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Sunday 11 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML

#20154142
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19831) - you deserved it (2105)

On 11/07/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by ohcrap (man) - United States

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

#20151986
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19815) - you deserved it (6399)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to present a program to my supervisors in University. Not being a native English speaker, I used my own invented abbreviations for parameters in the program. Apparently STD is not an appropriate abbreviation for "standard deviation." I can still hear them laughing. FML

#20156190
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19814) - you deserved it (7122)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:23am - work - by EnglishLearner (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML

#20153727
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19810) - you deserved it (6907)

On 11/07/2012 at 4:30pm - animals - by Drafty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after finishing a test, I decided to draw to pass the time. My teacher looked at the drawing and gave me a referral to the principal for drawing an "anti-Semitic picture." I'd drawn Superman. FML

#20163905
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19776) - you deserved it (1577)

On 11/15/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Superman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I started my new job as the only IT tech for my office. My first task: untangling the hundred mice the previous tech tied together for "fun". FML

#20150513
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19744) - you deserved it (1401)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my grandmother said to me, "You look just like your mother did at your age. Except you're fatter of course." FML

#20148363
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19593) - you deserved it (4269)

On 11/05/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by poro123 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a booth at a very expensive craft show. My grandma came to show her support. While there, she managed to knock over my display, get in the way of potential buyers and take down a rather old lady when she supposedly stumbled. This all happened in the first five minutes she was there. FML

#20167730
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19506) - you deserved it (1595)

On 11/18/2012 at 5:02am - work - by soldnone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I stepped outside the house with my wife. She looked up at the sky and asked me in all seriousness if stars are man-made. FML

#20156290
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19360) - you deserved it (2986)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by baby, baby no (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my husband surprised me by cooking a romantic dinner. I asked him why the sudden gesture. His response? "The cable was out." FML

#20154549
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18932) - you deserved it (4129)

On 11/08/2012 at 12:49am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML

#20168543
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18796) - you deserved it (1503)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by mountains - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I finally met the girl I've been talking to on phone for a while and found her charming in person as well. There's just one problem: she has more facial hair than I do. FML

#20159578
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18656) - you deserved it (5809)

On 11/11/2012 at 9:16pm - love - by x (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad put an onion in my room, telling me spirits won't haunt me and that I won't get sick. He thinks a vegetable will protect me. FML

#20163512
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18554) - you deserved it (2388)

On 11/14/2012 at 7:48pm - health - by duhasiangirl - Canada (Ontario)



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