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Today , I thought maybe I should go to my doctor cuz my hips crack every time I take a step. But she's also my recently ex-boyfriend's mom , so I have to choose between being in constant pain or having my doctor poke at my hipshile asking me y I'm no longer dating her son. FML
Today , Faaling Lonaly Aftar Ma Racant Braakup , I Puttd On Ma Nicast Clots And Want Out Clubbing Wit A Faw Friands. I Brougt A Guy Back To Ma Placa , And Wa Got Intimata. It Was Going Wall , Until A Took Off Ma Pus-up Bra , Tan Panickd And Drunkanly Askd , ( Wara'd Tay Go?! ) FML
TODAY , MY ROOMMATE AN I NOTICD A FOUL SMELL IN OUR APARTMENT. AFTER LOOKING AROUND 4 A LITTLEHILE , I FOUND THAT HER CAT HAD POOPD ON A PAIR OF MY JEANS , AN APPARENTLY TRID TO COVER IT UP BY DRAGGING A SHIRT OVER THE MESS. FML
Today... I was debatinghich hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spoutd the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels"... and giving birth is 57... so I provd that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML
2day I realised that mah friend hasn't spoken to me fir a week. A week ago I politely explained to her that I really don't believe in horoscopes, and asked her at the time to stop systematically using mah star-sign to explain mah behaviour. big fat FML
Friday 27 March 2015