Thursday 22 November 2012 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8171) - you deserved it (9665)
On 11/24/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by Anonymous Cunt (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I was separating my notes into two piles: one to save for exam studying and one to throw out. I finished separating, picked up the junk pile and absentmindedly shredded it. Afterwards, I looked down to see the junk pile still completely intact. Goodbye, passing grades. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8146) - you deserved it (22163)
On 11/26/2012 at 10:03pm - work - by shark - United States (Texas)
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7756) - you deserved it (16625)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (7695) - you deserved it (18920)
On 11/20/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Brian (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, the car in front of me in the drop-off area at my son's school parked, and the driver got out. I basically leaned on my horn and gave her every dirty look in the book. She said nothing but stared at me as she opened the back of her van to unload her child's wheelchair. I'm an asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6702) - you deserved it (48976)
On 11/21/2012 at 9:03am - kids - by AHole (woman) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I took a pregnancy test. When I saw that the result was positive, I started crying and showed my mom. She burst out laughing and told me that I had taken an ovulation test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6542) - you deserved it (26932)
On 11/25/2012 at 10:08am - health - by I'm stupid - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was shopping when I overheard a woman telling an employee that she was buying an iPad for her 5-year-old son. Annoyed, I turned around and ranted about how he should have more age appropriate toys. Then she explained that her son is autistic and will be using the iPad to communicate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6232) - you deserved it (61732)
On 11/29/2012 at 12:29am - misc - by Mimi - United States
Today, on an important call with a potential employer, he began to speak quieter and quieter until I couldn't hear him at all. When I finally hung up after waiting for 5 minutes, I realized that I had been pressing down on the volume button. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5949) - you deserved it (17975)
On 11/27/2012 at 11:58pm - work - by jkmartinjk - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5587) - you deserved it (17410) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 11/28/2012 at 1:20am - health - by kise - Sent from mobile version
Today, I called Costco to ask them not to renew my membership because of financial problems. The man on the phone spent 30 minutes telling me why I'm a fool to leave and I ended up with a renewed $55 membership and 25 minutes over my minute allowance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5547) - you deserved it (21813)
On 11/20/2012 at 3:47am - money - by iwannaberich - United States (California)
Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5386) - you deserved it (26380)
On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, someone posted photos from a party I was at. On each photo I'm posing in with a girl, my hand is not touching her, but is hovering over her like some creepy weirdo loser. My Facebook nickname is now of course "Hover Hand." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5369) - you deserved it (14909)
On 11/20/2012 at 9:37pm - misc - by Hover Hand (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was walking home, when I realized I didn't have my phone on me. After retracing my steps, I realized that I'd been listening to music from my phone the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5002) - you deserved it (17147)
On 11/25/2012 at 2:12am - misc - by Jocelyn - Canada (Alberta)
Friday 24 May 2013
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