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Tuesday 12 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got a new roommate after having a horrible relationship with the previous one. She seemed nice at first, until our first night together. She got completely wasted, spilled beer all over my bed and blew chunks into my fish tank. FML

#20513351
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29500) - you deserved it (2668)

On 02/19/2013 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that my cat recently had explosive diarrhea, and couldn't make it to the litterbox in time. I discovered this when I stepped in the very, very fresh poop with my bare feet. FML

#20503744
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28579) - you deserved it (3903)

On 02/12/2013 at 3:15pm - animals - by Turdfoot (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML

#20505035
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28390) - you deserved it (5699)

On 02/13/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by please leave... - United States (Texas)

Today, I was terribly late for class, so I rushed to the classroom door, thinking it was unlocked. I smacked face-first into the glass, and awkwardly fell to the floor. Once I got back up, I peeked through the glass, only to realise it wasn't even my class. FML

#20505090
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28246) - you deserved it (8100)

On 02/13/2013 at 3:31pm - misc - by nosebleeder - Sweden

Today, I had to take my fiancé to the hospital so they could remove a tampon applicator that he claimed he somehow "fell onto". It was lodged up his nostril. I'm marrying this man in a week. FML

#20508531
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28240) - you deserved it (4820)

On 02/15/2013 at 6:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Venezuela (Lara)

Today, I found out that my upstairs neighbor has a cat. I was blessed with this knowledge when she threw several piles of used kitty litter and cat poop over her balcony and onto my patio. FML

#20509867
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28168) - you deserved it (2005)

On 02/16/2013 at 7:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML

#20509972
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28086) - you deserved it (6456)

On 02/16/2013 at 9:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML

#20503190
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27972) - you deserved it (3224)

On 02/12/2013 at 12:55am - love - by BadLuckCarson - United States (Iowa)

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

#20503655
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27474) - you deserved it (2903)

On 02/12/2013 at 1:43pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had to use a dictionary before I realized I was being flirted with. FML

#20506101
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27011) - you deserved it (11368)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:01am - love - by lex - United States

Today, a guy wolf-whistled me as I walked to the shop wearing comfy joggers, no makeup and my hair scraped back. Feeling rather pleased about it, I told my best friend and my fiancé. Their unanimous conclusion: the guy must have been drunk or taking hallucinogenic drugs. FML

Today, after spending six months completely repainting and redecorating our new home, I finally finished the last touches and went to remove the masking tape. Off came the tape, along with huge blotches of plasterwork. FML

#20503623
94 comments


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