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Sunday 13 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after getting into an argument with my dad, he told me that I would make a great ex wife one day. FML

#20467602
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30005) - you deserved it (6747)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:51am - love - by Claire - United States (Maryland)

Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML

#20455481
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29723) - you deserved it (4797)

On 01/12/2013 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my husband and I finally agreed on something: marriage counseling. FML

#20455127
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29602) - you deserved it (5975)

On 01/12/2013 at 10:28am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, an elderly gentleman came into my store complaining of a toothache, so I showed him where the Orajel was located. He then insisted on making a big scene, claiming that I really had the magic touch and if I would just stroke his cheek all his pain would go away. FML

#20464379
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29589) - you deserved it (2744)

On 01/17/2013 at 11:57am - work - by lifebecrazed (woman) -

Today, trying to be sweet, I told my girlfriend that I'm so happy we met one another. She muttered, "Well, that makes one of us." FML

#20453944
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29538) - you deserved it (2844)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:22pm - misc - by wtf did i do?? (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while living in Florida, I had a conversation with my mother explaining that it might be best for me to come back home. Her response, "Don't worry, they have plenty of homeless shelters down there if you need a place to stay." Thanks Mom. FML

#20458436
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29439) - you deserved it (3489)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:51am - misc - by living_thedream (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

#20446350
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29433) - you deserved it (3038)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by Sawarski - United States

Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML

#20468586
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29393) - you deserved it (9268)

On 01/19/2013 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, after battling for hours to get just a little sleep before my early morning work shift, I finally began drifting off. Then I got the worst attack of hiccups in my life. FML

#20465041
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29271) - you deserved it (2618)

On 01/17/2013 at 7:39pm - misc - by FMyThroat (woman) - Peru (Lima)

Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML

#20466782
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29052) - you deserved it (14870)

On 01/18/2013 at 7:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland

Today, management told me that I couldn't have a doorbell on my door. How did they get my attention to tell me this? By ringing my doorbell. FML

#20462282
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28967) - you deserved it (3017)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:21am - misc - by pigtails (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, my wife has the flu, while I have strep throat. We have a two-year-old toddler and have no clue as to who's more contagious and who should take care of her as to not get her sick. Yay for the entire day of surgical masks and Sesame Street. FML

#20448554
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28898) - you deserved it (2550)

On 01/08/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Curly (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML

#20445704
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28856) - you deserved it (6313)

On 01/07/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by areyoukiddingme (woman) - United States



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