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Sunday 11 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

#20151986
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19693) - you deserved it (6384)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML

#20153727
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19685) - you deserved it (6888)

On 11/07/2012 at 4:30pm - animals - by Drafty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started my new job as the only IT tech for my office. My first task: untangling the hundred mice the previous tech tied together for "fun". FML

#20150513
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19633) - you deserved it (1394)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my grandmother said to me, "You look just like your mother did at your age. Except you're fatter of course." FML

#20148363
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19468) - you deserved it (4257)

On 11/05/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by poro123 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a booth at a very expensive craft show. My grandma came to show her support. While there, she managed to knock over my display, get in the way of potential buyers and take down a rather old lady when she supposedly stumbled. This all happened in the first five minutes she was there. FML

#20167730
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19382) - you deserved it (1591)

On 11/18/2012 at 5:02am - work - by soldnone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom has officially lost 100 pounds due to a lap-band surgery. After sharing her excitement, she also shared her troubles. She said, "Everything hangs now, even my cooter. Can they fix that?" Thank you for the mental image, mom. FML

#20159898
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19253) - you deserved it (1570)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:25am - health - by KtSue - United States

Today, I stepped outside the house with my wife. She looked up at the sky and asked me in all seriousness if stars are man-made. FML

#20156290
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19229) - you deserved it (2977)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by baby, baby no (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, after spending 3 hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML

#20163199
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18874) - you deserved it (1484)

On 11/14/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by racking-leaves - United States

Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML

#20168543
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18682) - you deserved it (1497)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by mountains - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML

#20162883
275 comments

Today, I finally met the girl I've been talking to on phone for a while and found her charming in person as well. There's just one problem: she has more facial hair than I do. FML

#20159578
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18525) - you deserved it (5792)

On 11/11/2012 at 9:16pm - love - by x (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML

#20165039
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18380) - you deserved it (2541)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by spaceforrent - United States

Today, while working at the coffee shop, I had to empty the garbage cans. One of the bags gave way, and all the half-finished cups of coffee spilled all over my uniform. Most customers' orders cost more than I make per hour. FML

#20166731
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18196) - you deserved it (1887)

On 11/17/2012 at 1:35pm - work - by overpriced coffee shop worker - United States (California)



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