Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Sunday 13 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realised in the middle of my shift how useless my deodorant is in the stifling heatwave spreading through my country. It's no longer effective against my awful B.O., which is a problem because I'm a mascot, and my costume traps the smell inside like a portable toilet. FML

#20469816
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28103) - you deserved it (4443)

On 01/20/2013 at 5:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my hamster died. It climbed out of its cage and jumped off my dresser. Looking for condolences, I told my mom who replied, "If I lived in your room, I would have done it earlier." FML

#20453156
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27955) - you deserved it (7551)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:09am - animals - by deadhammy (man) - United States (California)

Today, while living in Florida, I had a conversation with my mother explaining that it might be best for me to come back home. Her response, "Don't worry, they have plenty of homeless shelters down there if you need a place to stay." Thanks Mom. FML

#20458436
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27806) - you deserved it (3338)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:51am - misc - by living_thedream (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML

#20455481
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27584) - you deserved it (4567)

On 01/12/2013 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my dad learned that it's possible to power a lightbulb with a potato. Since then, he's been going around the house removing all the plugs from the wall and plugging them into potatoes instead. He's absolutely baffled as to why it won't work. FML

#20450090
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27548) - you deserved it (2356)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:23pm - misc - by Darkandcold - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, an elderly gentleman came into my store complaining of a toothache, so I showed him where the Orajel was located. He then insisted on making a big scene, claiming that I really had the magic touch and if I would just stroke his cheek all his pain would go away. FML

#20464379
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27500) - you deserved it (2584)

On 01/17/2013 at 11:57am - work - by lifebecrazed (woman) -

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

#20446350
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27251) - you deserved it (2846)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by Sawarski - United States

Today, after battling for hours to get just a little sleep before my early morning work shift, I finally began drifting off. Then I got the worst attack of hiccups in my life. FML

#20465041
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27186) - you deserved it (2427)

On 01/17/2013 at 7:39pm - misc - by FMyThroat (woman) - Peru (Lima)

Today, management told me that I couldn't have a doorbell on my door. How did they get my attention to tell me this? By ringing my doorbell. FML

#20462282
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27064) - you deserved it (2866)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:21am - misc - by pigtails (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML

#20445835
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27030) - you deserved it (5303)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:35am - love - by kat124ever (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)

Today, my husband and I finally agreed on something: marriage counseling. FML

#20455127
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27005) - you deserved it (5666)

On 01/12/2013 at 10:28am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML

#20468586
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26895) - you deserved it (8917)

On 01/19/2013 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML

#20445704
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26637) - you deserved it (6001)

On 01/07/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by areyoukiddingme (woman) - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: