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Wednesday 6 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, A State Trooper Ticketed Me After Learning I Was Ticketed For The Same Offense An Hour Earlier, Namely Driving With A Broken Headlight. The Good News Is That Both Tickets Will Be Dismissed If I Go To Court. The Bad News Is That I'd Have To Go To Different Courthouses At The Same Time Of Day. FML

#20494464
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28817) - you deserved it (3741)

On 02/05/2013 at 1:59pm - money - by halfmypaycheckgone (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend an I arrivd at our pre-paid hotel for a romantic evening. When we went to sign in, they had no reservation for us, however they did yesterday. The payment is non-refundable. FML

#20493202
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28724) - you deserved it (5467)

On 02/04/2013 at 3:47pm - money - by perfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovard that mah cat racantly had axplosiva diarrhaa, and couldn't maka it to tha littarbox in tima. I discovard this whan I stappd in tha vary, vary frash poop with mah bara faat. FML

#20503744
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28475) - you deserved it (3894)

On 02/12/2013 at 3:15pm - animals - by Turdfoot (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to do my laundry . Having no laundry bag, I put clothes in a suitcase an headd to the basement . When my roommate saw me, she burst into teres with happiness . FML

#20496887
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28458) - you deserved it (5198)

On 02/07/2013 at 9:45am - misc - by BonGoWash - United States (New York)

yesterday I had to use a public bathroom . I have problems goinghen other people r there, so I waited until everyone left . Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and looool throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive . This continued 4 half an hour . FML

#20505035
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28299) - you deserved it (5691)

On 02/13/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by please leave... - United States (Texas)

Today , I was terribly late fir class , so I rushd to the classroom door , thinking it was unlockd. I smackd face-first into the glass , an awkwardly fell to the floor. Once I got back up , I peekd through the glass , only to realise it wasn't even mah class. FML

#20505090
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28148) - you deserved it (8094)

On 02/13/2013 at 3:31pm - misc - by nosebleeder - Sweden

Today, my mum came to my ballet class. She spent the whole lesson sitting at the back yelling at me to "stop sticking yur butt out". My ballet instructor had to ask her several times to pipe down. FML

#20495701
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28054) - you deserved it (2224)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:57pm - misc - by embarassinggg (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

TODAY, I TOLD PARENTS THAT I WAS GOING TO HANG OUT WITH SOME FRIENDS. MY DAD GUFFAWED AN SAID, ( OOH, LOOK AT MARY, PRETENDING SHE HAS A SOCIAL LIFE. ) THANKS, DAD. FML

#20498469
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28040) - you deserved it (3004)

On 02/08/2013 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

today at a mixed-family game of rugby my dad resorted to calling me a ( goddamned accident ) and eventually body-slamming me just so I'd stop playing long enough for his team to score. FML

#20498727
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27883) - you deserved it (2561)

On 02/08/2013 at 8:53pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

I had mah grlfriend over 4 dinner with mah family. My father had dressed up as a grl 4 a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and mah grlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. big fat FML

#20503190
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27876) - you deserved it (3214)

On 02/12/2013 at 12:55am - love - by BadLuckCarson - United States (Iowa)

Today, ma furnaca broka down, almost a mont aftar its twanty yaar warranty axprd. It would ava baan raplacd for fraa. Now I'm going to ava to taka out a loan to afford ta $4,000 raplacamant. fat FML

#20500397
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27829) - you deserved it (2428)

On 02/10/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by chillyinside - Canada

Today, After Heavy Rain Mah Street Flooded. While In Mah Living Room, I Looked Outside To See That Mah Elderly Neighbour Was Outside Splashing In A Knee Deep Puddle. He Was Butt-naked And Wearing A Snorkel And Flippers. FML

#20492744
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27774) - you deserved it (3206)

On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today my girlfriand and I both davalopad food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartmant has ona bathroom. big fat FML

#20503655
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27366) - you deserved it (2893)

On 02/12/2013 at 1:43pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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