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Today, after helping run salads and bread to a table, they demanded I do something about the bug problem. I would've been more understanding if they hadn't chosen to sit outside. FML

by smokecloud_ / 07/02/2015 at 2:40am / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I discovered that the rancid stench in my bathroom was a decaying carcass of a mouse in my toilet tank. FML

by Ewwwwww / 02/04/2010 at 1:53pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to hold hands with plastic "horror hand" I bought for Halloween. FML

by Penkkis / 09/13/2011 at 2:11am / Finland (Lapland) / Love

Today, I realized I could make more money being on welfare than I can at my current job. FML

Today, we watched a movie in class. Afterwards, the professor asked us what we thought. I raised my hand and said it was pretentious, dull and a really poor example of filmmaking. It was the movie HE spent five years writing and directing. FML

by Nate / 03/05/2009 at 10:25pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to go into the school for the third time this week because my son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2012 at 1:08am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML

by SinkyBalls / 08/29/2011 at 11:56pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I after getting off the bus, I realized that the man I was talking to was distracting me so his "buddy" could steal my wallet. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2011 at 1:32am / United States / Money

Today, I finally stood up to the guy who's been bullying me for the last 2 years. Even though he's been caught in the act several times, he never gets punished, so I figured I'd get away with gut-punching him. Nope. An hour later, I was suspended from school. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2015 at 6:22pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, with the cost of craft supplies that ended in a DIY fail, then a costume and overnight shipping, I have now spent $90 to obtain a $10 hat and vest for my daughter to play a cow in the school Christmas play. She will say "Moo" three times with 5 other cows before leaving the stage. FML

by Broke Mama / 12/24/2011 at 9:38am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I went to a frozen yogurt stand with my dad. One of the flavors was called "Juicy Cherry." I had to stand there and watch in horror as he told the woman running the stand all about how he'd like to taste her juicy cherry. FML

by ppema / 07/31/2015 at 2:28pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got stuck driving behind a rather large motorcyclist on a one way road for 30 miles. For those 30 miles, I had a full view of his back fat rolls and butt crack. FML

by O__o / 12/09/2011 at 1:43am / United States / Transportation

Today, I learned what being stabbed in the leg by an ex feels like. FML

by Anon Y. Mous / 10/02/2015 at 12:24am / United States (California) / Love