Sunday 11 November 2012 
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Today, I spotted a girl I have a crush on while grocery shopping. Before I could go over and say hi, I noticed her walk over and stroke a few kitchen knives through plastic wrapping. Then I spotted her in the dog food section sniffing rawhide bones with her eyes closed, looking very happy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15404) - you deserved it (1891)
On 11/16/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by grocerystalker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I started dating a seemingly normal guy. Not even four hours into our relationship, he began telling me that he can see spirits, dead people, and that I have a large black dog following me everywhere I go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15369) - you deserved it (1600)
On 11/08/2012 at 11:53pm - love - by holyshitbatman - United States (Ohio)
Today, after the fourth time telling my roommate I'm highly allergic to her scented products, I came back to find all 6 of our wall outlets using Glade plug-ins. They were set to high. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15352) - you deserved it (1177)
On 11/07/2012 at 8:38pm - health - by rahavan - United States (Washington)
Today, I had to buy a new vacuum cleaner. My previous one stopped working, because apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to suck up our puppy's shit from the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15298) - you deserved it (1395)
On 11/08/2012 at 2:03pm - love - by 99Problemsandfml - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (15203) - you deserved it (1937)
On 11/09/2012 at 7:16pm - health - by dating a fking cnt (man) - Canada
Today, my mother in law moved in because she has a hip problem. I don't know what's worse, her constant complaining and slob like tendencies, or the eight cats she brought along with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15199) - you deserved it (1083)
On 11/08/2012 at 12:43am - misc - by David (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I learned that last week, the UPS man gave my package to my neighbor for safekeeping. It was over five-hundred dollars' worth of merchandise. My neighbor left for Canada on Saturday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15187) - you deserved it (911)
On 11/12/2012 at 1:40pm - money - by siciliano12594 - United States (New York)
Today, I had to present a program to my supervisors in University. Not being a native English speaker, I used my own invented abbreviations for parameters in the program. Apparently STD is not an appropriate abbreviation for "standard deviation." I can still hear them laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15170) - you deserved it (6209)
On 11/09/2012 at 11:23am - work - by EnglishLearner (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15067) - you deserved it (1415)
On 11/07/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by ohcrap (man) - United States
Today, knowing that I have been in a lot of stress lately, my friend tried to teach me how to meditate. Eventually, I ended up in a deeply relaxed state in which my mind was completely clear. When I snapped out of it, I realized I'd peed myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14929) - you deserved it (2027)
On 11/14/2012 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14926) - you deserved it (1007)
On 11/05/2012 at 9:02am - misc - by liquorless (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my friend joked to my co-workers that my kitty-cat of a husband was going to beat me for spending $200 on shoes. Later on, my rather large dog was so excited to see me when I walked in the door, he split my lip. Somehow, I don't think they'll believe me when I get to the office tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14791) - you deserved it (1807)
On 11/06/2012 at 4:32am - work - by iLuvsIt (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was told I will be having twins; this came as a shock since there are no twins in my family. When I asked my mom about it, she said that she wasn't surprised and not to worry about it because she had "absorbed her twin" and that the problem would "take care of itself." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14689) - you deserved it (1033)
On 11/08/2012 at 1:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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