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Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML

#20193447
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18434) - you deserved it (5185)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:24am - misc - by whaleninjapoop - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at college, I found a lanyard with some keys and a YMCA member's card attached. Hoping to find contact details, I googled the name on the back of the card, just in time for him to return and see me looking through his Facebook profile like some kind of stalker. FML

#17760345
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18433) - you deserved it (11239)

On 09/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I finally had it off. He sounds like Chewbacca when he comes. FML

#6126776
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18433) - you deserved it (3601)

On 11/02/2009 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked four blocks with toilet paper hanging out of my pants. FML

#11548771
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18432) - you deserved it (25082)

On 06/29/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by Tp (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom has officially lost 100 pounds due to a lap-band surgery. After sharing her excitement, she also shared her troubles. She said, "Everything hangs now, even my cooter. Can they fix that?" Thank you for the mental image, mom. FML

#20159898
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18432) - you deserved it (1501)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:25am - health - by KtSue - United States

Today, I found out my neighbor has been watching my husband and I have sex for the 2 years we've been married. He slaps his sausage and smokes 5 cigarettes while he watches. FML

#6656855
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18429) - you deserved it (4760)

On 12/07/2009 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by niquey62307 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML

#11322556
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18430) - you deserved it (27921)

On 06/20/2010 at 12:11am - health - by LoveYouTooMa (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I pulled into a parking lot and waited for a car to back out so I could take their spot. The apparently batshit insane psychopath in the other car managed to completely overlook me waving him out, and backed straight into my car. FML

#19002086
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18426) - you deserved it (4501)

On 02/05/2012 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while driving my car near a farm, I hit a man on the side of the road. I started freaking out and got out of the car to help him. It was then that I found out that I'd hit a scarecrow. FML

#19457431
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18426) - you deserved it (6302)

On 04/12/2012 at 7:53pm - misc - by questionmark707 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my roomate took the toilet paper out of my bathroom. I went into his room to look for it, only to find a large wad of it balled up near his laptop and mouse. FML

#3161
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18424) - you deserved it (1726)

On 01/28/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by flying solo - United States (California)

Today, I learned why one should never insert a tampon after squeezing lemons. FML

Today, during foreplay, I was trying to be sexy. But instead I fell off the bed, landed in the laundry basket, and was attacked by the dog. FML

#5163461
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18423) - you deserved it (4851)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:18am - intimacy - by Loveless (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while painting a wall, I handed a bucket of paint up to my friend who was standing on the top rung of a ladder. She said she felt dizzy, and came crashing down on me, along with the paint on my head. FML

#19306494
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18423) - you deserved it (2132)

On 03/19/2012 at 8:39am - misc - by fuuu. - Hong Kong



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