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Sunday 3 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was running late for work and quickly grabbed my outfit from the dryer. I heard the crackling of static as I took out my shirt. I didn't think anything of it, until later when my co-worker pointed out I had a thong stuck to my back. FML

#20491168
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26021) - you deserved it (6993)

On 02/03/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively searching the place for god knows what kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure they're not poisoned. FML

#20501281
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25744) - you deserved it (2451)

On 02/10/2013 at 6:13pm - misc - by obsequiousfannyflapper (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth closed, snot will spray from my nose all over the place like some kind of mucus cannon. FML

#20484952
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25730) - you deserved it (5866)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I spun off the road and into a ditch. The insurance company told me I'd have to wait an hour, as they had other cars to tow first. I had to pee so badly that I resorted to using the only thing I had in my car: a plastic bag. That's when I got a knock on my window from the tow truck driver. FML

#20489830
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25564) - you deserved it (5386)

On 02/02/2013 at 1:57am - misc - by merp. (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, really desperate to get a job, I filled out an application for a dishwashing job. My application got tossed out, because I'm not an economics major like the other guy applying for the same job. FML

#20500922
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25423) - you deserved it (2172)

On 02/10/2013 at 12:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I was moving into my new apartment. The previous owner had refused to move out until today, and when I got there, I realized I didn't have a key. I was about to call him when I found out I didn't need to; he took the door. FML

#20486186
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25378) - you deserved it (1713)

On 01/30/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by jeoak - India

Today, my mom started referring to me as "The Bitch". When I asked her why, she said that I have always been a bitch, but I was never old enough for her to actually call me a bitch. FML

#20501686
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25348) - you deserved it (6579)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:26pm - misc - by maggu (woman) - Denmark

Today, my furnace broke down, almost a month after its twenty year warranty expired. It would have been replaced for free. Now I'm going to have to take out a loan to afford the $4,000 replacement. FML

#20500397
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25262) - you deserved it (2198)

On 02/10/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by chillyinside - Canada

Today, while checking out a couple at work, I handed them their receipt and wished them a good day. The woman promptly pulled her husband to the side, and whispered to him about how much of a "fucking idiot" I was for making the prices so high. I work at McDonald's. FML

#20488361
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25211) - you deserved it (1931)

On 01/31/2013 at 11:06pm - work - by stupidapperently (woman) - United States

Today, I casually mentioned to my dad that it was the Chinese New Year yesterday. He accused me of insulting his intelligence by "making stupid shit up." I explained that it's real, and that we just use the Gregorian calendar, hence the different dates. He responded by grounding me. FML

#20501411
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25053) - you deserved it (2971)

On 02/10/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by must be adopted (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother "checked in" to rehab on Facebook. The same rehab that told her to hand over her smartphone. The dumbass was smart enough to steal my phone and dumb enough to get it confiscated. FML

#20485491
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24791) - you deserved it (2326)

On 01/29/2013 at 10:18pm - health - by motherless - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I desperately needed to pee, so I decided to confront my anxiety issues and use a public toilet. I opened the lid, only to see several huge, rancid floaters staring back at me. I had an attack, started sobbing, and pissed myself on the way home. Never again. FML

#20489333
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24761) - you deserved it (7855)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:53pm - misc - by VMV (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)



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