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Today, I realized that every targeted advertisement on my Facebook involves gym memberships and diet pills. FML

#20096947
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15188) - you deserved it (4281)

On 10/01/2012 at 4:04pm - health - by liveviathetredmill - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to finally use the gym membership I got a few weeks ago. After I returned to the locker room, the locker I used was opened with all my stuff, including my iTouch, cell phone, and my wallet with cash stolen. It turns out I left the sticker that tells you your combo on my new lock. FML

#2112400
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15178) - you deserved it (69514)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:54pm - misc - by Sweeney (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML

#18981474
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15173) - you deserved it (21843)

On 02/03/2012 at 12:25am - misc - by coleslaw (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML

#8406793
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15172) - you deserved it (4447)

On 02/18/2010 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by goldie09 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after much coaxing, I finally got my roommate to loosen up and have a couple of beers with me and my friends. It was only later in the evening that he admitted the real reason he hadn't wanted to drink: he's an alcoholic and had been sober for six months, until now. FML

#20499970
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15160) - you deserved it (53962)

On 02/09/2013 at 6:26pm - misc - by mhmm... cumsquats (man) - Belgium (Brabant)

Today, I was out skating with a guy I really like. I put on my best moves, to impress him. I ended up slicing his lip open with my skate mid-jump. His lip is now wired shut by twelve stitches. FML

#15176511
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15158) - you deserved it (31845)

On 03/02/2011 at 4:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I learned that lemonade and urine look very similar to one another. I also learned that they taste very different. FML

#19183554
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15157) - you deserved it (20416)

On 02/28/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by iVaughtTV - United States (Indiana)

Today, my best friend and I performed a rap to our whole school. The rap was "made up" by our friend. After the performance, a lot of friends asked me why I did a rap from Hannah Montana. Apparently the rap was off of a show for 8 year olds. We are 17 and people think we watch Hannah Montana. FML

#1336947
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15155) - you deserved it (51017)

On 04/25/2009 at 10:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that if I don't get fillings in at least ten of my teeth within the next year, I could lose them all. I'm 19. FML

#17489805
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15153) - you deserved it (37911)

On 08/16/2011 at 12:16pm - health - by gkid92 - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my boss reached over and yanked up my shirt right above my breasts while she said, "I'm all for flaunting it if you've got it, but don't reveal that much cleavage, there are dirty old men that work here." FML

#13058451
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15146) - you deserved it (36170)

On 09/15/2010 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes. If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. FML

#10772340
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15142) - you deserved it (32332)

On 05/26/2010 at 4:17am - health - by kaylajere - United States (Texas)

Today, while driving, I realized I had left my phone on top of my car when I was getting in. Panicking, I drove back to look for it. I found it in the middle of the street, still intact. Yay! When I went back to my car, I noticed I had locked my door. And the keys were in the ignition. FML

#4866921
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15141) - you deserved it (33894)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my parents hassled me for wanting to get my tongue pierced, saying it was filthy, unprofessional, and degrading. About an hour later, my sister let slip that my nipple is pierced. FML

#14086483
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15141) - you deserved it (31777)

On 12/04/2010 at 6:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom



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