Intimacy, Health, Sex and Covid: Horny horny horny - FML

Horny horny horny

By Anonymous - 05/02/2022 12:00

Spicy

Today, I’m so desperate I hooked up with a guy who has Covid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 246

You deserved it 2 048

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Social distancing is a thing

By Anonymous - 05/01/2022 19:58 - Germany

Spicy

Today, I met a guy at a bar. Went home, got condoms, had sex. Also got Covid. First one night stand in four years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 1 609

Unmasked

By crushedgal - 30/12/2021 07:59

Spicy

Today, I found out I have Covid, from a guy who ghosted me last week after sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 625

By Justkillme - 15/11/2018 03:00

Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've been seeing. He confessed that he gave me chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 679

You deserved it 423

Love in the time of coronavirus

By Darkparcero33 - 28/02/2021 08:01

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Then my COVID test came back as positive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 148

Which is worse?

By Anonymous - 25/02/2022 08:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I tested positive for Covid, which I got from my boyfriend. Who got it from the chick he cheated on me with. At least it's not an STI. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 406

You deserved it 154

Facebook Science

By Anonymous - 23/09/2020 23:01 - United States - Waldwick

Today, I was going to hang out with my crush and tell him how I felt, but he cancelled because I had COVID 5 months ago and his mom is afraid I’m contagious. I’m safer to hang out with because I now have antibodies and can’t transmit it. I’ve also had 4 negative tests since then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 131

You deserved it 145

Mystery

By Death_Arc_Angel - 22/01/2021 09:09 - Trinidad and Tobago - Fyzabad

Spicy

Today, we're in the middle of a contagious deadly pandemic, and despite not having physical/sexual contact with anyone in over a year, I managed to contract herpes. I don't even know how I got it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 346

You deserved it 164

Parting gift

By Anonymous - 16/06/2022 02:00

Today, I was diagnosed with Covid. I've been living with my ex for 8 months. They started dating again, and their new partner broke up with them and gave them Covid, then my ex gave it to me. I was supposed to move out, and now I have to delay it further. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 249

Contact tracing

By Anonymous - 15/12/2020 16:58 - United States - Mechanicsburg

Today, I woke up to a text from my girlfriend telling me to call when I wake up. Turns out she had one of her friends over who tested positive for Covid and I was just at her house, so now I’m forced to quarantine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 248

By dvddtraveller - 22/04/2016 21:25 - United States - Oakland

Spicy

Today, I went to the local clinic and I met a really cute guy. We hit it off quite well, and he asked me out. It's like The Fault in Our Stars, but instead of cancer, we have STDs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 814

You deserved it 7 423

Next

Top comments

j moreno 7

Saturday 5 February 2022 16:03

To quote Red Foreman: "DUMBASS!"

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 5 February 2022 16:43

Don't worry. You can't get COVID from sex. Just as long as you wore a mask and kept 6 feet of social distance, you'll be fine.

Comments

j moreno 7

Saturday 5 February 2022 16:03

To quote Red Foreman: "DUMBASS!"

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 5 February 2022 16:43

Don't worry. You can't get COVID from sex. Just as long as you wore a mask and kept 6 feet of social distance, you'll be fine.

Hangryko 29

Saturday 5 February 2022 18:37

Wow, desperate *and* stupid.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Sunday 13 February 2022 19:03

WTF is wrong with you?! The anti-vaxxers are bad enough, but this? No wonder the shit keeps spreading and won't go away. Geez, how could you possibly be that desperate? Get a vibrator or something then.

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Health Awkward Jewelry Kids Fight Family Love Work Relatable Students Noise Animals Birds Sleep Mental health Medication Contraception Racism Pregnancy Relationship advice Cheating Friends Teenagers Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Food Revenge Cats

The Top

Today, I met my boyfriend in Hong Kong after being apart for almost 6 months. We got to our room and got right down to business. I was just about to come when a voice came over the PA system in the room. "This is just a fire alarm test, sorry for any inconvenience." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 129

You deserved it 5 932

Today, my husband and I have officially become that couple that has to schedule sex. Between his working, my going back to school, raising kids, doing housework and homework, we just haven’t had time. Last night we tried to be spontaneous and get it on. We both fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 586

You deserved it 244

The Top

Today, a calf kicked a needle straight into my arm hard enough to make me stab myself. The good news is I'm now fully vaccinated for cow diseases. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 769

You deserved it 2 725

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 228

You deserved it 5 272

Today, I've been bedridden for 2 weeks. My mother, a very busy woman who lives 30 minutes away, took me to the doctor's office, which is barely 2 minutes across town. Turns out I have strep, and a bad ear infection. My loving boyfriend of 6 years, who lives with me, just told me to take a hot shower and I'd feel better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 189

Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 893

You deserved it 6 330

Today, my mother-in-law showed up unexpectedly, made passive aggressive comments to my kids in front of me about how we need a bigger place to live, and asked questions about our income. We're actually trying to move soon, and just hadn't told them yet so they wouldn't try to follow us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 70

Today, I overheard a little girl ask her mom if the round lady in purple was pretending to be a giant eggplant. I was the lady in purple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 265

You deserved it 9 632