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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML

#20458321
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35592) - you deserved it (3104)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I'm getting married. A few months ago, I allowed my mother in-law to take care of catering. She begged to be a part of the wedding, so I gave her the caterer's number and order info. It appears that I will not be eating at my own wedding because she decided to order food I'm allergic to. FML

#20482739
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35554) - you deserved it (6459)

On 01/28/2013 at 6:52am - love - by forever1990 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to explain to my husband that the 5-second rule doesn't apply if you drop the floss into the toilet. FML

#20458013
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35510) - you deserved it (2926)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm - misc - by PeeFlavouredFloss (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out that my dad, thinking it was an advertisement, threw away a letter from the college I applied to. FML

#20454916
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35436) - you deserved it (2396)

On 01/12/2013 at 4:52am - misc - by gdog10122 - United States

Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML

#20460160
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35419) - you deserved it (3209)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by Brooke - United States (California)

Today, I got married. I'm Jewish, and it's traditional to break a glass cup by stepping on it after giving the bride her ring. My brother thought it would be funny to replace the glass cup with a rubber one. I slipped and fell flat on my back. FML

#20478247
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35383) - you deserved it (3867)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML

#20455279
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35363) - you deserved it (8584)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my school's ski trip got canceled, because "All the snow makes the roads unsafe." We can't go skiing because it's snowing. FML

#20478441
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35316) - you deserved it (2916)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

#20478275
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35247) - you deserved it (5959)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my mom barged into my room at three in the morning, demanding to know where I'd been. I'd been in my room sleeping since ten o'clock. In that time she had called the police, all of my friends, and my ex-boyfriend, asking if I was with them. FML

#20479024
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35145) - you deserved it (2201)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by Sarah - United States

Today, I walked into the bathroom only to see my boyfriend sitting on the floor eating ice cream, crying. I'd say I was shocked, but this isn't the first time it's happened. FML

#20458512
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35137) - you deserved it (6353)

On 01/14/2013 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Montana)

Today, a girl I follow on Twitter tweeted, "Why can't I have a cute math tutor?" I'm her math tutor. FML

#20459715
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35088) - you deserved it (3743)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML

#20440419
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35049) - you deserved it (3169)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)



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