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Saturday 5 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, dad learnd that it's possible to power a lightbulb with a potato. Since then, he's been going around the house removing all the plugs from the wall and plugging them into potatoes instead. He's absolutely baffld as to y it won't work.

#20450090
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29030) - you deserved it (2474)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:23pm - misc - by Darkandcold - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today , I went to take a shower. Afterwards , I noticed I'd forgotten to bring a shrt to change into , so I putted on a towel and went back to mah room , only to witnes mah 14-year-old brother and a friend smelling mah bra , commenting on "how warm it is".

Today , I got frd from mah job because I "look too grumpy." FML

#20437963
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28913) - you deserved it (9388)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:28am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, Ma 14-year-old Son Sowed Me A ( Bird's Egg ) E Was Looking After In Is Room. It Was A Dried Up Dog Turd. FML

#20451321
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28350) - you deserved it (7434)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:28am - kids - by Facepalmum (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

yesterday my usband and I finally agreed on someting: marriage counseling. real FML

#20455127
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28339) - you deserved it (5835)

On 01/12/2013 at 10:28am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today,hile helping out at a retrement home, I had to get a book off a bookshelf. When I reachd up, my watch got stuck on my shrt, resulting in my shrt lifting up. I just flashd my man-boobs to at least 20 senior citizens, and one of them even askd if he could have a feel. mega FML

#20433442
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28065) - you deserved it (6082)

On 12/31/2012 at 2:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today , mah hamster died . It climbed out of its cage an jumped off mah dresser . Looking 4 condolences , I told mah momho replied , "If I lived in yur room , I would have done it earlier." real FML

#20453156
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28062) - you deserved it (7558)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:09am - animals - by deadhammy (man) - United States (California)

Today I had to download a parental block so mah dad would stop watching porn on mah laptop. big fat FML

#20441386
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28010) - you deserved it (1983)

On 01/03/2013 at 7:34pm - misc - by Tooyoungforthis (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today , I realizd my girlfriend makes the same exact noise in bd and when she eats!! I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover!! mega FML

#20444730
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27800) - you deserved it (3538)

On 01/06/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out 4 my boyfriend, telling him how much I love an adore him!! He answered by leaning in close, saying ( Jolly good ) in an affected accent, an burping loud an clear in my ear!! FML

#20455481
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27671) - you deserved it (4577)

On 01/12/2013 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

yesterday mah girlfriend and I took a nap on mah couch. She used mah arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated mah shoulder. My screams of pain woke her,hich was apparently an "asshole move" on mah part. FML

#20446350
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27358) - you deserved it (2852)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by Sawarski - United States

Today, Mah Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I'm Too "high Maintenance". And That's Because I Ask Him To Use Condoms When We Have Sex, An I Refuse To Invite Mah Friends Over Fir Threesomes. I Don't Know Why I'm Not Actually Glad We Are Broken Up. FML

#20445835
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27134) - you deserved it (5311)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:35am - love - by kat124ever (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)

Today I found out that there's something my new wife hates more than spiders. Black people. FML

#20441551
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27081) - you deserved it (5357)

On 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm - health - by WellShit (man) - United States (Minnesota)



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