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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend was showing me photos on his iPod when he came across a photo of a half-naked girl. He tried to play it off by quickly changing it, only to reveal even more half-naked girls. FML

#20065430
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26112) - you deserved it (2878)

On 09/09/2012 at 10:12pm - love - by hatemyluck (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML

#20086696
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25968) - you deserved it (2351)

On 09/24/2012 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I attended my 10-year high school reunion. My ex-husband's new wife showed up in the same dress as mine. I guess both the dress and my ex-husband look better on her. FML

#20055300
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25876) - you deserved it (2156)

On 09/03/2012 at 4:17am - love - by ugly (woman) - United States

Today, someone brought cake to class. Trying to get some attention from the guy I have a crush on, I asked if he wanted my piece of cake. He accepted it, and then offered it to another girl. FML

#20077941
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25825) - you deserved it (4540)

On 09/18/2012 at 4:07pm - love - by emselin - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I found out that, for over three years, my boyfriend has solely been dating me to get closer to my mom. Apparently, "she's a total MILF." FML

#20077204
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25787) - you deserved it (2027)

On 09/18/2012 at 12:25am - love - by daughter (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML

#20091837
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25655) - you deserved it (3415)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was on a plane returning to University, and I decided to shut my eyes. I opened them about 45 minutes later just as the plane landed to find I couldn't move at all. I was in sleep paralysis. The air hostesses had to lift me out of my seat. FML

#20090890
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25624) - you deserved it (1841)

On 09/27/2012 at 11:46am - health - by Dave (man) - United Kingdom

Today, an incredibly rude woman came in for a hairdressing appointment. I had to put up with being yelled at and called a "clumsy bitch," a "pleb," and other insults for almost half an hour. When I finally managed to finish her hair, instead of tipping me, she spat at my feet and stormed out. FML

#20093857
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25597) - you deserved it (2017)

On 09/29/2012 at 4:34pm - misc - by scumdresser (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML

#20068529
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25570) - you deserved it (3823)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:03am - kids - by AGeeksWife (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML

#20061927
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25501) - you deserved it (2992)

On 09/07/2012 at 12:23pm - work - by PuddlePirate (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I held hands with a male mannequin in a department store, just to remember what holding hands felt like. FML

#20069351
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25380) - you deserved it (6148)

On 09/12/2012 at 8:26pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found a tiny, featherless baby bird. I knew it was impossible, but I tried to keep it alive through the day. Before I could get it to the wildlife center, it died, and when I got all choked up over it, my mom started laughing at me and saying how "weak" I was. FML

#20077707
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25373) - you deserved it (4301)

On 09/18/2012 at 12:19pm - animals - by Birdwatcher (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mother shared my phone number with my brother, despite my explicit wishes that she didn't. He immediately went and put it on Craigslist and several other websites. This is the fourth time I've had to change my number for that very same reason. FML

#20066134
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25340) - you deserved it (1997)

On 09/10/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



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