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Today, I had to renew my driver's license at the DMV. Earlier, I was in a play and was still covered in stage makeup. I didn't realize that not all of it had come off until after my picture was taken and put on my new license. For the next three years, I'll be the guy with the dark eyeliner. FML

#18247557
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22236) - you deserved it (8190)

On 11/14/2011 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom was feeling down because of her gray hairs. In an attempt to cheer her up, I suggested that she dye them. Her hair turned orange. FML

#18569978
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22233) - you deserved it (4939)

On 12/21/2011 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out the tattoo signifying my marriage turned out to be more permanent than the marriage itself. FML

#1933691
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22232) - you deserved it (56842)

On 05/14/2009 at 3:57pm - love - by branded (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while setting up for a party I was having, I put black lights into our bathroom for the cool bright, neon color you get when you pee. When I turn them on to see where I need to continue cleaning, I see many, small, yellow hand prints on the walls. I have a nine year old brother. FML

#13660294
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22233) - you deserved it (2773)

On 10/31/2010 at 5:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know..." FML

#19867200
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22231) - you deserved it (3215)

On 06/29/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by friend (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML

#1600117
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22230) - you deserved it (131797)

On 05/03/2009 at 5:05pm - misc - by htothecr (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my mom realized we have been sharing tooth brushes because they are similar colors. I told her it doesn't really matter since we're mother and daughter. She responded by saying that she loves me, but she has no idea where my mouth has been, and she doesn't want my diseases. Thanks mom. FML

#13383156
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22230) - you deserved it (9628)

On 10/09/2010 at 8:47pm - health - by nikki (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was standing at the top of the stairs petting my dog. The doorbell rang and my dog bolted down the stairs, tripping me. I fell down the whole flight of stairs backwards. Turns out the person at the door was my brother who had locked himself out. I almost died for no reason. FML

#8118993
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22228) - you deserved it (4474)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:14am - love - by sari14 - United States (Virginia)

Today, my friends and I planned to go to a waterpark together. However, due to a "miscommunication," I, and only I, was given both the wrong time and the wrong meeting place. I spent three hours sitting in a parking lot in little more than my swimming suit. FML

#20004339
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22227) - you deserved it (2495)

On 08/05/2012 at 6:05pm - misc - by crissy becks - United States (California)

Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML

#19581531
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22222) - you deserved it (4324)

On 05/06/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by flustered (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I was cashiering at Walmart, when a customer picked open a cold-sore on her lip before trying to give me her money with the same hand. When I freaked out and refused to take her money, she started screaming and threatening to sue me for "violating the First Amendment." FML

#19969409
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22220) - you deserved it (2741)

On 07/21/2012 at 5:14pm - work - by artdegreemyass (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at work, I spent half an hour on the phone with a customer. At the end of the conversation, as he was putting down the phone, I heard him say 'God, he was a miserable git'. I'm a 28 year old woman. FML

#14637512
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22219) - you deserved it (3547)

On 01/19/2011 at 9:55am - work - by tgpgs -

Today, I received a compliment for the first time from a girl. She told me she admires my courage to go out in public since most ugly people don't like to. FML

#20083123
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22219) - you deserved it (1649)

On 09/22/2012 at 2:59am - misc - by IHateMyLife - United States (California)



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