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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, an incredibly rude woman came in for a hairdressing appointment. I had to put up with being yelled at and called a "clumsy bitch," a "pleb," and other insults for almost half an hour. When I finally managed to finish her hair, instead of tipping me, she spat at my feet and stormed out. FML

#20093857
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24684) - you deserved it (1939)

On 09/29/2012 at 4:34pm - misc - by scumdresser (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out what it feels like to have a cotton swab shoved up my cock's piss-pipe. FML

#20057281
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24648) - you deserved it (8422)

On 09/04/2012 at 11:09am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML

#20062989
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24640) - you deserved it (4995)

On 09/08/2012 at 10:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he says, "There's too much of an age gap between us" and that it makes him "feel like a pedophile". He's only four months older than I am. FML

#20086279
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24637) - you deserved it (1687)

On 09/24/2012 at 4:15am - love - by Alright. (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, after completely refilling my almost empty gas tank, I witnessed the price flip from $3.69 per gallon to $3.59. FML

#20082194
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24606) - you deserved it (2181)

On 09/21/2012 at 2:49pm - money - by The Drew - United States

Today, my mother texted me that she was in labor. She never told me she was pregnant. Apparently she's engaged too. FML

#20091458
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24480) - you deserved it (1822)

On 09/27/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by annoyed - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad wants me to spray a wasp nest, because I'm the fittest family member and can run the fastest. The wasps are already angry, and I'm allergic to them. FML

#20052266
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24394) - you deserved it (1567)

On 09/01/2012 at 10:09am - health - by iliveintexas - United States (Texas)

Today, my intoxicated husband asked my very conservative parents how their sex life is now that all the kids are out of the house. FML

#20088791
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24341) - you deserved it (2816)

On 09/25/2012 at 9:48pm - intimacy - by kiwi2323 (woman) - United States

Today, a dog attacked me. Its owner, instead of apologizing and helping me, said it was my own fault for making it think I was an attacker by running past them. We were on a jogging track. FML

#20052963
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24294) - you deserved it (1539)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:15pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML

#20089771
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24196) - you deserved it (2102)

On 09/26/2012 at 4:27pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that, for over three years, my boyfriend has solely been dating me to get closer to my mom. Apparently, "she's a total MILF." FML

#20077204
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24169) - you deserved it (1906)

On 09/18/2012 at 12:25am - love - by daughter (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete. It started with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shirt, the final straw being the affected British accent. I'm considering where to dump the body. FML

#20086118
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24163) - you deserved it (2739)

On 09/24/2012 at 1:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found a tiny, featherless baby bird. I knew it was impossible, but I tried to keep it alive through the day. Before I could get it to the wildlife center, it died, and when I got all choked up over it, my mom started laughing at me and saying how "weak" I was. FML

#20077707
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24154) - you deserved it (4172)

On 09/18/2012 at 12:19pm - animals - by Birdwatcher (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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