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Thursday 21 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

#20548943
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45064) - you deserved it (13555)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland

Today, after I had changed my number to get away from my abusive ex, my mom decided to give him my new one. She insists that I need to give him another chance. FML

#20556707
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44971) - you deserved it (2134)

On 03/23/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I finally got to meet my boyfriend's parents; it turns out that his mum is my therapist. I've just spent an entire morning telling her how confused I am about my sexuality. FML

#20553373
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43966) - you deserved it (5744)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:25am - misc - by me (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I kissed my gorgeous new boyfriend for the first time. I ran my hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out and five lice crawled onto my hand. FML

#20554606
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43910) - you deserved it (5836)

On 03/22/2013 at 1:28am - love - by eww. (woman) - Australia

Today, my now ex-girlfriend posted on Facebook that I called her a "fucking bitch". Our mutual friends were all outraged, and demanded that I treat her with respect. What she failed to mention was that I said it after finding out that she's been sleeping with my "best friend" for the past year. FML

#20564269
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43416) - you deserved it (3026)

On 03/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Hellosinglelife (man) - Trinidad and Tobago (Saint George)

Today, a few months after my co-worker had stopped wearing her engagement ring, I decided to put on the moves and start flirting with her. I soon found out that her fiancé had died, and that she's nowhere near over him, despite her brave face. I feel like a total asshole. FML

#20558292
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42179) - you deserved it (21812)

On 03/24/2013 at 5:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that from now on during sex, I have to be on top at all times, saying I need the exercise more than him. As offensive as this was, I was actually happy because he's crap on top. FML

#20549126
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42050) - you deserved it (7967)

On 03/18/2013 at 10:36am - intimacy - by Ann (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a chicken nugget fetish. He wants me to take a chicken nugget bath in a bikini. He seems to be dead serious. FML

#20549296
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42029) - you deserved it (4321)

On 03/18/2013 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by chickenmcnuggetgirl (woman) - Ireland (Meath)

Today, my superstitious girlfriend of 4 years sneezed in the middle of my proposal. She claimed it was a sign from the universe for us to break up and then immediately left. FML

#20550300
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41653) - you deserved it (3143)

On 03/19/2013 at 12:40am - love - by lanz4949 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML

#20562430
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41364) - you deserved it (3311)

On 03/27/2013 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out I'm failing school. Why am I failing? Because I work 60 hours a week. Why do I work 60 hours a week? To pay for school. FML

#20563641
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41294) - you deserved it (4365)

On 03/28/2013 at 10:26am - work - by school issues - United States

Today, an attractive guy came up to me and told me that I looked sexy in a picture online. He then asked himself why he had never asked me out before. Apparently, he doesn't remember our 6-month relationship, or how it ended when he slept with my sister. FML

#20548927
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41282) - you deserved it (2979)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:28am - love - by mcds2 (woman) - United States

Today, I was on a girls' trip in Las Vegas. I met a cute guy at a bar and we were going back to his hotel room together. On the way up, he asked me how much it would cost. FML

#20564361
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41147) - you deserved it (18074)

On 03/28/2013 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by Hooker (woman) - United States



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