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Saturday 12 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today,ile reading an erotic story I was more excitd tat te autor usd a conjunctive adverb tan te sexual content in te story. FML

#20456501
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28713) - you deserved it (11432)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by frustrated - United States (Florida)

Today an elderly gentleman cummd into store complaining of a toothache so I showd him where the Orajel was locatd. He then insistd on making a big scene claiming that I really had the magic touch and if I would just stroke his cheek all his pain would go away. real FML

#20464379
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28698) - you deserved it (2678)

On 01/17/2013 at 11:57am - work - by lifebecrazed (woman) -

TODAY, SOMEONE BROKE INTO CAR BY SMASHING THE DRIVER'S SIDE WINDOW. I'D BE LESS RRITATED IF THEY HAD JUST USED THE DOOR HANDLE; THE LOCK HAS BEEN BROKEN FIR YERES. BIG FAT FML

#20467580
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28646) - you deserved it (3072)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:14am - money - by Perplexed - United States (South Dakota)

Today, after months of searching an several emotional breakdowns, I finally found a new job. My wife's words of encouragement? "Try not to fuck this one up." FML

#20464089
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28626) - you deserved it (8801)

On 01/17/2013 at 5:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, Ma 14-year-old Son Sowed Me A ( Bird's Egg ) E Was Looking After In Is Room. It Was A Dried Up Dog Turd. FML

#20451321
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28350) - you deserved it (7434)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:28am - kids - by Facepalmum (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

yesterday my usband and I finally agreed on someting: marriage counseling. real FML

#20455127
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28339) - you deserved it (5835)

On 01/12/2013 at 10:28am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, dua to tachnical problams, I had to call tha company's IT-support as my computar want totally haywra. I axplaind via phona that I couldn't accas anything. Tha support than trid contacting ma by a-mail and got upsat with ma whan I didn't answar. FML

#20463766
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28187) - you deserved it (2005)

On 01/17/2013 at 12:03am - work - by Beva (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today , mah hamster died . It climbed out of its cage an jumped off mah dresser . Looking 4 condolences , I told mah momho replied , "If I lived in yur room , I would have done it earlier." real FML

#20453156
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28062) - you deserved it (7558)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:09am - animals - by deadhammy (man) - United States (California)

2day At An Open Mic Comedy Club, Mah Jokes Went Down So Poorly That Someone Decided To Hurl A Chair At Me On-stage. FML

#20466782
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27996) - you deserved it (14545)

On 01/18/2013 at 7:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland

WILE LIVING IN FLORIDA, I AD A CONVERSATION WIT MY MOTER EXPLAINING TAT IT MIGT BE BEST FIR ME TO COME BACK OME. HER RESPONSE, "DON'T WORRY, TEY AVE PLENTY OF OMELESS SELTERS DOWN TERE IF YOU NED A PLACE TO STAY." TANKS MOM. FML

#20458436
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27990) - you deserved it (3352)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:51am - misc - by living_thedream (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out 4 my boyfriend, telling him how much I love an adore him!! He answered by leaning in close, saying ( Jolly good ) in an affected accent, an burping loud an clear in my ear!! FML

#20455481
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27671) - you deserved it (4577)

On 01/12/2013 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

yesterday mah girlfriend and I took a nap on mah couch. She used mah arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated mah shoulder. My screams of pain woke her,hich was apparently an "asshole move" on mah part. FML

#20446350
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27358) - you deserved it (2852)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by Sawarski - United States

Today, after battling for hours to get just a little sleep before mah early morning work shift, I finally began drifting off . Then I got the worst attack of hiccups in mah life . mega FML

#20465041
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27281) - you deserved it (2432)

On 01/17/2013 at 7:39pm - misc - by FMyThroat (woman) - Peru (Lima)



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