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Sunday 2 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my elbow was having cramps and movement issues as a result of an old set of surgical pins and wires that are being rejected by my body. One painful twitch caused my arm to lock out straight, unintentionally slapping my hand into my co-worker's crotch. Our waiting customers giggled. FML

Today, I thought it would be nice to park my new car under a big, shady oak tree to prevent it from heating up in the sun. The big, shady oak tree thought it would be nice to shed a massive branch on top of my new car. FML

#20196008
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21817) - you deserved it (3597)

On 12/08/2012 at 4:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

#20188881
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21799) - you deserved it (8127)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:06am - health - by WTFFAIL (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I decided to talk to a girl at the gym I had seen there a lot. I walked up to her at the station she was at and asked her out to dinner sometime. I didn't realize she had been wearing headphones. She took them off and asked if I was waiting on the station. My courage left. I said yes. FML

#20198068
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21799) - you deserved it (4294)

On 12/09/2012 at 6:34pm - health - by Aaron - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got into a fight with my girlfriend. After yelling and arguing my point, my cat got up and jumped up next to her on the bed. He sat down, and they both glared at me until I left. FML

#20189474
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21720) - you deserved it (3869)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML

#20192329
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21701) - you deserved it (3722)

On 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm - health - by Emily - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 5 kids were singing their favorite Christmas carols in the van, each trying to sing louder than the others. It would have probably sounded better if they were all singing the same one. FML

#20183806
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21701) - you deserved it (4076)

On 11/29/2012 at 9:22am - kids - by Dave (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML

#20197946
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21619) - you deserved it (7171)

On 12/09/2012 at 4:52pm - love - by HOLY SHIT, A WALKING SNOWGLOBE (man) - United Kingdom (Barking and Dagenham)

Today, it's my sixth day taking care of my family's seven animals while my parents are in Singapore. So far, I've emergency-called the vet twice, taken a dog to the vet once, and cleaned up liquid dog shit five times. FML

#20197436
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21552) - you deserved it (2390)

On 12/09/2012 at 8:18am - animals - by KennyDidIt - United States (Alabama)

Today, I ran across the street due to a line of cars waiting for me to cross. Just as I reached the other side, my iPhone slipped out of my hand and fell into the road, just in time to get run over by multiple cars, one after the other. FML

#20181219
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21454) - you deserved it (6773)

On 11/27/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by unknown - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, in my AP Biology class, a student informed us she'd read that Antarctica had completely melted due to global warming, to which my friend gushed, "Yeah! It's been melted for, like, months." FML

#20193921
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21441) - you deserved it (1849)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:47pm - misc - by bieberslayer (woman) - United States

Today, my cat peed on my bra. I didn't realize this until after I arrived at work for my 12-hour shift. Now I'm trying to wash my bra out in the sink and stuff paper towels down it to soak up the moisture. Only 10 more hours to go, and the smell of cat pee is still lingering. FML

#20185014
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21274) - you deserved it (4157)

On 11/30/2012 at 3:33am - work - by onlyslightly (woman) - United States

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21147) - you deserved it (1642)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -



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