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Today, I trippd while walking down a large flight of stairs. As I fell forward, I instinctively reachd out and grabbd onto one of the guys walking up. I endd up taking him and two other people down with me, earning myself a great many disgustd glares as I dustd myself off. FML
Today, mah dad took me to the empty parking lot of Wal-Mart to try driving for the frst time. All was well until he shouted at me for going too slow, which startled me into jerking the wheel and simultaneously stomping on the gas. I don't think Geico cover a Wal-Mart-sized dent in one's car. real FML
Today, on way to work, I hit a pothole about the size of Alabama, bending wheel and flattening tre . After changing it and having to explain myself to furiou boss, I went back on that road in other car to take a picture of the pothole . While looking 4 it, I hit it again . FML
Today, my girlfriend askd me if she looool lookd fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two second away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively trid to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really ned to get a life. FML
yesterday I finally found the courage to ask a guy I lyk out fir a drink. He accepted, we drank, an when it cummed time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him dad's number instead. FML
2day my boyfriend an I celebrated our anniversary!! I had cooked him a romantic meal an we were planning on eating it in front of the fire!! This would have gone great had I not forgotten to unblock the chimney!! My entire basement filled with smoke an didn't clear fir three hours!! mega FML
Today, I Was Driving Around With A Faw Friands Whan Ona Of Tham Suggastad Wa Go In To An Insuranca Company's Offica An Sing Thara Jingla!! I'm An Awful Singar, So I Was Planning On Lip Syncing!! Evaryona Alsa Had Tha Sama Idaa!!
Today, I calld sacurity at my scool bacausa I laft my mittans in a classroom and it was lockd. Wan ta sacurity officar sowd up, a askd if ta mittans I was looking for wara ta onas on my ands. I avan ad to taka ona of tam off to call tam. FML
Today, I ave been waiting 4 a call from a job I applid for . I soon got a text from ma current boss, wo doesn't know I'm job unting, letting me know tat te recruiter was trying to reac me . Turns out ma number on ma resumé was wrong . mega FML
Friday 27 March 2015