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Today, I was chatting to my brother on Skype. Out of the blue, and just as I read the punchline to a hilarious joke, he said his girlfriend had been cheating on him. I couldn't stifle my side-splitting laughter, and he's been ignoring my calls since. FML

#19205582
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25169) - you deserved it (9506)

On 03/02/2012 at 10:05pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in the locker room at work, someone tried writing "douche bag" on my locker, and misspelled it four times before apparently giving up. FML

#19255450
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25166) - you deserved it (2130)

On 03/11/2012 at 1:39am - work - by The Last One (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML

#3486
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25165) - you deserved it (6228)

On 01/29/2009 at 7:13pm - love - by amg85904 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my elderly dad once again asked me to make a reservation at a restaurant for him and a younger woman he's been seeing. Meanwhile, I haven't had anything even approaching a real date in over a decade. FML

#21386446
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25164) - you deserved it (3253)

On 04/02/2015 at 10:19am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, I let my little sister sleep in my room because she had a nightmare. She is currently snoring like an overweight 40 year old man with a cold. FML

#19105693
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25160) - you deserved it (3307)

On 02/18/2012 at 5:07am - misc - by sleepless - United States

Today, I found out my son told his teachers that I make his brother Tom sleep on the floor, make him stay out of the house for long periods of time, and don't let him use the toilet. Tom is actually our cat. FML

#21477463
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25158) - you deserved it (1765)

On 10/08/2015 at 7:53am - animals - by Bad Mother (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I started my new job, and was introduced to my colleague. She seemed old and quite experienced, so I thought she was going to teach me. I was wrong. It turns out I'm a replacement for her daughter, who used to secretly do all of her work for her because she has no idea how to do it herself. FML

#19992409
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25157) - you deserved it (1691)

On 07/30/2012 at 9:00am - work - by Frustation - United States

Today, I was scheduled for an interview at a local firm owned by two partners. The secretary told me to be there at around 12:00 to 12:30 pm, so I arrived at 12:15. The first boss told me off for being early, the other one yelled at me for being late. FML

#20084697
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25157) - you deserved it (2452)

On 09/23/2012 at 5:23am - work - by whatisthisidonteven (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend asked me to marry him because he could get a tax cut from buying the ring. All of this happened in front of his mother. FML

#7804669
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25156) - you deserved it (2317)

On 02/02/2010 at 1:20am - love - by engagedmaybe (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my friends and I planned to go to a waterpark together. However, due to a "miscommunication," I, and only I, was given both the wrong time and the wrong meeting place. I spent three hours sitting in a parking lot in little more than my swimming suit. FML

#20004339
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25156) - you deserved it (2790)

On 08/05/2012 at 6:05pm - misc - by crissy becks - United States (California)

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

#2459150
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25155) - you deserved it (79238)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, I was looking forward to coming home to a freshly-cooked meal. Coming home to a cowering dog, two inches of water on the floor, and being handed a mop is just as good, I guess. FML

#7199180
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25155) - you deserved it (3351)

On 01/07/2010 at 1:38pm - animals - by Flooded (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, in a desperate bid to avoid going to the doctor, my young son ran into and hid inside a cactus garden. I had to drag him out. FML

#17758284
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25155) - you deserved it (2769)

On 09/16/2011 at 3:26pm - kids - by Chandler - United States



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