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May 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after a 2 month relationship, I realized two things: A) Dating a known psycho because "crazy chicks are great in bed" is a dumb idea, and B) What crazy chicks are actually great at is beating the crap out of you and driving you to alcoholism. FML

#21402940
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14167) - you deserved it (28970)

On 05/01/2015 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I received a promotional message offering a half-off deal on an expensive coffee maker. The only reason why I received the message is because I bought that same coffee maker yesterday and I signed up to their mailing list. FML

#21417141
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13815) - you deserved it (1385)

On 05/28/2015 at 1:41pm - money - by FFS - Cyprus (Limassol)

Today, my daughter cried for ages after finding out that Nick Amaro was written out of Law and Order: SVU. She barely reacted when I told her that her mom and I are getting a divorce. FML

#21417105
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13357) - you deserved it (1577)

On 05/28/2015 at 11:40am - misc - by svunimportant - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was finishing my chest workout at the gym when this really cute girl started using the machine next to me. To impress her, I tried lifting a lot of weight on the barbell. It ended up landing on my neck and she had to help me get it off. FML

#21411484
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13190) - you deserved it (29459)

On 05/17/2015 at 1:53pm - health - by Idle_Twin - United States (Florida)

Today, I thought it would be funny to fart next to my brother in the car. Apparently, his carsickness is exacerbated by strong smells. I now know what it feels like to have lap full of vomit. FML

#21406695
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13122) - you deserved it (34838)

On 05/08/2015 at 9:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I lost a book. I'd used my credit card as a bookmark. FML

#21415900
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12373) - you deserved it (39316)

On 05/26/2015 at 2:54am - money - by stupid (man) - United States (California)

Today, not thinking and being pissed off, I threw my phone in the car, making a decent sized crack in the windshield. FML

Today, I bought an expensive video game and decided to show it off and post a photo of it on Instagram. When I got home to play it, it rejected my activation key. I then realised it was showing in the Instagram post. FML

#21411390
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12069) - you deserved it (42051)

On 05/17/2015 at 9:09am - misc - by PISSED OFF - Australia

Today, I tried to write a bad review for the fast-food place at which I work part-time. My username made me anonymous, but I forgot to change my profile picture. Now my manager and coworkers won't even speak to me. FML

#21405584
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10751) - you deserved it (39853)

On 05/06/2015 at 10:34am - work - by Freelman - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend made me a coupon book. I thought it was sweet until I noticed they were all conditional. For example; "Give your boyfriend a blowjob and he'll give you a 10 minute back massage!". They're all like that and he's mad because I refuse to use them. FML

#21417382
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5232) - you deserved it (530)

On 05/28/2015 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by shmoooopie (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I started my day off with a relaxing cup of coffee, the morning paper, and the sound of my mother informing me I will be going to hell for being not believing in God. FML

#21417394
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4961) - you deserved it (762)

On 05/29/2015 at 12:16am - misc - by idonthavereligion (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was out shopping with my little sister. I wanted to try something on, so I put my bag in front of a changing room and jokingly told her to bark if someone came near. She ended up biting a lady who was trying to get into one of the changing rooms. FML

#21417456
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4543) - you deserved it (699) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/29/2015 at 12:19am - kids - by wouaf - France (Rhone-Alpes)



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