Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML

#20455279
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30616) - you deserved it (7918)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML

#20460160
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30557) - you deserved it (2855)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by Brooke - United States (California)

Today, thanks to our computer's browser history, I found out that my wife has been searching for local therapists who deal with cases of severe sex addiction. We've only had sex twice since we got married four months ago. FML

#20487689
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30548) - you deserved it (3072)

On 01/31/2013 at 12:08pm - love - by papersofdivorce (man) - Peru (Lima)

Today, I waited over an hour for my bus. As I finally saw it approaching, I reached into my purse to grab my ticket. The lady next to me then gave the driver a hand signal to keep driving. FML

#20451303
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30546) - you deserved it (2490)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a bull escaped from the small farm down the street. It ended up in my yard and would not let me outside. I called animal control, who said, "We only deal with regular animals." FML

#20465397
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30378) - you deserved it (2001)

On 01/17/2013 at 10:48pm - animals - by bull-stuff - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML

#20461359
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30327) - you deserved it (2696)

On 01/15/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by veggieluver (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I visited my family. Over the course of 2 hours, my brother punched me, and my mom slapped me across the face after drinking way too much wine. When I started gathering my things to leave, my mom started crying about how I don't visit enough. FML

#20474780
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30259) - you deserved it (2503)

On 01/23/2013 at 12:45pm - misc - by mariama (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me all about how his parents sat him down last night and had a 20 minute talk with him about how I'm the biggest mistake he'll ever make. FML

#20468803
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30217) - you deserved it (3389)

On 01/20/2013 at 12:01am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. He also showed me around his bedroom. I think he forgot to remove the dartboard on his wall, taped to which was a swiss-cheesed printout of one of my Facebook photos. FML

#20434714
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30211) - you deserved it (3334)

On 12/31/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by WasZumTeufel? (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

#20478275
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30210) - you deserved it (5345)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my mum excitedly discussed with me the prospect of starting a mother-son YouTube duo. Thinking she was joking, I went along with it. She is now installing a 24-hour webcam in the house to record our conversations, which she perceives as hilarious, and is going to upload them. FML

#20458570
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30203) - you deserved it (7387)

On 01/14/2013 at 5:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML

#20458321
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30201) - you deserved it (2668)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was asked out by a friend of mine. He's a doctor and works at a prestigious hospital, so thinking we would eat somewhere special, I got all dressed up. We ended up eating at his hospital's cafeteria, because he gets a small employee discount. FML

#20453732
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30156) - you deserved it (6789)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:37pm - love - by wowthanks (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: