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Friday 21 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while my girlfriend was playing a game on my phone, an unknown number sent me a nude picture and the words "Miss you, baby." This person's mistake just cost me a black eye, and probably my relationship too. FML

#20427797
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40136) - you deserved it (3883)

On 12/28/2012 at 12:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML

#20423470
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40007) - you deserved it (4033)

On 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

#20418972
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39952) - you deserved it (5772)

On 12/24/2012 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I found my diary on my mother's nightstand. Bookmarked. FML

#20417856
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39920) - you deserved it (4068)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I received my soccer team jacket that I ordered a month ago. Trying to save money, I'd selected the "no name" option to avoid an extra $20 embroidering fee. My jacket now has "NO NAME" spelled out on the side of it, and I was charged the extra $20 dollars after all. FML

#20415162
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39207) - you deserved it (7202)

On 12/23/2012 at 12:01am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML

#20408274
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38976) - you deserved it (14085)

On 12/20/2012 at 12:30am - intimacy - by djl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a guy professed his love for me in front of my friends. The guy is my first cousin. FML

#20414731
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38781) - you deserved it (3143)

On 12/22/2012 at 9:33pm - love - by Brittany (woman) - United States

Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML

#20427124
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38771) - you deserved it (7969)

On 12/28/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Alone - United States

Today, after spending a lot of money on photo shoots to build up my portfolio, I finally got an offer from a modelling agency. I ran outside to tell my parents, only for my brother to hurl an iced snowball straight into my face. I now have a huge gash over my cheek and nose. FML

#20428566
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38487) - you deserved it (4025)

On 12/28/2012 at 8:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up with an engagement ring on my left hand. The same one I refused last month. My boyfriend apparently waited for me to be drunk to propose again last night, and has already posted the pics on Facebook. FML

#20427625
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38345) - you deserved it (14561)

On 12/28/2012 at 10:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was sleeping on an airplane. I dreamed that I was running my hands up and down my friend's leg sexually to creep him out. I woke up and I realized that I was running my hand up and down the leg of the old man sitting next to me. FML

#20408734
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38241) - you deserved it (23230)

On 12/20/2012 at 9:49am - intimacy - by joyness (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I gave my husband an early Christmas present: Santa-themed lingerie. He got angry and called me selfish, for "using" him as an excuse to get myself nice stuff. FML

#20418722
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37735) - you deserved it (12455)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by selfishsexysanta (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to find our Christmas tree knocked over, unwrapped presents scattered everywhere, and my mom passed out on the sofa with a bottle of booze. Merry Christmas. FML

#20419854
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37546) - you deserved it (2477)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:20pm - misc - by Julie (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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