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Major FOMO

By dan - 14/12/2023 13:00 - United States

Today, I learned my most recent ex-girlfriend is dating my previous ex-girlfriend who also broke my heart back then. I also learned that they both sometimes have threesomes with a man. I wanted to experiment by adding another woman when I was with each of them, but they always said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 389

Good thing IQ isn't real

By Anonymous - 26/01/2023 16:30 - Germany

Today, I was looking for flower seeds on the internet, wanting the same pretty flowers that my mom has. My mom, who lives next door, and whose pretty flowers grow seeds that I could just have picked and planted. It seems a high IQ does not prevent you from simply being stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 746

Awkward silence

By Anonymous - 09/05/2023 15:00

Today, my little brother was getting a haircut. He’s very shy and doesn’t like to talk to strangers, hardly ever, but with women it’s more likely that he will. The hairdresser made a comment about, “He’s so quiet, is he nervous?” I said without thinking, ”No, he only talks to pretty girls.” She didn’t speak the rest of the haircut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 1 064

Classic Redditor

By Bored - 05/04/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, most of my day was spent repeatedly checking to see how well my Reddit posts have been performing as of late. I think I need to find a hobby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 737

Get It Together

By FML Videos - 21/11/2018 00:30

We can't even give an A for effort...

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 101

Damn you, Ikea!

By xXrememberthisXx - 16/10/2023 06:30

Today, I attempted to assemble a piece of furniture that claimed to be "easy to build in minutes." Four hours and multiple arguments later, I realized I had misread the instructions, and half the parts were upside down. I'm pretty sure the furniture won this round. FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 689

Fast food, hold the fast

By hails - 28/04/2022 04:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, at work, I’ll admit that I wasn’t in a good mood. I work in fast food, and I went to hand this guy his food without looking and he didn’t grab it. I got frustrated so I FINALLY looked. With an equally as upset look, I noticed the guy didn’t have arms, so I’d just been shoving food in his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 1 322

Blanked it

By Saad Ahmed - 26/11/2022 02:00 - Pakistan - Islamabad

Today, I found out that yesterday's exam, which I left almost blank, had been leaked 3 hours prior. I hadn't been able to see it because my phone was out of juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 873

Everyone's a critic

By Mark A. Collette - 24/06/2023 15:00

Today, I saw the "Weird: Al Yankovic" movie. What a waste of time that I will never get back. And I don't have that much time left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 839

Slow and Steady

By FML Videos - 07/11/2018 18:30 - United States - New York

He's doing his best!

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 67

Dunning-Kruger effect

By Anonymous - 09/02/2023 16:00

Today, I tried to impress my boss with my knowledge of a subject and ended up sounding like a complete idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 1 073

Happy for you

By WhyMe - 03/08/2023 00:02

Today, the guy I've talking to for the past 8 months just celebrated his six month 'anniversary' with his girlfriend. He picked her over me, but we agreed to be just friends. My feelings haven’t gone away, though. I can’t help but be jealous and depressed every time he posts about their relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 924

Don't be that guy

By Anonymous - 19/04/2022 03:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I was set up on my first blind date since my divorce. My expectations were low, but when she showed up, she was a smoking hot. She was way out of my league, she was delightful and kind throughout the date, but my low confidence shined through. That night she acquired an expensive dinner and a stalker. Me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 1 406

Anyone could've waltzed in

By DTMM - 15/09/2023 08:00

Today, I was looking for my condo keys, thinking I had left them in my mailbox on the first floor the night before. Leaving to check, I realized I'd forgot to take them out of my door when I had come in, leaving them in the keyhole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 499

Technology hates humans

By Anonymous - 02/03/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my bathroom electrical outlet has a feature unique from the others, where it turns off on it's own and has to be reset. I found this out after returning an electric toothbrush for a refund, then paying double for another one, thinking the first one's charger didn't work thanks to the outlet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 448

Never drunk call your ex

By Anonymous - 02/11/2022 22:00

Today, I went out with a friend to a bar. After several Cosmopolitans, I decided to finally call my ex and tell him everything about how I feel, and how I really miss him. In the end, he said that it’s all so sweet and he will call my later. He hasn't called me since then. Instead, I was blocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 1 398

And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like…

By Anonymous - 23/04/2023 12:00 - Austria - Graz

Today, at my mum’s birthday dinner, my brother-in-law used a Latin phrase in the wrong way. Since we all have learned Latin, I taught him the correct way until everyone facepalmed in my direction. He made a rather nice wordplay and now I’m known as the educated idiot who is too stupid to understand a simple joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 1 026

Need beer now

By Jensen - 16/07/2021 07:01 - United States - Hoffman Estates

Today, I went kayaking with some friends, and I had an empty beer can dedicated to throwing cigarette butts in. After running out of beer, I took a big swig from the only can in my kayak. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 1 409

Life's Ups and Downs

By FML Videos - 01/10/2018 18:30 - United States - New York

Hang on for dear life!

