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Today, I was working the lighting for a drama production. In the last scene, two characters realize they are in love and kiss, then the stage goes dark. I mixed up my settings, and instead of a blackout, flashing party lights started going off. 300 people turn around to stare at me. FML

#4285773
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15210) - you deserved it (34590)

On 08/04/2009 at 4:22pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I fell asleep in class. One minute I'm listening to a lecture, and twenty-five minutes later, I'm waking up screaming in agony in front of everyone after biting my tongue in my sleep. FML

#20092439
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15209) - you deserved it (9574)

On 09/28/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML

#18662778
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15207) - you deserved it (27598)

On 12/31/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by atleese - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I announced to my family that I was going to start playing netball with my work colleagues. They all burst into fits of laughter at the thought of me doing physical activity. FML

#20061605
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15207) - you deserved it (3697)

On 09/07/2012 at 5:50am - health - by sunshinexx - Australia

Today, I told my dad that I had a herpes infection. He said "Good." FML

#13495113
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15201) - you deserved it (33399)

On 10/18/2010 at 2:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went shopping with my boyfriend. He tried on a pair of trousers which didn't fit, so he asked me to change them, so off I go. I then return with another pair for him to try on, and find him bent over and blurt out "What the hell's that terrible underwear?". The man turns around, revealing that I'd entered the wrong changing room. FML

#2607
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15200) - you deserved it (7927)

On 01/26/2009 at 5:09am - love - by Harmonia - Sent from mobile version

Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML

#3373378
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15199) - you deserved it (49046)

On 06/30/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a bucket of Twizzlers for our 1 year anniversary because 'he knew I liked them.' He has no idea why I am so upset. FML

#6303119
479 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15193) - you deserved it (41275)

On 11/14/2009 at 4:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized that every targeted advertisement on my Facebook involves gym memberships and diet pills. FML

#20096947
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15183) - you deserved it (4281)

On 10/01/2012 at 4:04pm - health - by liveviathetredmill - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to finally use the gym membership I got a few weeks ago. After I returned to the locker room, the locker I used was opened with all my stuff, including my iTouch, cell phone, and my wallet with cash stolen. It turns out I left the sticker that tells you your combo on my new lock. FML

#2112400
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15175) - you deserved it (69504)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:54pm - misc - by Sweeney (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML

#18981474
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15169) - you deserved it (21835)

On 02/03/2012 at 12:25am - misc - by coleslaw (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML

#8406793
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15166) - you deserved it (4447)

On 02/18/2010 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by goldie09 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after much coaxing, I finally got my roommate to loosen up and have a couple of beers with me and my friends. It was only later in the evening that he admitted the real reason he hadn't wanted to drink: he's an alcoholic and had been sober for six months, until now. FML

#20499970
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15159) - you deserved it (53953)

On 02/09/2013 at 6:26pm - misc - by mhmm... cumsquats (man) - Belgium (Brabant)



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