Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Saturday 12 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, when I asked my boss why my bonus was cut in half, he replied, "I have no idea what you really do." I'm the IT Manager. FML

#20465650
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25555) - you deserved it (2172)

On 01/18/2013 at 12:53am - money - by Anon - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up after sleeping with my boyfriend for the first time. I rolled over and smiled at him, and the first thing he said was, "You farted. A lot." FML

#20446049
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25504) - you deserved it (5487)

On 01/07/2013 at 10:40am - love - by gassy - United States (Texas)

Today, while living in Florida, I had a conversation with my mother explaining that it might be best for me to come back home. Her response, "Don't worry, they have plenty of homeless shelters down there if you need a place to stay." Thanks Mom. FML

#20458436
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25344) - you deserved it (3127)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:51am - misc - by living_thedream (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML

#20466782
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24863) - you deserved it (13587)

On 01/18/2013 at 7:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland

Today, I walked up sixteen flights of stairs to my room to avoid the lift lines. When I was almost to the top, the fire alarm sounded. FML

#20462640
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24825) - you deserved it (2325)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:02pm - misc - by tired - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, management told me that I couldn't have a doorbell on my door. How did they get my attention to tell me this? By ringing my doorbell. FML

#20462282
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24674) - you deserved it (2645)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:21am - misc - by pigtails (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML

#20451321
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24605) - you deserved it (7051)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:28am - kids - by Facepalmum (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML

#20448490
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24528) - you deserved it (4499)

On 01/08/2013 at 6:56pm - animals - by life// (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband and I finally agreed on something: marriage counseling. FML

#20455127
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24528) - you deserved it (5391)

On 01/12/2013 at 10:28am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

#20462817
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24528) - you deserved it (3878)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML

#20446338
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24493) - you deserved it (4167)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML

#20445704
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24474) - you deserved it (5681)

On 01/07/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by areyoukiddingme (woman) - United States

Today, I realized I'm so lonely that I get comfort from hearing my neighbor snore through my apartment wall. FML



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: