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Thursday 29 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

#20179414
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9938) - you deserved it (20845)

On 11/26/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by Z (man) - Australia

Today, while lighting a cigarette, I learned the hard way that the amount of styling mousse I used to get my curly hair to become manageable, is the roughly same amount that causes it to become highly flammable. FML

#20186892
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9579) - you deserved it (27190)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:11pm - health - by Awkward (woman) - Bahrain

Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML

#20182175
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8767) - you deserved it (28461) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/28/2012 at 1:20am - health - by kise - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was shopping when I overheard a woman telling an employee that she was buying an iPad for her 5-year-old son. Annoyed, I turned around and ranted about how he should have more age appropriate toys. Then she explained that her son is autistic and will be using the iPad to communicate. FML

#20183504
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8128) - you deserved it (82568)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:29am - misc - by Mimi - United States

Today, to scare my little brother I dressed up as the killer from the Scream movies. The outfit was a little too long on me, and I ended up falling down the stairs. Not only was he doubled over laughing, but so were the people in the emergency room. FML

#20186785
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8101) - you deserved it (24310)

On 12/01/2012 at 3:21pm - health - by fieldmarshalclitter (man) - United States

Today, on an important call with a potential employer, he began to speak quieter and quieter until I couldn't hear him at all. When I finally hung up after waiting for 5 minutes, I realized that I had been pressing down on the volume button. FML

#20182071
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7922) - you deserved it (28022)

On 11/27/2012 at 11:58pm - work - by jkmartinjk - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML

#20185753
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7111) - you deserved it (17226)

On 11/30/2012 at 7:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad grounded me for two weeks for profusely swearing at my misbehaving laptop. After some arguing, he actually accepted my half-joking offer to play a game of CoD over it. His condition was that if I lost, my grounding period would double. We played. He kicked my ass. FML

#20185812
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7066) - you deserved it (29147)

On 11/30/2012 at 8:28pm - misc - by goodbye cruel world (man) - United States (California)

Today, I followed my neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on my Christmas tree because it will "make it live longer." I just came downstairs to find my Christmas tree covered in ants. FML

#20186141
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6324) - you deserved it (36716)

On 12/01/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Chuffy - United States (Colorado)

Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML

#20182587
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6218) - you deserved it (42495)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm - health - by Widowmaker - United States (Nevada)

Today, while at work taking notes on a pad of paper, my boss witnessed me trying to scroll down on the paper, as if it was a touch-screen phone. FML

#20190845
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6149) - you deserved it (25806)

On 12/04/2012 at 12:16pm - work - by mdg (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was visiting my daughter, whose husband was still asleep at noon. I made a point of stomping around on the hardwood floor and speaking loudly to wake his lazy ass up. Turns out he's now working a 14-hour graveyard shift, and it has no negative effect on his shoe-throwing skills. FML

#20193830
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5111) - you deserved it (73679)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:23pm - misc - by mom (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)



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