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Thursday 22 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to pick up her things. I decided to take a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML

#20170390
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20276) - you deserved it (2730)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:03am - love - by Chris (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML

#20183521
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20116) - you deserved it (2805)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:40am - kids - by fabs1171 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, this really big woman asked me for some cigarettes. I didn't have any, which made her angry. Angry enough to pick me up, stuff me in a dumpster, and sit on the lid. I still smell like garbage. FML

#20183027
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20063) - you deserved it (1353)

On 11/28/2012 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got laid off. Why would they lay me off right before the holidays? Because they want to make sure every one else gets a nice holiday bonus. FML

#20173186
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20040) - you deserved it (1254)

On 11/21/2012 at 11:31pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend looked me straight in the eye and said, "I know about the sea turtles." I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "Next time, shut up or I'll show you pain." I have no idea what she's talking about. FML

#20170012
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20012) - you deserved it (1875)

On 11/19/2012 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML

#20179747
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19997) - you deserved it (2030)

On 11/26/2012 at 1:59pm - love - by Blake Lawrence - United States (Utah)

Today, I was sitting on a train, doing homework for my programming class, when a man sat in the seat next to me. He must have been a programmer too, because he spent the next few hours staring at my screen and laughing whenever I made a mistake. FML

#20169793
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19879) - you deserved it (1854)

On 11/19/2012 at 5:37pm - misc - by Trinity (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I told my boss that I quit, and handed in my two week's notice. A couple of hours later, I found my letter of resignation had been photocopied and copies hung all around the office with "Best day ever" written on the bottom. FML

#20176308
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19687) - you deserved it (4468)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:54am - work - by sad face - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I ran across the street due to a line of cars waiting for me to cross. Just as I reached the other side, my iPhone slipped out of my hand and fell into the road, just in time to get run over by multiple cars, one after the other. FML

#20181219
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19453) - you deserved it (6412)

On 11/27/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by unknown - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I walked into my house with my friend, only to discover my husband half-naked and yelling at the TV screen over a soccer game. By half-naked, I mean he was only wearing a shirt. FML

#20169569
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19227) - you deserved it (2122)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to the Apple store to try and figure out what's going on with my iPhone. After an hour of speaking to three different geniuses and waiting around, their solution was to "Google it." FML

#20171869
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19184) - you deserved it (3120)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:42am - misc - by Jo - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years old. FML

#20170920
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18871) - you deserved it (2089)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:23pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

#20173351
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18688) - you deserved it (3441)

On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States



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