Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML

#20484067
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21513) - you deserved it (7908)

On 01/28/2013 at 11:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a fight with my boyfriend over a girl he is close to. He later arrived with flowers for what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were for her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML

#20442364
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21508) - you deserved it (5979)

On 01/04/2013 at 9:08am - love - by damn (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML

#20444730
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21193) - you deserved it (2341)

On 01/06/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, was my birthday. Today was also the day that my mom's cat died four years ago. She was too busy crying and looking at old photos of her beloved cat to even wish me a happy birthday. FML

#20444416
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21052) - you deserved it (1619)

On 01/06/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Birthday girl (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I learned that my doctor lost all of my immunization records. I can't start law school without them. FML

#20442687
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21026) - you deserved it (1323)

On 01/04/2013 at 3:51pm - health - by bureaucratic assfuckery (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML

#20457168
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20955) - you deserved it (25513)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML

#20442898
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20934) - you deserved it (4088)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:56pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, my fiancé decided he wants a baby only because our dog is good, quiet, and falls asleep as soon as he starts to cradle her. He thinks a baby will be just like that. FML

#20445378
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20898) - you deserved it (2219)

On 01/06/2013 at 8:49pm - animals - by Twiggysucks68 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my roommate and I noticed a foul smell in our apartment. After looking around for a little while, I found that her cat had pooped on a pair of my jeans, and apparently tried to cover it up by dragging a shirt over the mess. FML

#20479640
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20385) - you deserved it (2605)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:18pm - animals - by peteswentzbass - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I was running on the treadmill at my local gym when I saw a girl I like a lot. I called out to her to say hi. As she was coming over, I accidentally stepped on the belt with one foot, crashed down on the treadmill, and continued to slide down in front of her, emerging with a gashed knee and arm. FML

#20445461
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20222) - you deserved it (3605)

On 01/06/2013 at 10:16pm - love - by Dkim620 (man) - United States

Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts. Upon waking up after my first time using it, I forgot I was wearing it and thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed and split my head open on my bedside table. FML

#20442267
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20220) - you deserved it (11062)

On 01/04/2013 at 5:13am - health - by idiot - Sweden

Today, at the reading of my mother's last will and testament, I found out that despite having cared for her for the final years of her life, she denied me an inheritance. She basically said I'm an embarrassment, because when she wrote it, I was 31 years old, with no wife or children. FML

#20445078
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20167) - you deserved it (1111)

On 01/06/2013 at 4:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I went to dinner with my girlfriend of 2 months. This would have been great, had I not been nodding absentmindedly when she suggested that we start planning our wedding soon, because "she's always dreamt of being married on the same day as Brad and Angelina." FML

#20440111
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19979) - you deserved it (21155)

On 01/03/2013 at 1:47am - love - by Brad (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: