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Friday 28 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Taday I went to a urinal next to an elderly gentleman. As I was doing mah business, he zips up and begins to leave. On his way out, he leans over mah shoulder andhispers in mah ear, ( That's nice ). FML

#20424687
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35696) - you deserved it (2851)

On 12/26/2012 at 11:03pm - misc - by hborkowski (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had a proper look at myself in the mirror. I have recently lost 5 lbs. Turns out that it mainly shows on boob. Not boobs. Boob. Right one only. FML

Today I found my dogs freezing outside. My neighbor was supposed to watch them while I was away an on my way home I called to let her know she should let them have a quick walk. She thought I'd be home soon enough that she wouldn't have to let them back in. It was minus 10c out. FML

#20436199
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34828) - you deserved it (3838)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:35pm - animals - by Enyo - Reserved

Taday I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. big fat FML

#20438667
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34827) - you deserved it (3135)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:59pm - love - by great. -

Today, I was at a café with mah friands whan an aldarly man noticad mah dimplas. Ha cummad up to ma, strokad tham whila whisparing, "Ona in a million" than walkad out. Now mah friands do this to ma constantly, avan whila driving homa. I almost hit a traa. looool FML

#20440419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34693) - you deserved it (3143)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I felt down, so I laid in bd and told my parents I needd some alone time. A couple of minutes later, one of them startd blasting ( All by Myself ) so loud that I felt the floorboards vibrate. FML

#20420113
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34334) - you deserved it (3787)

On 12/25/2012 at 12:00am - love - by all by myself - United States (Alaska)

Today... psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her thathen I offered last time... she raged at me for being "condescending". She responded by faking a heret attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML

#20421624
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33905) - you deserved it (2616)

On 12/25/2012 at 3:59pm - misc - by really mature, GRAN (woman) - United States (California)

Today , I'm sharing a hotel room with co-workers on a business trip. The walls are paper-thin , you could hear a pin drop , an I'm trying to make my explosive diarrhea as close to silent as possible. mega FML

#20431241
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33607) - you deserved it (2444)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:14am - work - by avoid the sour cream - United States

Yesterday, my friend putted my phone number on Craigslist. I still can't find the ad, but obviously everyone else can because I still haven't stopped recieving naked pictures. FML

#20419133
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33515) - you deserved it (3438)

On 12/24/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by Chanman1924 - United States

Taday my trunk froze shut with my Christma present inside . Since it was still shut, I went to the store . When I came out, some ice had melted and the trunk had popped open . All of my gifts were gone . FML

#20426934
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33425) - you deserved it (4651)

On 12/27/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by wheresmysweater - United States (North Carolina)

Today... I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him y I was there... he said I'd gotten too hot... so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML

#20422616
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33228) - you deserved it (3266)

On 12/25/2012 at 11:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after I finally laid down from a long day an was about to fall asleep, I realized I forgot to set mah alarm. I don't own an alarm clock an mah alarm is on mah phone. Which was in mah car. I live on 15th floor of an apartment building an our parking garage is across the street. FML

#20439908
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33081) - you deserved it (9238)

On 01/03/2013 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, mah dog died. We planned to get her cremated and keep the ashes. My sister put forward the idea of putting the ashes in our food so our dog can be "inside of us, always." She's completely serious. I'm scared to eat food from her now. FML

#20438971
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33039) - you deserved it (2094)

On 01/02/2013 at 4:53pm - animals - by Anon. -



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