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 180

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 14:48 - United States

Today, I decided I would eat healthy in order to lose weight. Feeling powerful, I threw away all of the icecream in my freezer. An hour later, I picked the icecream carton out of the garbage and ate the entire half-melted carton. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 458

Fair bargain, actually

By Glee fanatic - 04/04/2023 18:00

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that I'd put him on a six-month sex ban if he didn't binge watch Glee with me. He took the sex ban without hesitation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 1 953

Where is my mind?

By Anonymous - 24/07/2021 00:01

Today, after 10 beers and a 1/3 of a bottle of Jack, I felt an undeniable urge to go rabbit hunting with lawn darts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 1 160

Appropriate attire required

By Anonymous - 11/03/2023 18:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. I was feeling good about it, until I realized that I'd forgotten my workout clothes and was wearing jeans. As I attempted to do squats in my tight jeans, I split them down the middle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 985

Thunderbolt of lightning, very very frightening

By worst boss ever - 06/02/2022 10:01

Today, one of my employees called in because he “got struck by lightning.” I told him that’s the dumbest excuse I’ve ever heard, and he’d better get his ass to work. Turns out he really did get struck by lightning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 1 620

Baby fever

By Anonymous - 26/02/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I agreed to babysit my baby nephew for a week while his parents flew abroad for the MIL’s funeral. I had hoped having a baby around might convince my wife to consider having kids. Nope. She got so sick of the baby, she moved into a hotel until my sister comes home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 836

Oddly specific

By mr. e - 18/05/2023 22:00

Today, I discovered that at the age of 24, I would actually rather break a toe than eat a food I don’t like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 666

Get the **** outta here, kid

By Anonymous - 07/02/2023 16:00

Today, I tried to take a picture next to a peacock, but ended up running away with a face and mouth full of feathers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 894

Horndog

By Anonymous - 16/05/2022 03:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I motioned to my buddy, “Check out that chick, she ain’t got a bra on.” Only for my buddy to turn back and say, “That’s a guy.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 1 281

Cold dish time

By Anonymous - 09/03/2022 04:00

Today, I woke up in the hospital with a mild concussion, a sprained neck, and a broken shoulder. How did this happen? Earlier, I ran into the guy I used to bully all throughout school. Once his wife realized who I was, she piledrived me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 3 113

Nighty night

By leogs23 - 07/03/2021 14:02

Today, I got into trouble for sleeping at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 1 771

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my husband pathetically tried to convince me that his “friend” has his Facebook password, and “hacks” into his account to message another woman using his profile. The dick picture he sent her by text message? His “friend” has his iCloud password and “hacked” it, and sent it himself. Right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 690

You deserved it 168

Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 915

You deserved it 44 866

The Top

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 148

You deserved it 3 856

Today, I asked a cute guy for his number but instead he gave it to my gay friend. When my friend later called him, it turned out that he'd given him his number just to get rid of me and wasn't expecting him to call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 159

You deserved it 3 807

Today, a tenant in my apartment block told me about a nice shady place behind our building where he often goes to relax. Curious, I went looking for it. It was a quiet and secluded courtyard. At least until a man came out of nowhere waving a hammer in my face, screaming in a foreign language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 069

You deserved it 3 261

Today, I saw that my boyfriend of 3 years had posted pictures with the girl he says he “sees as a best friend” wearing matching pajamas. He’d told me he wasn’t into the pajamas thing when I wanted to do it. He doesn’t get why I’m upset and told me I’m overreacting about some silly post between “two best friends.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 666

You deserved it 126

Today, an ex of mine told me she wanted a threesome. This was great until I realised I wasn't included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 306

You deserved it 420

Today, a girl asked me to check out her left breast, which she said she'd found a strange lump on. I'm an orthodontist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 868

You deserved it 3 448