him all day. It took me 9 hours to remember that I actually loaned him my backpack for his trip. FML

#12875277
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25197) - you deserved it (7032)

On 09/02/2010 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I walked into two things. The first was a spiderweb. The second, due to blind panic, was oncoming traffic. FML

#19072252
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25195) - you deserved it (5511)

On 02/14/2012 at 7:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well performed dive of the diving board, I go up and attempt my best dive. I slip just as I jump and hit my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML

#464329
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25194) - you deserved it (53964)

On 03/19/2009 at 11:47am - love - by Fish (man) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I bought a new Siamese Fighting Fish. I was so happy with my new fish so I bought him an expensive lovely bowl, some weeds, and a toy for the bowl. I left the room to get the fish food. When I returned, the fish was gone, and the cat was sitting on the table. FML

#7156586
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25194) - you deserved it (8889)

On 01/05/2010 at 12:15am - animals - by bels12 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I asked my husband if he knew what day it was. His answer was, "garbage day?" It's our six-year anniversary. FML

#19987123
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25194) - you deserved it (3371)

On 07/27/2012 at 10:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was singing along to my favorite song when a giant bug flew into my mouth. I was so shocked I almost swallowed it. After I was done freaking out, my sister wanted to throw the bug a big funeral for its "heroic sacrifice" in shutting me up. FML

#21450341
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25194) - you deserved it (6124)

On 08/01/2015 at 4:29am - animals - by funnnyyyyy -_- (woman) - Nepal

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs. The guy behind me was kind enough to ask if I was okay. He then called his friends over so they could laugh at me. FML

#14576368
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25193) - you deserved it (2870)

On 01/14/2011 at 9:18am - misc - by ValeyFallsAlot -

Today, my friend and I were trying out a site on which you talk to strangers using a mic and webcam. We came across a cute guy, who said to my friend, "Tell the fat guy to move." He was referring to me. I'm a girl. FML

Today, I found my cat who's been missing for three days, sitting inside my neighbor's window. He won't answer the door. FML

Today, I went with my friend door-to-door selling chocolates. We went to the first house, and the guy decided to buy a chocolate from each of us. He didn't have change and neither did we, so he just took the chocolates and slammed the door in our face. FML

#18548047
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25188) - you deserved it (6735)

On 12/18/2011 at 8:52pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to Safeway. The security guard wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. When I confronted him about it he told me that they looked fake and he was making sure I didn't stuff my bra with stolen items. FML

#19725175
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25187) - you deserved it (4669)

On 06/03/2012 at 3:45am - misc - by ilovezim29 - United States (California)

Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML

#20633236
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25185) - you deserved it (44947)

On 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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