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Saturday 19 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my friend set me up on a blind date, to get my mind off having been recently broken up with. The guy was perfect: tall, muscular, handsome. But while we were watching a movie, I saw him dig around in his nose, then wipe his finger on my pants. FML

#20474869
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28530) - you deserved it (2787)

On 01/23/2013 at 1:44pm - love - by Stickysituation - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML

#20469621
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28171) - you deserved it (2432)

On 01/20/2013 at 2:28pm - love - by maybe dead in a day (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my mom barged into my room at three in the morning, demanding to know where I'd been. I'd been in my room sleeping since ten o'clock. In that time she had called the police, all of my friends, and my ex-boyfriend, asking if I was with them. FML

#20479024
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27760) - you deserved it (1410)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by Sarah - United States

Today, I visited my family. Over the course of 2 hours, my brother punched me, and my mom slapped me across the face after drinking way too much wine. When I started gathering my things to leave, my mom started crying about how I don't visit enough. FML

#20474780
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27391) - you deserved it (1943)

On 01/23/2013 at 12:45pm - misc - by mariama (woman) - United States

Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML

#20460160
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27170) - you deserved it (2118)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by Brooke - United States (California)

Today, I got married. I'm Jewish, and it's traditional to break a glass cup by stepping on it after giving the bride her ring. My brother thought it would be funny to replace the glass cup with a rubber one. I slipped and fell flat on my back. FML

#20478247
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27169) - you deserved it (2607)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML

#20471171
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27027) - you deserved it (5690)

On 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family. Instead of a happy reunion, I was terribly emasculated, publicly, for bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML

#20458802
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26949) - you deserved it (2269)

On 01/14/2013 at 10:47am - misc - by badenoughflowers - United States (Texas)

Today, I attended my aunt's open-casket funeral. My sister spent the first quarter of an hour neither grieving nor celebrating her life, but whining that the "cute" clothes my aunt was dressed in could have been handed down to her, instead of being "wasted". FML

Today, my mum excitedly discussed with me the prospect of starting a mother-son YouTube duo. Thinking she was joking, I went along with it. She is now installing a 24-hour webcam in the house to record our conversations, which she perceives as hilarious, and is going to upload them. FML

#20458570
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26821) - you deserved it (6922)

On 01/14/2013 at 5:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I came home to find two letters from a publishing house that I'd submitted my manuscript to. The first was congratulatory, stating that my book had been accepted for publishing. The second was apologetic, stating that the first letter had been intended for someone else. FML

#20479103
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26636) - you deserved it (1241)

On 01/26/2013 at 1:14am - work - by strugglingartist (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I walked into the bathroom only to see my boyfriend sitting on the floor eating ice cream, crying. I'd say I was shocked, but this isn't the first time it's happened. FML

#20458512
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26581) - you deserved it (4700)

On 01/14/2013 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Montana)

Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, because the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. FML

#20463224
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26387) - you deserved it (2931)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)



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