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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went out to lunch with two friends from high school. We saw a girl that we graduated with at the restaurant. The girl gave both of them hugs and introduced herself to me. FML

#748
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21030) - you deserved it (1823)

On 01/07/2009 at 10:42am - misc - by bex - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while watching TV with my wife, I realized that we were still watching "My Little Pony" even though the kids had been asleep for half an hour. FML

#19495403
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21030) - you deserved it (5144)

On 04/19/2012 at 12:08pm - misc - by ajnmegs - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was telling my younger brother and sister how important it is to know how to use a knife properly : while slicing potatoes. Just as I was saying how stupid people can be with knives, the potato slipped on the counter. I sliced open my hand while talking about knife safety. FML

#569980
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21028) - you deserved it (55209)

On 03/24/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by nessacadesa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML

#17548776
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21028) - you deserved it (43113)

On 08/22/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was getting ready for a party and accidentally knocked my blender off the counter. After taking a half an hour to clean up all the glass, I went upstairs to get the spare blender I keep in the closet. I tripped, and broke the blender. I just applied for a waitressing job. FML

#7115601
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21027) - you deserved it (5823)

On 01/03/2010 at 12:04am - misc - by cutiepatootie (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I joined my school's film-making club so I could get an opportunity to act in the club president's screenplays. It turns out her idea of a tragedy is a creepy, sci-fi version of Romeo and Juliet, with elves, starring her as the perfect Mary Sue style lead character. I can't get out of this. FML

#17647973
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21028) - you deserved it (4800)

On 09/02/2011 at 9:59pm - misc - by Actor (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was doing the laundry, but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML

#2771794
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21025) - you deserved it (56995)

On 06/10/2009 at 1:37pm - misc - by potpurri_needed (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was accused of shop-lifting by an old lady in a supermarket. Having proven myself innocent, I tried to storm off to show my displeasure at the situation. In my haste to make a dramatic exit, I tried to go out of the entrance and walked straight into the automatic door. FML

#13723966
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21026) - you deserved it (11662)

On 11/05/2010 at 6:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gwynedd)

Today, I learned that when you take off your sweatshirt, it can get stuck in your braces. I was in public. FML

#19426271
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21026) - you deserved it (3297)

On 04/07/2012 at 10:10pm - misc - by Millian2 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML

#13340119
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21026) - you deserved it (7533)

On 10/06/2010 at 5:31am - love - by fireman (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I have to be at work with a smile on my face, whilst sitting next to the asshole that dumped me last week. FML

#1869
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21021) - you deserved it (4924)

On 01/20/2009 at 10:16am - work - by Heartbroken - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML

#19704356
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21022) - you deserved it (2101)

On 05/30/2012 at 12:45pm - kids - by unzucht (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I told my dog to give me the stick he had in his mouth so I could throw it for him. After I picked it up I realized it was a dried-out piece of shit. FML

#21338477
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21022) - you deserved it (12212)

On 01/16/2015 at 7:37pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)



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