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Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML

#19525636
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18116) - you deserved it (9257)

On 04/25/2012 at 12:50am - misc - by unfortunate (woman) - Sweden

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18118) - you deserved it (1454)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I met a hot guy at a club and we really hit it off. We went back to his place and we got down to business. After, I noticed he had an iPod Touch on his nightstand. I complimented him on it and he responded with, "Yeah, my girlfriend gave it to me as an anniversary present." FML

#4360788
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18111) - you deserved it (51235)

On 08/07/2009 at 1:09pm - love - by accidentalslut (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was telling my sister about the stupid sorts of questions I get asked at work. She looked at me and said "I give you five years until you turn into a raging, chain-smoking corporate bitch." My mom agreed. FML

#9031003
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18110) - you deserved it (3760)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:23pm - work - by ams (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was playing an online game in nothing but my boxers, when suddenly a girl joined my team. I immediately felt embarrassed and put some pants on. There were no webcams involved. I need to get out more. FML

#19713389
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18110) - you deserved it (11961)

On 06/01/2012 at 12:48am - misc - by furred (man) - Philippines

Today, I got into an argument with my dad in his hotel room. I lost my temper and stormed out onto the balcony for some fresh air, at which point he decided to lock the door behind me, trapping me there for half an hour while he watched TV. FML

#19468154
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18107) - you deserved it (10604)

On 04/14/2012 at 6:56pm - misc - by fuckbucket14 - Egypt (Al Bahr al Ahmar)

Today, my boyfriend, who is a great cook, decided to try his hand at baking. The cookies he made looked weird but tasted good. I jokingly said, "They taste great, but they look awful!" He responded by saying, "I could say the same thing about you." FML

#13655467
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18106) - you deserved it (23437)

On 10/30/2010 at 10:14pm - love - by yummy(: - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

#18217902
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18105) - you deserved it (76683)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, while working at the coffee shop, I had to empty the garbage cans. One of the bags gave way, and all the half-finished cups of coffee spilled all over my uniform. Most customers' orders cost more than I make per hour. FML

#20166731
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18105) - you deserved it (1884)

On 11/17/2012 at 1:35pm - work - by overpriced coffee shop worker - United States (California)

Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML

#20543184
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18105) - you deserved it (35220)

On 03/14/2013 at 6:52am - health - by jen (woman) - United States

Today, after giving my mother and my girlfriend their Christmas presents, I realized just how similar they looked both in box size and wrapping paper. I noticed after my mother gasped upon finding a vibrator in her box. FML

#20420433
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18101) - you deserved it (50087)

On 12/25/2012 at 2:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I forgot my blind date's name 3 times during our conversation. FML

#20885867
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18098) - you deserved it (36460)

On 09/17/2013 at 10:17pm - love - by lola1313 - United States (Illinois)

Today, my football team played in a game against our rival school that was just a few blocks away. We hadn't lost the game in exactly 49 years, we were playing for the 50th year win. We lost 63-0, and got booed off the field by our own crowd. FML

#5478797
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18098) - you deserved it (33495)

On 09/26/2009 at 1:19am - misc - by Fmycar - United States (California)



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