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Today, while I was painting, my little nephew came in and started watching me. I left to clean my brushes. When I came back into the room, my nephew had spilled paint all over the carpet making a rainbow. It took me 5 hours to clean it up. FML

#8205251
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17922) - you deserved it (7195)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:32pm - kids - by ositsranielle - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my ex-girlfriend came over to console me after a breakup. After beating me repeatedly in Mariokart, she decided to leave. FML

#14448955
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17921) - you deserved it (7464)

On 01/03/2011 at 5:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my football team played in a game against our rival school that was just a few blocks away. We hadn't lost the game in exactly 49 years, we were playing for the 50th year win. We lost 63-0, and got booed off the field by our own crowd. FML

#5478797
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17915) - you deserved it (33224)

On 09/26/2009 at 1:19am - misc - by Fmycar - United States (California)

Today, I removed the side rails from my truck because I didn't think I really needed them. An hour later, I went to Wal-Mart, forgot they were gone, and busted my ass in public while getting out of my truck. FML

#20615692
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17912) - you deserved it (39619)

On 04/23/2013 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was at my family reunion. I've always hated my family. I walked up behind my husband and said, "I can't wait to go home and make love." My husband turned around. It was my uncle wearing the same hat as my husband. FML

#17601670
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17910) - you deserved it (35532)

On 08/28/2011 at 2:18am - intimacy - by dev - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I just woke up next to the most unpopular girl in school. Damn Vodka. FML

#228
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17909) - you deserved it (131243)

On 11/06/2008 at 4:43am - intimacy - by Ben-Ben - Sent from mobile version

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

#2234853
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17908) - you deserved it (139896)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)

Today, after uprooting my life to help my boyfriend, I realized I receive more affection from my landlord's dog than I have from my boyfriend since I've moved here. FML

#8983847
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17908) - you deserved it (3705)

On 03/10/2010 at 9:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at a post-Christmas party, I saw a cute girl standing underneath a mistletoe. I walked up to her and pointed out that we were both standing under a mistletoe. She looked at me, winced, and quickly walked away. FML

#20424412
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17899) - you deserved it (20680)

On 12/26/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was waitressing for a huge family. Their bill was $750. Excited about the tip, I was shocked to see only $0.50. As they were leaving, I threw the two whole quarters at their heads. Guess who also got fired today. FML

#20150831
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17896) - you deserved it (41992)

On 11/06/2012 at 5:37pm - work - by Misunderstood Waitress (woman) - United States

Today, I lost control of my vehicle while driving. The car went off the road, rolled over, and ended up being totaled. The policeman asked me if I was alright and I said I was. He seemed relieved at my answer. Then he handed me a $300 ticket for failing to maintain my lane. FML

#13727152
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17895) - you deserved it (5179)

On 11/05/2010 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that we need a code word for when I'm being annoying. FML

#8828114
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17893) - you deserved it (7836)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:00pm - love - by ugh - United States

Today, a girl I work with was talking to me in an Eeyore voice. I'm not sure if it's because she's sad and pathetic, or if she thinks I'm sad and pathetic. FML

#13155074
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17888) - you deserved it (3376)

On 09/22/2010 at 10:36am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



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