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Friday 21 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML

#20403258
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39160) - you deserved it (14789)

On 12/17/2012 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I confronted my 18-year-old daughter about her excessively lengthy showers. She said she didn't see the big deal, considering the water "comes free with the house." No dear, it doesn't. FML

#20414355
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39040) - you deserved it (5937)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:29pm - kids - by Jane (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sent a cute, jokey text to my girlfriend saying, "Just in case the world ends, I love you." Not only did she dump me because I was an "idiot for believing in the doomsday", which I don't, she also wrote a Facebook status about it. Now everyone thinks I'm mentally unstable. FML

#20409563
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38746) - you deserved it (6846)

On 12/20/2012 at 7:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Vestfold)

Today, my mom and I went to Best Buy for some Christmas shopping. She picked up some presents for me and told me not to look at what she was buying. When we got to the register, she didn't have enough money, and I ended up having to buy my own presents. FML

#20413996
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38745) - you deserved it (3241)

On 12/22/2012 at 3:25pm - money - by dude, where's my balls? :( (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I took a bath because I couldn't get my left arm wet due to a minor medical procedure. My roommates decided to barge in to the bathroom and ruthlessly pelt me with flour. Not only did I find out flour burns the eyes, but the shock caused me to slip and submerge my arm. FML

#20408309
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38172) - you deserved it (2952)

On 12/20/2012 at 12:55am - health - by antiqued - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I felt down, so I laid in bed and told my parents I needed some alone time. A couple of minutes later, one of them started blasting "All by Myself" so loud that I felt the floorboards vibrate. FML

#20420113
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38170) - you deserved it (4154)

On 12/25/2012 at 12:00am - love - by all by myself - United States (Alaska)

Today, I went to a urinal next to an elderly gentleman. As I was doing my business, he zips up and begins to leave. On his way out, he leans over my shoulder and whispers in my ear, "That's nice". FML

#20424687
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38109) - you deserved it (3056)

On 12/26/2012 at 11:03pm - misc - by hborkowski (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending". She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML

#20421624
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37532) - you deserved it (2898)

On 12/25/2012 at 3:59pm - misc - by really mature, GRAN (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend is seriously mad at me for telling his cat what he got it for Christmas. FML

#20415555
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37257) - you deserved it (8692)

On 12/23/2012 at 3:24am - animals - by Kate (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

#20406748
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37039) - you deserved it (20624)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

Today, my trunk froze shut with my Christmas presents inside. Since it was still shut, I went to the store. When I came out, some ice had melted and the trunk had popped open. All of my gifts were gone. FML

#20426934
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36969) - you deserved it (5087)

On 12/27/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by wheresmysweater - United States (North Carolina)

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

#20407286
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36860) - you deserved it (3953)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML

#20409541
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36785) - you deserved it (4293)

On 12/20/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by jsmills92 (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



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