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Today, a man came up to me at the bus stop. He went into this long story about how his girlfriend is pregnant and they both haven't eaten in days. Trying to be tough and funny I said back, "sounds like you should invest in condoms instead of food." He responded by beating and robbing me. FML

Today, I woke up on my mom's couch with a wicked hangover. I made a mad dash for the toilet but felt the wave coming after two steps. I grabbed a bag of trash next to the front door and showed it no mercy. After I'd recovered and cleaned up, Mom asked if I'd seen the bag with her tax materials. FML

#993995
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19233) - you deserved it (59841)

On 04/15/2009 at 3:47pm - health - by caramelkarma (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized that the only food I have is four months' worth of nutrisystem food from when my parents went on the nutrisystem diet. I am not able to secure a job and buy my own food, so I have two choices: die of starvation or die of nasty nutrisystem food. FML

#7918887
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19233) - you deserved it (8015)

On 02/05/2010 at 10:19pm - health - by Henry (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was reminded that I used by dad's camera all summer to take naked pictures for boyfriend when my dad sent me an email saying: "FYI: when you delete pictures directly off the camera they get uploaded as trash files when the camera is connected to the computer." He saw them all. FML

#892613
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19232) - you deserved it (78252)

On 04/09/2009 at 9:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was really stressed, so I tried to let it out by crying. It lasted about 30 seconds, and I was making fun of myself the whole time. Even my subconscious thinks I'm pathetic. FML

#19636428
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19232) - you deserved it (4606)

On 05/17/2012 at 10:37am - health - by Username (man) - Australia

Today, my uncle gave me a lecture on how I eat too much "unhealthy" junk food, and that it can be very harmful for me. All the while smoking a cigarette. FML

#19741419
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19231) - you deserved it (3030)

On 06/05/2012 at 10:59pm - health - by Singapore - United States (New York)

Today, I parked my car to go inside to grab my wallet than I'd forgotten. In the short time it took me to do that, someone broke two of my car's windows. FML

#9018628
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19226) - you deserved it (2031)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:10am - misc - by lance - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spent 300 dollars making colored flyers for my iPhone that I lost. On the flyer I wrote for whoever found it to call me and I would give a reward. I wrote the phone number of my iPhone that I lost. FML

#165039
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19225) - you deserved it (122083)

On 02/28/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by Mike (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I went into work and noticed one of my fellow colleagues had a large bunch of flowers on her desk. As soon as I saw her, I immediately said, "Happy Birthday!" Everyone went quiet. It wasn't her birthday; her father had died. FML

#2594715
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19225) - you deserved it (51356)

On 06/04/2009 at 10:09am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my dad walked in to the arena where I was watching a hockey game with my boyfriend and his friends. My dad was wearing a crazy grey mohawk wig/hat. Meanwhile, my boyfriend just finished telling me how embarassing it would be to be that guy's kid. FML

#2451
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19224) - you deserved it (1630)

On 01/24/2009 at 2:47pm - misc - by lizard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I fell asleep in a lecture. I laughed at something amusing in Dreamworld, but the laugh came out as a prolonged creepy groan in Lectureworld. I woke up to see everyone within a 5 meter radius staring at me. FML

#6286266
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19224) - you deserved it (12096)

On 11/13/2009 at 10:53am - misc - by teepee - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, at my job at the mall, our music malfunctioned and now will only play the same three songs over and over again. Our manager won't let us turn it off because "the customers won't notice". FML

#20031862
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19225) - you deserved it (1338)

On 08/20/2012 at 12:31pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to break up with him. After I left his house, I realized that my cell phone had fallen out of my pocket and onto his couch, where I had forgotten it. FML



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