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Today, it's the third day of my dad's revenge after he snapped over me supposedly using the word "duh" in every other sentence. He got his hands on my old recorder and has been playing it loudly and out of tune outside my room when I try to do my homework. My mom thinks this is hilarious. FML

#18083556
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18385) - you deserved it (12457)

On 10/26/2011 at 8:24pm - misc - by krystal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while skiing, the creepy guy controlling the chair lift said I was pretty. I was so caught off guard that I fell off. FML

#19171997
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18383) - you deserved it (4521)

On 02/26/2012 at 11:58pm - misc - by Confused - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got out of bed and went downstairs in my boxers to get a glass of water. I entered the kitchen and said hi to my visiting mother-in-law, who smiled. Only after a good ten minutes did she decide to tell me that my "wanker-stick" was hanging from a gap in my boxers. FML

#7441309
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18382) - you deserved it (5537)

On 01/19/2010 at 6:18pm - intimacy - by kappaomicron (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I overheard my husband telling my step-dad that I have the same ability to sniff out chocolate in a house as a certain animal has to find truffles in the woods. FML

#14294179
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18383) - you deserved it (5828)

On 12/22/2010 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was so insecure, I got scared of what people might think of my fingers. FML

#19549907
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18384) - you deserved it (5416)

On 04/29/2012 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML

#20165039
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18381) - you deserved it (2541)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by spaceforrent - United States

Today, my boyfriend had a tantrum because I didn't like Black Sabbath as much as him. Apparently our entire relationship was based on him thinking I did. I've now been labeled "The Queen of Lies." FML

#20108628
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18379) - you deserved it (2690)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:39am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, my new neighbours moved in. I've neither seen nor spoken to them yet; all I know is that they enjoy hammering at the walls for hours on end and repeatedly setting off the fire alarm. All this in the small hours of the morning. I got two hours of sleep. FML

#19558757
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18371) - you deserved it (1653)

On 05/01/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went for a job interview for a building position at a retail store. They saw on my application that I was good at math. They asked me what the circumference of a circle is. Being nervous during the interview, I accidentally said the area of a circle. I didn't get the job. FML

#19567583
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18369) - you deserved it (6399)

On 05/03/2012 at 8:16am - work - by mathguy (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was skiing in Vermont for the third day straight. Since I was getting very little sleep, on the top of the chairlift I let out a huge yawn, pulling a muscle in my face. As I slid down the ramp, everyone saw me thrashing my head around and making funny, painful faces as I fell down. FML

#8292410
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18368) - you deserved it (4235)

On 02/15/2010 at 8:35am - misc - by Floof (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to dinner with my boyfriend. After we ordered, I started to unzip his fly really slowly. As I put my hand in his boxers, he stands up to greet his mom and dad who were joining us for dinner. FML

#868136
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18367) - you deserved it (100556)

On 04/08/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by cdoyle - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home from out of state. I found out someone online had told my husband that the "fumes" from hot showers can be lethal. As a precaution, he removed the draft-blocking bathroom door to make sure it's "properly ventilated." FML

#19116671
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18367) - you deserved it (2094)

On 02/19/2012 at 5:45pm - misc - by marriedtoaretard (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a chance to have dinner and a movie with a girl I've liked for a while. I ran late, so in a hurry to make the movie, and trying to be smooth for her, I told the waiter I'd "take care of him" if he made it fast. He did. When he brought the check, I realized I had forgotten my wallet. FML

#677350
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18366) - you deserved it (58727)

On 03/29/2009 at 9:38am - money - by BrokeAsAJoke (man) - United States (Florida)



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