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Friday 7 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML

#20189885
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23520) - you deserved it (3185)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm - misc - by FlyingFist - United States

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23439) - you deserved it (1843)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -

Today, I ran into my high school crush at Target. When I asked her if she remembered me, she patted me on the head, said, "Unfortunately," and walked away. FML

#20191408
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23423) - you deserved it (2482)

On 12/04/2012 at 8:06pm - misc - by Likian5 (man) - United States

Today, it's my 21st birthday and my dad has decided to take away my ID in fear that if I have even one drink to celebrate I'll become a raging alcoholic. FML

#20189765
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23374) - you deserved it (2458)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by VedaLynn - United States

Today, one of my work colleagues was staring at my severe sunburn. She wanted to know if she could "peel" me, when my sunburn becomes "ripe", because she loves the sound. She won't take no for an answer, and I work with her everyday this week. FML

#20194217
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23370) - you deserved it (1769)

On 12/06/2012 at 7:19pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my daughter wore my favorite Christmas sweater to an ugly sweater party. FML

#20201801
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23340) - you deserved it (9192)

On 12/12/2012 at 11:05am - kids - by Saduglydad - United States (Texas)

Today, my roommate turned the thermostat down to 50 degrees. Why? Because she read that shivering burns calories. FML

#20200383
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23129) - you deserved it (1815)

On 12/11/2012 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in my AP Biology class, a student informed us she'd read that Antarctica had completely melted due to global warming, to which my friend gushed, "Yeah! It's been melted for, like, months." FML

#20193921
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23030) - you deserved it (1985)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:47pm - misc - by bieberslayer (woman) - United States

Today, I got into a fight with my girlfriend. After yelling and arguing my point, my cat got up and jumped up next to her on the bed. He sat down, and they both glared at me until I left. FML

#20189474
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23003) - you deserved it (4006)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

#20188881
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22830) - you deserved it (8315)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:06am - health - by WTFFAIL (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML

#20189050
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22692) - you deserved it (1599)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by poopsthegame - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I found out what the two girls I sit near to fight about every day: seating. The loser has to sit next to me. FML

#20189404
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22648) - you deserved it (2010)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, a senile old lady came up to me and offered me chocolate. I noticed that it was ex-lax, so I politely told her no. My 4-year-old daughter pushed me aside and ate the ex-lax, because she thought it was candy. I now have a stinky child on a 3 hour bus ride, with no stops. FML

#20197580
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22566) - you deserved it (10288)

On 12/09/2012 at 11:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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