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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I spent my entire paycheck on a new summer wardrobe. I then left my shopping bags on the train. FML

#19925066
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14443) - you deserved it (32732)

On 07/11/2012 at 8:02pm - money - by Ashley - United States (New York)

Today, I noticed that I've gained so much weight that even my feet have stretch marks. FML

#11824802
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14433) - you deserved it (45219)

On 07/12/2010 at 3:52am - health - by fat - United States

Today, a month after my 21st birthday, I received my health exam results. I don't remember the night of the birthday because I was hammered. However, I called my friend and it's now clear that the stripper they paid to have her way with me, had Chlamydia. FML

#14545291
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14430) - you deserved it (30782)

On 01/11/2011 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my daughter had a meltdown when I told her I donated some of her old toys to Goodwill. It turns out Toy Story has taught her that toys have feelings and that she has a meaningful relationship with them. She's in her teens. FML

#20167023
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14429) - you deserved it (22854)

On 11/17/2012 at 5:31pm - kids - by susan (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was using Veet instead of shaving, so that the razor wouldn't cut up my legs. I cut myself with the plastic utensil that you're supposed to use to remove the Veet. FML

#10683891
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14406) - you deserved it (21449)

On 05/22/2010 at 3:03am - health - by knickedleg - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was taking care of a friend's hamster. Thinking the hamster wanted to make a bed, I put some cotton balls in his cage so he would be comfy. He promptly ate them and died. FML

#12781273
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14401) - you deserved it (36274)

On 08/28/2010 at 12:56am - animals - by Kelli (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a job interview. The person giving me my interview was late, and while waiting for them I fell asleep. When they arrived, they didn't even bother interviewing me because they thought I was irresponsible since I fell asleep because they were late. FML

#12552420
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14401) - you deserved it (44080)

On 08/16/2010 at 1:17am - work - by nocanhaz - United States (New York)

Today, after suggesting to my daughter for a while that she should try out for a cheerleading team to become more confident, she went to tryouts. She didn't make the team and she's spent the last six hours in her room crying. FML

#11541731
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14399) - you deserved it (40371)

On 06/29/2010 at 1:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML

#2645641
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14395) - you deserved it (39890)

On 06/05/2009 at 10:22pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML

#20580770
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14395) - you deserved it (35775)

On 04/08/2013 at 3:20pm - misc - by nosey (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, I found out there's a Harry Potter club at my school. My boyfriend is in it. FML

#6459565
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14384) - you deserved it (36820)

On 11/26/2009 at 6:50am - misc - by harrypottermuch (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to clear up some storm damage. I carefully cut a tree that was threatening to fall on my house. It fell on my neighbor's house instead. He's taking me to court for damages. FML

#12365331
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14375) - you deserved it (31571)

On 08/07/2010 at 2:04am - misc - by Zinfandel (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML

#14000546
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14370) - you deserved it (38483)

On 11/27/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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