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September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML

#20864109
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55102) - you deserved it (7007)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:49am - intimacy - by Kiddo (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad asked me to stop calling him "dad" because it’s too weird for his girlfriend’s kids to hear, because they call him dad. FML

#20901637
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54913) - you deserved it (2663)

On 09/30/2013 at 4:04am - kids - by meens42 - United States

Today, I was lying naked on my boyfriend's bed for the first time ever. He glanced at me, then started playing with a Rubik's cube. FML

#20885155
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54782) - you deserved it (6578)

On 09/17/2013 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by someone (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mum got engaged to her American pen-pal, who is in prison over there for murder. FML

Today, my psycho girlfriend tried to blackmail me into giving her money, threatening to show everyone the nude pictures I recently sent her. Except the pictures on her phone that she threatened me with weren't even of me. Nice to know I'm also being cheated on. FML

#20881137
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54595) - you deserved it (4587)

On 09/14/2013 at 4:09pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my girlfriend invited me over for the first time. I pulled up to her house just to be denied at the front door by her mum. She'd invited me over to break up with me, but had her mum do it for her. FML

#20876765
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54213) - you deserved it (3442)

On 09/11/2013 at 5:30am - love - by AnonymousLoser (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a blind date. He showed up in a shirt that read, "I f*ck on first dates". FML

#20888198
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54113) - you deserved it (6159)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by ughreally (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my parents told me that I had been accepted into my top two colleges, but they didn't show me the letters because they were worried that if they spent money on tuition, they wouldn't be able to keep BOTH of their brand new Mercedes. FML

Today, my doctor asked me to undo my bra so he could check my breathing without the straps restricting my lungs, I got home and told my friends how awkward it was. Not one of them has had this happen to them before. We all go to the same doctor. FML

#20883308
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54074) - you deserved it (4960)

On 09/16/2013 at 12:35am - health - by chestycough - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my best friend confessed to me that she's a lesbian. She quickly added, "Oh, don't worry, I don't like you. You're not attractive." FML

#20871260
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53956) - you deserved it (4617)

On 09/07/2013 at 10:17am - misc - by ...thanks (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend is upset with me for not wanting to sext. I can't sext with her because she adds 'lol' to everything which turns me off. FML

#20879249
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53769) - you deserved it (6243)

On 09/13/2013 at 2:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

#20889434
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53682) - you deserved it (35973)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked in on my daughter shaving the testicles of her boyfriend, who had apparently snuck in through her window. FML

#20888905
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53491) - you deserved it (5408)

On 09/20/2013 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by disappointed (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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