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Monday 29 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

TODAY, I HAD TO SHARE MY ROOM WITH MY COUSIN WHILE SHE STAYD OVER. I LET HER TAKE MY BD WHILE I SLEPT ON THE FLOOR. NOT ONLY DO MY BACK AND NECK HURT, BUT I HAD TO CLEAN VOMIT OUT OF MY HAIR. APPARENTLY, SHE ( WASN'T FEELING WELL ) LAST NIGHT. MEGA FML

#20640612
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48718) - you deserved it (4221)

On 05/04/2013 at 9:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out that every time mah girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. big fat FML

#20638599
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48554) - you deserved it (5179)

On 05/03/2013 at 7:32am - health - by poopydaddy - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY..!! I WENT TO HAVE A BREAST EXAM!! THE DOC TOLD ME THAT SHE WOULD TOUCH DIFFERENT PARTS OF BREASTS..!! AND SAID TO TELL HER IF AT ANY POINT IT FELT PAINFUL!! AS SHE WAS EXAMINING ME..!! I WAS GOING TO SAY THAT IT WASN'T PAINFUL..!! BUT INSTEAD I BLURTED OUT..!! ( IT FEELS GOOD!! ) FML

#20630276
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47890) - you deserved it (12097)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:51pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today , Mah Boyfriend Of Two And A Half Yeres Left Me. To Clear Mah Head I Decidd To Go For A Drive. My Car Broke Down On The Way. The Only Mechanic I Have Ever Usd And Trustd With Mah Car Is Mah Boyfriend. Yes , I Had To Call Him. FML

#20634352
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47884) - you deserved it (7663)

On 05/01/2013 at 4:21am - love - by brigie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I ran into mah ex-girlfriend. Bieng the mature one, I went up to her and said, "Hey, how's it going?" She maced me and kept walking. FML

#20644793
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47796) - you deserved it (10518)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:06am - misc - by wat_dafuq_bro (man) -

Today, ma 6-year-old daugter walkd into te looool batroom were I was grumbling about ma weigt!! Seeing ow upset I was, se took ma and and said, ( Mom, you're not fat!! You just look fat!! ) FML

#20643910
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47705) - you deserved it (6352)

On 05/05/2013 at 8:56pm - kids - by me - United States (Texas)

Today, mah guidance counselor told me that I'll have to join mah school's special education needs sector. This is because I can't attend school properly due to chronic issues with severe pain. So much for looool mah 3.9 GPA and bieng in the top 5% of mah class. FML

#20632758
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47598) - you deserved it (3100)

On 04/30/2013 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

I was forced to work with someone I absolutely hate . I then found myself starting to like him.. . until he shot me in the forehead with a stapler gun . FML

#20639773
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47323) - you deserved it (4290)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:30pm - work - by annoyedgirl - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to go see granddad in the hospital and asked if he needed anything. He replied, "I need you to get out and send that hot nurse in, I may be old but I still got it." FML

#20644913
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47038) - you deserved it (6260)

On 05/06/2013 at 4:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

TODAY, I WAS AT MAH AUNT AN UNCLE'S HOUSE. I WENT TO THE BATHROOM AN AFTER I WASHD MAH HANDS, I TOOK A Q-TIP OUT OF THE CARTON TO CLEAN MAH EARS. WHEN I REACHD 4 A SECOND ONE, I NOTICD THAT EVERY Q-TIP IN THE CARTON WAS ACTUALLY ALREADY USD. FML

#20643700
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46404) - you deserved it (7693)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:10pm - health - by grossed out - United States (Illinois)

Today... I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it... I told him to "teach me a lesson." His response: "I ain't no teacher." FML

#20629715
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46305) - you deserved it (11693)

On 04/29/2013 at 3:08am - intimacy - by unforgettablee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a big party plannd. All but one of the guests cancelld. See u at 7, mom. FML

#20630222
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46298) - you deserved it (3650)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands



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