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Today, after dating the love of my life for a year, my parents refuse to give their blessing for us to be engaged, because he's two years younger than me and "people change as they age." FML

by Sestricken / 08/11/2015 at 8:22am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, during a driving lesson, I stopped behind a taxi, and got more and more annoyed when the traffic wouldn't move. A few minutes later, my instructor couldn't hold his laughter any more and pointed out I'd somehow zoned out and entered a taxi rank. FML

by kalvin / 05/24/2015 at 12:56pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Transportation

Today, a customer complained about me for getting their order wrong. This would have been fine if they hadn't sent their ten-year-old kid to order for them. FML

by CaptainFluffyPaw / 06/28/2015 at 9:59pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

by Rachal / 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I was sexting my boss. I realised that I wasn't texting my boyfriend after I'd sent 2 nudes, and received many sexually provocative responses. FML

by Peter Steele love / 10/17/2015 at 8:49pm / United Kingdom (North Somerset) / Intimacy

Today, I hit a parked car. It happened to be my driving instructor's car. While he was instructing me, sitting in the passenger seat. I don't think I'll pass. FML

by badDriver / 11/28/2009 at 4:37pm / United States (Oregon) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML

by meow / 01/13/2010 at 11:27pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Love

Today, I drove for hours to attend a martial arts tournament, and then I waited ages for it to finally start. I lost in less than a minute. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2012 at 3:26pm / United States (South Dakota) / Miscellaneous

Today, while in line at the supermarket, I told the lady behind me that she had a cute baby. She shot me a disgusted look and straight up accused me of being a pedophile. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2015 at 2:49am / United States / Kids

Today, my satan-spawn of a step-son proudly showed that he can pee accurately while standing up. I'd be less livid if he hadn't pissed on me while I was asleep in bed. FML

by Wlanla / 08/02/2015 at 7:39am / Romania (Bacau) / Kids

Today, I was reading to a child during nap time because she woke up crying. She calmed down right after I began reading, but soon started crying again. I was confused until I felt something warm and wet on my leg. She peed on me. FML

by Username / 11/05/2010 at 6:02pm / France / Work

Today, instead of taking down the Christmas tree, my sister covered it with Valentine's Day decorations. FML

Today, I was making a snowman with my little cousin. I was collecting snow just outside the house, when out of nowhere a snowball struck me in the back of the head and caused me to headbutt the wall. I woke up a short while later to a medic telling me I had a nasty concussion. Thanks, cousin. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2010 at 3:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous