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Saturday 28 June 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

#21192543
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63038) - you deserved it (4910)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my husband came clean to having an affair with my sister. I later found out my other sister encouraged the affair because she thought they'd be a cute couple. FML

#21194001
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56540) - you deserved it (4075)

On 06/30/2014 at 5:06pm - love - by outoflove (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at my mom's funeral. My sisters and I were sitting in the front row. The funeral director, whom we had met with twice before, was going around greeting everyone. When she got to us, she asked where our mom was. Seriously? FML

#21189397
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56537) - you deserved it (3013)

On 06/26/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Alex - United States (Hawaii)

Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML

#21194564
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56426) - you deserved it (5220) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/01/2014 at 12:55am - love - by NosChersVoisins - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

#21190698
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55722) - you deserved it (7207)

On 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55562) - you deserved it (18296)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, my teenage daughter faked a suicide because I bought her a Samsung instead of an iPhone for her birthday. FML

#21198840
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55562) - you deserved it (11392)

On 07/04/2014 at 8:15pm - kids - by iphonerevolution - South Africa

Today, I picked up a co-worker from the airport. As she got in the car, she looked over at me and said, "I'm still not sleeping with you". This was our second conversation. The first is when she asked if I could pick her up from the airport. FML

#21187469
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54247) - you deserved it (5930)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:41am - intimacy - by headdesk (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. After breaking the news to my parents, I heard my dad mutter when I left, "Damn it, I liked her better than him." My mother didn't protest. FML

#21196912
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53911) - you deserved it (12731)

On 07/03/2014 at 12:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I donated to a charity website. My card was repeatedly refused by the website but when I went on my account, I was charged for each time I tried. I was scammed by a charity. FML

#21193277
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53309) - you deserved it (8404)

On 06/30/2014 at 1:02am - money - by Charitable (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

#21195046
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53135) - you deserved it (4547)

On 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by carebear1228 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while visiting family, we went to a restaurant to eat. Towards the end of the meal, I went to use the restroom. When I came back, everyone was gone. Everyone had actually gotten into their cars and left without me. I have no idea where I am and no one is answering their phone. FML

#21185875
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52991) - you deserved it (4461)

On 06/23/2014 at 10:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my young niece hammering a metal cookie cutter into my leg. I'll have a teddy bear shaped scar for the rest of my life. FML



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