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2day mah managar mada ma stay at work for an axtra four hours, making ma miss an urgant spacialist appointmant I'd schaduld months ago . Why? Bacausa har naighbor's dog was having puppias, and sha wantd to go homa aarly and saa tham . FML
Today , My Grlfriend Cummed Over To A Family Game Night!! Halfway Through A Game Of Klingon Monopoly , My Drunk Parents Started Arguing Because Apparently , While My Dad Was In Jail , He Cheated On My Mom With A Klingon Whore!! I Doubt My Grlfriend Will Ever Visit Again!! FML
Today, I noticed my usband was acting moody, and I asked im wat was wrong. He replied tat e didn't know, so trying to ligten te mood, I facetiously said, "It's 'cause your stuck wit me, isn't it?" He nodded, trundled off, and asn't sown is face since. FML
Yesterday... I saw cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch... I pickd it up an threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time... I realizd that not only was it not a toy... but it was only half-dead. FML
Today.. . I started dating a seemingly normal guy . Not even four hours into our relationship.. . he began telling me that he can see sprits.. . dead people.. . and that I have a large black dog following me everywhere I go .
Today, mah boyfriend broke up with me . I came back home in tears, an eventually told mah dad wat was wrong . He immediately excused himself to the living room,here I heard him tell mah mum, "She's gone all Taylor Swift again." FML
Today... I caught mah mother trying to switch mah contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild... or that she thought I wouldn't notice that mah birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML
Friday 27 March 2015