Today, my eight-year-old son thought that if he swallowed soap, his farts would smell like soap. The smell of vomit and diarrhea now permeating my house is proof of how wrong he was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17176) - you deserved it (1531)
On 05/25/2012 at 8:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, after dieting, rigorous exercising and a major lifestyle change, I have finally reached my fitness goal. My parents were more excited about my 17-year-old brother getting to 3rd base with his girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17112) - you deserved it (1838)
On 05/23/2012 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to see a once-in-a-lifetime moment when the Olympic torch passed through my town. I waited for 3 hours only to get a bruise from a man shoving me out of the way at the exact moment it went past. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17093) - you deserved it (1493)
On 05/23/2012 at 11:53am - misc - by Notorch (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, we got a call that my brother stuck a rock up his nose and couldn't get it out. My mom had to pick him up and take him to the hospital. My brother is 20. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16920) - you deserved it (1203)
On 05/23/2012 at 2:13am - misc - by littlebigbrother - Japan
Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16588) - you deserved it (2016)
On 05/23/2012 at 5:14pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
I agree, your life sucks (16574) - you deserved it (5020)
On 05/24/2012 at 12:59am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I told my mom I was going out to hang out with some friends. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "Don't lie to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16477) - you deserved it (1538)
On 05/27/2012 at 4:00am - misc - by cloudberry - United States (New York)
Today, I realised that I've been deployed for far too long, when I caught myself looking down the cleavage of a mannequin wearing a bathing suit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16465) - you deserved it (1804)
On 05/25/2012 at 12:03pm - misc - by Lonely_Army (man) - Qatar
Today, I had finally gotten my dogs to quiet down and my baby to fall asleep. Not thirty seconds later, my neighbor's car alarm went off. They aren't home for the weekend, and the damn alarm has now been blaring for three hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16378) - you deserved it (950)
On 05/27/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by shadow1248 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I got a $20 tip from an old lady I delivered pizza to. Ecstatic, I walked back to my car where there was a $30 parking fine waiting for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16308) - you deserved it (6891)
On 05/28/2012 at 9:55am - money - by dammit33 - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I replaced my car's windscreen wipers, after someone stole the last pair. After I finished, I went indoors for a drink. When I returned, the new ones had been stolen too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16226) - you deserved it (1174)
On 05/25/2012 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, I admitted to my parents that I have an eating disorder. Instead of trying to help, my mom stared at me and said, "Duh". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16108) - you deserved it (2781)
On 05/28/2012 at 9:38pm - misc - by Hungrey - United States
Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15931) - you deserved it (3165)
On 05/23/2012 at 4:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Monday 17 June 2013
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