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Sunday 2 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was enjoying a nice bath, when one of my cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet, until my other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientious cat owner, I hadn't de-clawed them. FML

#20181270
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20882) - you deserved it (5823)

On 11/27/2012 at 2:52pm - animals - by Neutered (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my cat peed on my bra. I didn't realize this until after I arrived at work for my 12-hour shift. Now I'm trying to wash my bra out in the sink and stuff paper towels down it to soak up the moisture. Only 10 more hours to go, and the smell of cat pee is still lingering. FML

#20185014
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20832) - you deserved it (4094)

On 11/30/2012 at 3:33am - work - by onlyslightly (woman) - United States

Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML

#20189050
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20798) - you deserved it (1447)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by poopsthegame - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I thought it would be nice to park my new car under a big, shady oak tree to prevent it from heating up in the sun. The big, shady oak tree thought it would be nice to shed a massive branch on top of my new car. FML

#20196008
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20767) - you deserved it (3461)

On 12/08/2012 at 4:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML

#20188543
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20749) - you deserved it (2692)

On 12/02/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by :/ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my elbow was having cramps and movement issues as a result of an old set of surgical pins and wires that are being rejected by my body. One painful twitch caused my arm to lock out straight, unintentionally slapping my hand into my co-worker's crotch. Our waiting customers giggled. FML

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML

#20189885
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20623) - you deserved it (2899)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm - misc - by FlyingFist - United States

Today, I decided to talk to a girl at the gym I had seen there a lot. I walked up to her at the station she was at and asked her out to dinner sometime. I didn't realize she had been wearing headphones. She took them off and asked if I was waiting on the station. My courage left. I said yes. FML

#20198068
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20528) - you deserved it (4106)

On 12/09/2012 at 6:34pm - health - by Aaron - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it's my 21st birthday and my dad has decided to take away my ID in fear that if I have even one drink to celebrate I'll become a raging alcoholic. FML

#20189765
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20515) - you deserved it (2194)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by VedaLynn - United States

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20369) - you deserved it (1576)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -

Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML

#20183521
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20359) - you deserved it (2831)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:40am - kids - by fabs1171 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

#20188881
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20293) - you deserved it (7837)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:06am - health - by WTFFAIL (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, in my AP Biology class, a student informed us she'd read that Antarctica had completely melted due to global warming, to which my friend gushed, "Yeah! It's been melted for, like, months." FML

#20193921
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20273) - you deserved it (1753)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:47pm - misc - by bieberslayer (woman) - United States



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