Office world is hell

By Anonymous - 11/07/2020 14:01

Today, at work I was sitting on the toilet and a coworker came in and yelled, “That sounded like a big one!” and wouldn't leave until I left came out of the stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 468

You deserved it 136

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 26/09/2011 18:52 - United States

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 046

You deserved it 3 547

Industrial logs

By wow - 19/02/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 527

You deserved it 36 927

Symphonic

By Anonymous - 30/01/2014 22:46 - United Kingdom - Preston

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked, "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 816

You deserved it 4 913

By DonPedro - 16/01/2009 14:45 - United States

Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 852

You deserved it 11 376

Not now, mate

By yuen - 16/06/2009 14:59 - Australia

Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 595

You deserved it 4 737

Humpty Dumpy

By traumatized - 12/04/2014 18:07 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 436

You deserved it 9 394

Shut up!

By Anonymous - 03/03/2013 18:03 - Germany - Augsburg

Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 967

You deserved it 11 217

Sneaky

By Shamed - 06/09/2011 08:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 605

You deserved it 4 953

By RckRagman - 30/04/2009 14:55 - United States

Today, 3 of the 4 stalls were occupied in the rest room. I took the 4th stall. Upon sitting, I let out one of the longest, loudest farts I have done in a long time. Next, I hear "Hey, how's it going?". I was CORRECTLY identified by a co-worker hearing me fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 247

You deserved it 11 485

By not telling you my name - 07/08/2015 15:16 - United States - Elkhart

Today, I went to take a dump at work. The silence in the room was deafening, and I ended up singing to myself. After I proudly finished, there was a short silence, followed by a coworker in the next stall saying, "Um... don't quit the day job, Rick." I'll never live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 634

You deserved it 5 808

TomeDr 24

Saturday 11 July 2020 14:03

Sounds like your coworker is still stuck in the “middle school” phase of his life.

Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15

Saturday 11 July 2020 18:14

time for HR

Comments

TomeDr 24

Saturday 11 July 2020 14:03

Sounds like your coworker is still stuck in the “middle school” phase of his life.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 11 July 2020 16:23

Your coworker is not going to stay overnight to wait for you to come out. But you can.

Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15

Saturday 11 July 2020 18:14

time for HR

Seeya55 31

Saturday 11 July 2020 19:08

"WHO...DOES....NUMBER TWO...WORK FOR...!" "You show that turd who's boss!"

Seeya55 31

Sunday 12 July 2020 13:38

Really? No one's watched Austin Powers? :(

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Saturday 11 July 2020 21:10

And how old is your co-worker? Twelve?

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend refused to have sex with me, because my underwear are Fruit of the Loom instead of Hanes. According to her, since all real men wear Hanes, I'm unfit to have sex with her because I wear Fruit of the Loom and am therefore not a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 764

You deserved it 424

Today, I went indoor rock climbing with my uncle and his 5 year-old girl. I'm about halfway up the hardest ascent when my arm cramps up. As I stretched my arm, my cousin yells up at me in her tiny voice, "Prove you're a man and climb that wall!" I fell off. I was emasculated by a 5 year-old. FML

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You deserved it 5 760

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 53 044

You deserved it 4 601

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I agree, your life sucks 19 636

You deserved it 1 928

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I agree, your life sucks 5 523

You deserved it 348

Today, I found out that I will not be allowed to scout out some public land for deer hunting this weekend. It's my only free weekend, and it's a 6 hour drive one way. I guess hunting is going to be an expensive gamble this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 700

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I agree, your life sucks 1 180

You deserved it 144

Today, I went to my uncle's house to celebrate Christmas. His kids don't have their own phones so I let them play with mine. They sent all my contacts messages saying I love them, including two of my ex-girlfriends who both immediately wanted to make up and started to frantically call me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 339

You deserved it 3 153