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Sunday 3 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend gave me the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen. As I excitedly put it on my finger, he told me it wasn't an engagement ring, but I should wear it like one to keep other men away and seem "unapproachable". FML

#20488292
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31319) - you deserved it (4068)

On 01/31/2013 at 10:35pm - love - by whatsername92 (woman) - United States

Today, I finally figured out why I've been getting diarrhea so often over the past six months. It only happens whenever I do something "sneaky". My body reacts strongly to how I stress over potentially getting caught. I'm a private investigator, and I apparently need a new career. FML

#20500655
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31215) - you deserved it (3774)

On 02/10/2013 at 5:41am - work - by screwed - United States

Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML

#20489987
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31019) - you deserved it (19819)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by ineedalife (woman) - Australia

Today, my manager asked me for the password to my Internet so she could Skype family since she can't pay her bill. This is the same woman who just a week ago tried to evict me because my rent was an hour late. Trying to be the bigger person, I gave her the password. She changed my password. FML

#20496640
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30907) - you deserved it (16351)

On 02/07/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked my bosses for three weeks off in July to go on a much-needed vacation. Their response was to fire me on the spot. My bosses are my aunt and uncle. FML

#20489213
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30782) - you deserved it (3526)

On 02/01/2013 at 5:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Romania (Cluj)

Today, I hired out a motel room so I could stay there by myself and lie to my mother and grandmother about having friends. This is the third time. FML

#20492687
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30691) - you deserved it (13814)

On 02/04/2013 at 2:45am - love - by lonelyloser - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my 5-year-old nephew had the most amazing idea: to play a game with my keys. He took out all ten keys individually and hid them around the house. So far it's been two hours and I haven't found a single one. FML

#20485810
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30604) - you deserved it (3592)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:03am - kids - by idislikeblanks (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my best friend has been stealing hundreds of dollars from me and my fiancé. My wedding is tomorrow morning. Guess who my best man is. FML

#20483262
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30520) - you deserved it (2469)

On 01/28/2013 at 4:01pm - love - by weddingsalwayssuck - United States (New York)

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

#20491900
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30516) - you deserved it (4275)

On 02/03/2013 at 6:04pm - love - by FUCK GOD (man) - Argentina (Salta)

Today, I found out that my roommate has been switching my protein powder with chocolate milk mix and brown sugar. Since I work out frequently, I've been consuming large amounts of this and have gained at least 10 pounds of fat. His reason? I turned his bookbag inside out. Once. FML

#20485077
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30430) - you deserved it (8300)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:56pm - health - by fatty milkshakes - United States

Today, at my retail job, a woman came to my till with her purchases. After I scanned all her items, she handed me two small bags. One was filled with nickels and dimes. The other was filled with cents. Her total was $28.53. The coins amounted to $22.30. FML

#20490092
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30286) - you deserved it (2376)

On 02/02/2013 at 9:53am - work - by fuckedbyretail (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

#20495511
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30280) - you deserved it (4339)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist. He broke a whole stack of plates, overflowed the bathtub, let the dog loose, and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down. My son is 17. FML

#20495428
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30160) - you deserved it (32053)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States



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