Thursday 10 January 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26613) - you deserved it (6187)
On 01/12/2013 at 12:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)
Today, my mum excitedly discussed with me the prospect of starting a mother-son YouTube duo. Thinking she was joking, I went along with it. She is now installing a 24-hour webcam in the house to record our conversations, which she perceives as hilarious, and is going to upload them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26587) - you deserved it (6889)
On 01/14/2013 at 5:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I walked into the bathroom only to see my boyfriend sitting on the floor eating ice cream, crying. I'd say I was shocked, but this isn't the first time it's happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26499) - you deserved it (4692)
On 01/14/2013 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Montana)
Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, because the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26285) - you deserved it (2921)
On 01/16/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I told my girlfriend that my identical twin and I are not in fact related, that he's adopted, and that the only reason we look exactly the same is because we eat and drink the same things. She actually believed it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26249) - you deserved it (6503)
On 01/11/2013 at 12:20am - misc - by datingablonde - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, after working the midnight shift at my job, I thought it would be nice to leave a sweet love note along with my boyfriend's favourite candy in his car. Upon finding it, he immediately broke up with me for "breaking into" his car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25864) - you deserved it (4218)
On 01/15/2013 at 7:14am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25712) - you deserved it (1832)
On 01/15/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by veggieluver (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I opened the door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25650) - you deserved it (2101)
On 01/12/2013 at 5:02pm - misc - by fucking mafia or what?? (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was the last person in line for going on the bus. Incidentally, I was right behind a guy way taller and wider than me. When he got on the bus, the bus driver immediately shut the door behind him. I was left outside chasing after the bus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25617) - you deserved it (1434)
On 01/16/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous -
Today, a bull escaped from the small farm down the street. It ended up in my yard and would not let me outside. I called animal control, who said, "We only deal with regular animals." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25572) - you deserved it (1277)
On 01/17/2013 at 10:48pm - animals - by bull-stuff - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25544) - you deserved it (6801)
On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia
Today, I was at the doctor's for a regular check-up. When my appointment was over and I was about to walk out, she yelled across the room in front of everyone, "Oh and if you could lose some weight, that'd be great." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25481) - you deserved it (4687)
On 01/16/2013 at 5:48am - health - by ChubbyButt (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was asked out by a friend of mine. He's a doctor and works at a prestigious hospital, so thinking we would eat somewhere special, I got all dressed up. We ended up eating at his hospital's cafeteria, because he gets a small employee discount. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25471) - you deserved it (5130)
On 01/11/2013 at 2:37pm - love - by wowthanks (woman) - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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