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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was talking to my grandma and I mentioned the fact that tomatoes are technically fruit. It's been an hour and she's still yelling, accusing me of lying to her. FML

#20473723
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26563) - you deserved it (4286)

On 01/22/2013 at 8:35pm - misc - by I should have kept my mouth shut - United States (California)

Today, my wife has the flu, while I have strep throat. We have a two-year-old toddler and have no clue as to who's more contagious and who should take care of her as to not get her sick. Yay for the entire day of surgical masks and Sesame Street. FML

#20448554
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26560) - you deserved it (2341)

On 01/08/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Curly (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my daughter tried to cover up her relapse into pyromania by explaining to me that the reason our carpet caught on fire was because a hot coal somehow worked its way free from the fireplace. Our fireplace is electric. FML

#20478067
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26475) - you deserved it (2178)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, was my birthday. Today was also the day that my mom's cat died four years ago. She was too busy crying and looking at old photos of her beloved cat to even wish me a happy birthday. FML

#20444416
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26212) - you deserved it (2033)

On 01/06/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Birthday girl (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I found out that my sleep-walking is so bad that I regularly text my friend while I sleep. I have no idea how many times this has happened. FML

#20455938
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26010) - you deserved it (3271)

On 01/12/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by I'm screwed - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

#20462817
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25990) - you deserved it (4019)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my roommate came back drunk from rushing fraternities. Normally I wouldn't have minded, had he not immediately pissed and thrown up everywhere after entering the room. If only I had moved my guitar and the suitcase full of clothes I had left out after returning from break. FML

Today, after an hour of crying over a guy I like, I put on some Adele and sang along. My mom quickly took notice and came to give me advice, which was to "get over it" because he doesn't want me, and that "masturbation beats relationships hands down." Gee, thanks mom. FML

#20469543
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25835) - you deserved it (6685)

On 01/20/2013 at 1:22pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I learned that my doctor lost all of my immunization records. I can't start law school without them. FML

#20442687
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25826) - you deserved it (1646)

On 01/04/2013 at 3:51pm - health - by bureaucratic assfuckery (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mother "checked in" to rehab on Facebook. The same rehab that told her to hand over her smartphone. The dumbass was smart enough to steal my phone and dumb enough to get it confiscated. FML

#20485491
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25810) - you deserved it (2413)

On 01/29/2013 at 10:18pm - health - by motherless - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after a very heartfelt conversation with my mother, I promised her that I'd quit smoking. I walked in on her smoking my cigarettes an hour later. Her excuse was that she didn't want my money to have gone to waste. FML

#20468389
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25662) - you deserved it (3571)

On 01/19/2013 at 7:46pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while on a first date with a charming guy, I excused myself to the bathroom. I tried to bring my purse along, since my pads were in there, and mother nature was calling. He vehemently insisted that I leave my purse, in case I was planning on stiffing him on the bill. FML

#20442878
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25609) - you deserved it (2395)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:33pm - love - by but i make different stiffies (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at 24, I still can't grow a single bit of facial hair. Well, at least not on the right side of my face. FML

#20481856
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25575) - you deserved it (2007)

On 01/27/2013 at 8:08pm - health - by ihatemylife - United States (Illinois)



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