Saturday 3 November 2012 
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Today, I had my first orgasm. I also came to the realization that whenever I orgasm I get an uncontrollable case of hiccups for at least half an hour afterwards. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18424) - you deserved it (1953)
On 11/03/2012 at 11:52am - intimacy - by hiccups - United States (New York)
Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18370) - you deserved it (2455)
On 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, it was my birthday. I finally got the PS3 I've been asking for, for a long time. When I opened the box, I didn't find a PS3, but a bunch of clothes that my mom put in my brother's PS3 box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18312) - you deserved it (2768)
On 11/10/2012 at 4:02am - misc - by Shauna (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18148) - you deserved it (2104)
On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)
Today, I flew back home from out of state. When I got back to my house, my bed, furniture, and TV were gone. My girlfriend changed her number and I have no idea where she lives now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18142) - you deserved it (1236)
On 11/07/2012 at 1:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I witnessed my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18097) - you deserved it (1911)
On 11/04/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by i fking love docb - Virgin Islands, U.S.
Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18013) - you deserved it (3072) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)
Today, I told my family that I wanted to change my last name to my future wife's. We want to have the same last name, and we chose hers because she is an only child, while I have three brothers. Half of my family is laughing and calling me "pussy whipped" while the other half won't speak to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18002) - you deserved it (10786)
On 11/06/2012 at 5:03pm - love - by new name (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my dad offered to pay me $40 to wash his car. Needing money to buy a video game, I agreed, and went out in the freezing weather to do the job. I finished the task, only to be paid in Monopoly money. My dad still hasn't gotten over how "funny" his prank was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17969) - you deserved it (2266)
Today, I was working in a call center when I smelled perfume. I'm allergic, and it triggered my asthma. When I came back, some jerk had sprayed it all over my work area. I couldn't go near it for the rest of my shift, therefore I had to go home early, and got my paycheck docked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17778) - you deserved it (1493)
On 11/02/2012 at 12:13am - work - by John - United States
Today, I threw up after drinking a smoothie my mother made me. She then called me "ungrateful" and "immature" for not liking what she spent a long time making for me. I later found out that not only did she use expired yogurt, it was also a mango smoothie, which I'm allergic to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17738) - you deserved it (991)
On 11/07/2012 at 6:28pm - health - by anon - United States
Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17661) - you deserved it (2445)
On 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm - kids - by john r.t. (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17596) - you deserved it (1114)
On 11/03/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by xXfloatingshitlogXx (woman) - Norway (Akershus)
Monday 17 June 2013
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