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Tuesday 29 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML

#20489987
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31831) - you deserved it (20504)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by ineedalife (woman) - Australia

Today, I woke up to a voice-mail from my manager saying I had the day off. Excited, I made plans with my friends. A few minutes ago I got a call from my other manager yelling at me for not showing up, and the original manager revealed he had me confused with another girl. FML

#20491470
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31459) - you deserved it (1980)

On 02/03/2013 at 11:22am - work - by TheBaconater - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out my best friend has been stealing hundreds of dollars from me and my fiancé. My wedding is tomorrow morning. Guess who my best man is. FML

#20483262
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31379) - you deserved it (2538)

On 01/28/2013 at 4:01pm - love - by weddingsalwayssuck - United States (New York)

Today, my 5-year-old nephew had the most amazing idea: to play a game with my keys. He took out all ten keys individually and hid them around the house. So far it's been two hours and I haven't found a single one. FML

#20485810
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31339) - you deserved it (3675)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:03am - kids - by idislikeblanks (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML

#20484554
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31204) - you deserved it (3133)

On 01/29/2013 at 9:51am - health - by oh no (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I asked my bosses for three weeks off in July to go on a much-needed vacation. Their response was to fire me on the spot. My bosses are my aunt and uncle. FML

#20489213
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31050) - you deserved it (3547)

On 02/01/2013 at 5:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Romania (Cluj)

Today, my fiancé's mother came up to me and told me she loves that I stuck with my soon-to-be husband despite his history and condition. I have no idea what she's talking about, and she refuses to tell me. FML

#20485066
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30985) - you deserved it (2527)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:46pm - love - by Aspireworks - United States

Today, at my retail job, a woman came to my till with her purchases. After I scanned all her items, she handed me two small bags. One was filled with nickels and dimes. The other was filled with cents. Her total was $28.53. The coins amounted to $22.30. FML

#20490092
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30889) - you deserved it (2412)

On 02/02/2013 at 9:53am - work - by fuckedbyretail (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a state trooper ticketed me after learning I was ticketed for the same offense an hour earlier, namely driving with a broken headlight. The good news is that both tickets will be dismissed if I go to court. The bad news is that I'd have to go to different courthouses at the same time of day. FML

#20494464
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30845) - you deserved it (3934)

On 02/05/2013 at 1:59pm - money - by halfmypaycheckgone (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth closed, snot will spray from my nose all over the place like some kind of mucus cannon. FML

#20484952
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30806) - you deserved it (6531)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was on the treadmill at the gym, when I felt my pants start slipping. I tried to pull them up, but lost my balance and fell face-first onto the floor. When I go to my wedding tomorrow, half the guests will probably think I've exchanged my fiancé for Chris Brown. FML

#20489307
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30647) - you deserved it (4300)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil

Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML

#20485216
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30611) - you deserved it (3138)

On 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm - love - by theawfulpresent (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, most of my neighbours came to my house in an angry mob to complain about my dog barking. I don't have a dog. FML

#20488553
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30410) - you deserved it (2056)

On 02/01/2013 at 1:09am - animals - by Angry Mob - Australia (New South Wales)



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