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Monday 19 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I witnessed a robbery as a teenager ran out of a Walgreens with stolen goods in his hands. The manager was running after him. Trying to be helpful, I pulled forward to block the thief from getting away. The cops showed up and arrested me for hitting a pedestrian. FML

#20169022
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24426) - you deserved it (4483)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by ausmill12 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

#20174027
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24391) - you deserved it (1699)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm - work - by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after having finally kicked my insomnia's ass after three hours, I was woken up by something I only thought happened in movies. Someone had paid for a Mariachi band to play for their girlfriend, outside my apartment, in the middle of the night. FML

#20175516
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24247) - you deserved it (1480)

On 11/23/2012 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML

#20169028
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24105) - you deserved it (2566)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:21am - health - by NOIDIDNOT (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to pick up her things. I decided to take a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML

#20170390
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23772) - you deserved it (3100)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:03am - love - by Chris (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I'm in the hospital and it's been 44 hours since I've eaten anything. My doctors won't let me eat and my parents are sitting across the room, eating. FML

#20171321
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23709) - you deserved it (1552)

On 11/20/2012 at 6:25pm - health - by RayneSong - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went out and bought a copy of Black Ops 2. I got home and opened the case, only to see the game disk was missing. When I went back to the store to complain, the guy at the desk accused me of trying to pull an old scam on him. FML

#20175155
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23612) - you deserved it (2327)

On 11/23/2012 at 12:20pm - money - by FUCK A FUCKING DUCK (man) - Bahamas (New Providence)

Today, I went to the Apple store to try and figure out what's going on with my iPhone. After an hour of speaking to three different geniuses and waiting around, their solution was to "Google it." FML

#20171869
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23477) - you deserved it (3587)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:42am - misc - by Jo - United States (California)

Today, I ran into an old friend, and she remarked how she couldn't believe we hadn't seen each other in a year. Except not only did I attend her baby shower a few weeks ago, I spent hundreds of dollars on a unique gift. FML

#20174439
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23345) - you deserved it (2390)

On 11/22/2012 at 9:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression and then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML

#20176506
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23191) - you deserved it (2278)

On 11/24/2012 at 11:35am - misc - by lobstercola - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was sitting on a train, doing homework for my programming class, when a man sat in the seat next to me. He must have been a programmer too, because he spent the next few hours staring at my screen and laughing whenever I made a mistake. FML

#20169793
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23065) - you deserved it (2106)

On 11/19/2012 at 5:37pm - misc - by Trinity (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML

#20176987
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23021) - you deserved it (2384)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:11pm - love - by Eganstein (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

#20174725
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22885) - you deserved it (3147)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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